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Resentment -DNQ- Sneakmom 2 kids; Texas 4861 posts
23rd Mar '13

How normal is it to feel moderately resentful of the person you're with for infringing on your space?



As asked, please don't quote.
By "moderately" I mean being cranky/PMSy though realizing and admitting the thought process is irrational and hurtful.

Kay Peezy 3 kids; Maryland 2079 posts
23rd Mar '13

I'm not sure what you mean. I've never felt like that? I share everything with my husband and I think that's how it should be...

Sneakmom 2 kids; Texas 4861 posts
23rd Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kay Peezy:</b>" I'm not sure what you mean. I've never felt like that? I share everything with my husband and I think that's how it should be..."</blockquote>



Well yeah, we share everything but we're both reserved/quiet/loners if you would, so with the baby not sleeping well lately we're going through an "I love you but I don't really want to talk to you or hang out much because the concept of people making noise makes my head hurt and I want to crawl into bed and pretend im bu myself" thing.

user banned Due November 26; 1 child; Parkersburg, West Virginia 9548 posts
23rd Mar '13

idk both my so and me are on the autistic spectrum and we like our space and quiet time.

Kay Peezy 3 kids; Maryland 2079 posts
23rd Mar '13

I see. It sounds like you both need to take turns getting out of the house for a break! Some time alone for a couple hours can work wonders. I would suggest it to him and see what he says. The key to avoiding resentment is open communication. :)

❀Sarah❀ 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Cocking, EU, Europe 125898 posts
status 23rd Mar '13

Are you sure resentment is the word you're looking for? I've read the OP and your follow up post a few times and I'm still not getting it.

ERMAGHERD BEEDS! 17 kids; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 4099 posts
23rd Mar '13

I'm not sure if this 100% what you're feeling, but maybe at least a little? I don't know, it really helped me find a frame of reference for some frustrations I was having



http://thehairpin.com/2013/01/that-baby-wants-to-break-you-up

Sneakmom 2 kids; Texas 4861 posts
23rd Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ⚓ Sarah ⚓:</b>" Are you sure resentment is the word you're looking for? I've read the OP and your follow up post a few times and I'm still not getting it. "</blockquote>




Yeah, I think so. I'm so f**king tired I can barely make a sentence. What I mean to say is things have been tense because we're both running on no sleep and have no sitter, both working in customer service jobs, and don't really feel like socializing even with each other. The resentment part comes in where DH says the whole no sleep and busy all the time makes him feel resentful toward me for him not having his teenage boy freedom even though he knows it's hurtful and isn't my fault, it's just life. Inb4get counseling: we already are.

Sneakmom 2 kids; Texas 4861 posts
23rd Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Cheeks mom:</b>" I'm not sure if this 100% what you're feeling, but maybe at least a little? I don't know, it really helped ... [snip!] ... me find a frame of reference for some frustrations I was having http://thehairpin.com/2013/01/that-baby-wants-to-break-you-up"</blockquote>




THIS article describes it perfectly. That is what's been going on.

ERMAGHERD BEEDS! 17 kids; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 4099 posts
23rd Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Sneakthief:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Cheeks mom:</b>" I'm not sure if this 100% what you're feeling, ... [snip!] ... THIS article describes it perfectly. That is what's been going on."</blockquote>




Have him read it, too. SO and I both did and were able to discuss our feelings without getting hurt, because we realized we were both feeling the exact same way. Good luck!

Sneakmom 2 kids; Texas 4861 posts
23rd Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Cheeks mom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Sneakthief:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Cheeks mom:</b>" ... [snip!] ... were able to discuss our feelings without getting hurt, because we realized we were both feeling the exact same way. Good luck!"</blockquote>




Thank you!!!

ERMAGHERD BEEDS! 17 kids; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 4099 posts
23rd Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Sneakthief:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Cheeks mom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Sneakthief:</b>" ... [snip!] ... getting hurt, because we realized we were both feeling the exact same way. Good luck!"</blockquote> Thank you!!!"</blockquote>



No problem! I can't remember how I stumbled on it but I was so happy when I read it.

Little Vine Japan 422 posts
24th Mar '13
Quoting Cheeks mom:" I'm not sure if this 100% what you're feeling, but maybe at least a little? I don't know, it really helped ... [snip!] ... me find a frame of reference for some frustrations I was having http://thehairpin.com/2013/01/that-baby-wants-to-break-you-up"


That article is hilarious, and so true. Before I read it OP I was still going to tell you it's probably pretty damn normal as long as it's intermittent. Hang in there - I always found that being "the bigger person" and doing little things for my SO encouraged him to do the same for me. When you're miserable, the smallest act of kindness can mean the world.

Sneakmom 2 kids; Texas 4861 posts
24th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Little Vine:</b>" That article is hilarious, and so true. Before I read it OP I was still going to tell you it's probably ... [snip!] ... things for my SO encouraged him to do the same for me. When you're miserable, the smallest act of kindness can mean the world."</blockquote>




That's what we're working on right now. We took things pretty fast too, so it's to be expected but I am way tired of the sleep deprivation making him an ass. When he realized he was being so cranky he got a lot better but he still has a short fuse and I don't walk on eggshells very well.

ERMAGHERD BEEDS! 17 kids; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 4099 posts
24th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Sneakthief:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Little Vine:</b>" That article is hilarious, and so true. Before ... [snip!] ... he realized he was being so cranky he got a lot better but he still has a short fuse and I don't walk on eggshells very well."</blockquote>




Lol, you sound exactly like me! I like the way you said that, it's literally exactly how SO and I were when DD was a newb and we weren't sleeping!