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Vent Melissa_15 Due May 11 (girl); Iowa 190 posts
23rd Mar '13

I'm seriously so annoyed with living here. Nothing has happened with the custody stuff, so I'm still stuck living with my dad and raging b***h of a stepmom. I don't understand why my dad is so set on living with him, when he's so unsupportive of my decisions. There's 7 weeks left until Bayleigh is due and he hasn't even mentioned preparing for her or anything.. and we already have plenty of things at my mom's and boyfriend's houses. Everyone that supports me lives 400 miles away and I feel so hopeless. I stay in my room all day, my parents never ask me to go anywhere with them, and I'm just sick and tired of it. He and my stepmom treat me like an adult and expect me to act like an adult, yet Im not allowed to make my own decisions about where I live like an adult would.
I know this is pretty pointless, but it helps for me to just get everything out.

M walls 4 kids; Keenesburg, Colorado 7267 posts
23rd Mar '13

I'm sorry. Why can't you live with your mom ??

мɑkɑnɑni ~*~, FL, United States 63165 posts
23rd Mar '13

You live under their roof. Unless you pay rent and help with bills, you kind of have to abide by them.

speaktruth2powr 2 kids; Ontario 45179 posts
status 23rd Mar '13

This is your child, what should he be doing to prepare for her?



Get your things from your mom's house and bring them to your dad's house.



Of course, they are treating you like an adult, and you should be acting like an adult, you are choosing to bring a child into this world...

Melissa_15 Due May 11 (girl); Iowa 190 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting M walls:" I'm sorry. Why can't you live with your mom ??"

She's fighting for custody of me. It's just taking forever to get a court date.

Melissa_15 Due May 11 (girl); Iowa 190 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting speaktruth2powr:" This is your child, what should he be doing to prepare for her? Get your things from your mom's house ... [snip!] ... are treating you like an adult, and you should be acting like an adult, you are choosing to bring a child into this world..."

So, if I should be acting like an adult, I should have the choice to live with my mom without going through all of the custody stuff. I'd be a hell of a lot better off there, with family who supports me, and my boyfriend, than I am here. When I told my dad I was pregnant, he sold my truck as punishment. Living here I have no way to get to and from doctor's appointments, a job, school, daycare, etc.

Melissa_15 Due May 11 (girl); Iowa 190 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting mαkαnαni:" You live under their roof. Unless you pay rent and help with bills, you kind of have to abide by them."

I never once said that I didn't have to abide by them. Maybe you took what I said in a different way than what I meant?

speaktruth2powr 2 kids; Ontario 45179 posts
status 23rd Mar '13
Quoting Melissa_15:" So, if I should be acting like an adult, I should have the choice to live with my mom without going through ... [snip!] ... sold my truck as punishment. Living here I have no way to get to and from doctor's appointments, a job, school, daycare, etc. "


No, because that is something that your parents need to work out.



You've chosen to have a baby, that doesn't mean that they still aren't legally responsible for what happens to you.



Did your dad buy your truck for you? If so, good for him!

Mrs. Sherwood TTC since Jun 2013; 16 kids; Mesa, Arizona 3391 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting Melissa_15:" So, if I should be acting like an adult, I should have the choice to live with my mom without going through ... [snip!] ... sold my truck as punishment. Living here I have no way to get to and from doctor's appointments, a job, school, daycare, etc. "


Being an adult isn't about having a car that your father gave you. My Dad would have done the same thing if I had gotten pregnant at your age. Instead I waited until I was an adult to start trying to bring children into the world.
I really hope things get better for you but honestly - if you want to have a child, it's not unrealistic of your Dad to expect you to start taking care of yourself and your child financially. It wasn't his choice to have the baby.

Melissa_15 Due May 11 (girl); Iowa 190 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting speaktruth2powr:" No, because that is something that your parents need to work out. You've chosen to have a baby, that ... [snip!] ... that they still aren't legally responsible for what happens to you. Did your dad buy your truck for you? If so, good for him!"

Yes, he's bought me three different vehicles. I was a bit of a spoiled brat before I got pregnant. Since then, our relationship has went to crap and there's absolutely zero communication between us. Maybe if you read some of my other threads you'll have a better idea. It is something that my parents need to work out, but I'm in the middle of it because my parents can't communicate with one another. It's been this way my whole life. They cannot agree on a single thing.

Melissa_15 Due May 11 (girl); Iowa 190 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting Mrs. Sherwood:" Being an adult isn't about having a car that your father gave you. My Dad would have done the same thing ... [snip!] ... of your Dad to expect you to start taking care of yourself and your child financially. It wasn't his choice to have the baby."

I never said I didn't think he should expect me to take care of myself and my child. I was simply saying that it's impossible because I live 15 miles out in the country with no way to get to a job, which I kind of need to support myself and my child. But that has nothing to do with anything, because there's pretty much a zero percent chance I'll live here once she's born. I'm just sick of waiting, which is what I was trying to say in my original post.

speaktruth2powr 2 kids; Ontario 45179 posts
status 23rd Mar '13
Quoting Melissa_15:" Yes, he's bought me three different vehicles. I was a bit of a spoiled brat before I got pregnant. Since ... [snip!] ... because my parents can't communicate with one another. It's been this way my whole life. They cannot agree on a single thing. "


Just because he isn't over the moon that his 16 year old is pregnant, doesn't mean he doesn't support you.



Why does your father have physical custody over your mother? How long have you lived with him?

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
23rd Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Melissa_15:</b>" Yes, he's bought me three different vehicles. I was a bit of a spoiled brat before I got pregnant. Since ... [snip!] ... because my parents can't communicate with one another. It's been this way my whole life. They cannot agree on a single thing. "</blockquote>




So is it safe to say that being over indulged is what got you into this mess? Sounds like your dad sees where the mistakes were and although a little late, is trying to teach you structure and discipline like he should have before you got pregnant.

Mrs. Sherwood TTC since Jun 2013; 16 kids; Mesa, Arizona 3391 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting speaktruth2powr:" Just because he isn't over the moon that his 16 year old is pregnant, doesn't mean he doesn't support ... [snip!] ... mean he doesn't support you. Why does your father have physical custody over your mother? How long have you lived with him?"


I was wondering the same thing. It seems odd that her Dad would be awarded physical custody when she's old enough to make her own decision, and wants to go stay with her mom.

Melissa_15 Due May 11 (girl); Iowa 190 posts
23rd Mar '13
Quoting speaktruth2powr:" Just because he isn't over the moon that his 16 year old is pregnant, doesn't mean he doesn't support ... [snip!] ... mean he doesn't support you. Why does your father have physical custody over your mother? How long have you lived with him?"

I don't want to come off as rude, but please don't try to tell me about how he does or doesn't support me. There's a very long story behind the entire situation, and without knowing the full story, you wouldn't really know. My mom signed over primary custodial care or whatever about 5 years ago. She was moving around a lot, in a bad relationship, and a bad financial state. Living with my dad was better for me at the time. My three younger siblings, who have a different dad than I do, also lived with my uncle for about 2 years until she got her life together again.