Reply
My Daughter's Dad Sucks! *Vent* Two Princesses 2 kids; Long Beach, CA, United States 7198 posts
24th Mar '13

My daughter is two. I allow her to sleep over at my ex mother in law's house on Saturdays so she can spend time with her dad but with someone there because he is an alcoholic and one just never knows with him.
He has been missing more and more Saturdays. At first it was every other Saturday that he would miss, than two Saturday's a month. but lately it's been in unpredictable spurts where they will see her two Saturdays in a row, and then not again for almost a month.
My daughter is so sad today. She's been crying and extra clingy to my fiance (Which of course he is fine with). I'm pretty sure she knows her dad is supposed to be with her today. Seeing her so upset breaks my heart and makes me really mad at him for putting her through that.
I'm waiting for my divorce decree to come. Because he took no action, he's losing all visitation legally and I'm getting full physical/legal custody.
but people like my mom and grandma tell me not allowing him to see her anymore would be messed up because she loves him and all that crap. I know that's true, but when he lets her down like this, I just really wish he'd go away forever. and him not paying a single solitary dime in child support doesn't help his case in my eyes. I just wish his daughter meant more to him than beer.
-End vent-

Onalee's Mummy Due August 26 (boy); 1 child; Newcastle, Australia 5355 posts
24th Mar '13

Is she almost 3?



Yes it will be sad for her not to see him but she will adjust. It's better then letting him break her heart over and over for the rest of her life

user banned Due November 26; 1 child; Parkersburg, West Virginia 9548 posts
24th Mar '13

i would try to get him to sign over his rights if he doesnt want to be a dad dont make him it will just hurt dd. and even though she loves him its in her best interest not to get hurt all the time

Two Princesses 2 kids; Long Beach, CA, United States 7198 posts
24th Mar '13
Quoting Onalee's Mummy:" Is she almost 3? Yes it will be sad for her not to see him but she will adjust. It's better then letting him break her heart over and over for the rest of her life"



She will be three in October.
I agree with you. but my mom says by keeping from her, I will be giving her the ultimate heart break and that I should let her learn for herself what a loser he is so she never thinks I kept some great daddy from her.
but ug he just sucks so muuuch.

Two Princesses 2 kids; Long Beach, CA, United States 7198 posts
24th Mar '13
Quoting I love Kenzi:" i would try to get him to sign over his rights if he doesnt want to be a dad dont make him it will just hurt dd. and even though she loves him its in her best interest not to get hurt all the time"


I've asked him to sign away rights before, but he refuses. I think partly because his mom would disown him if he did. My daughter is the daughter she wishes she had insted of her loser son.
I am really thinking about cutting him off all together, despite his claims that he loves our daughter and wants to be a dad. I just wanna be sure it's absolutely what is best and that I am not just bias in some way.

Onalee's Mummy Due August 26 (boy); 1 child; Newcastle, Australia 5355 posts
24th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Two Princesses:</b>" She will be three in October. I agree with you. but my mom says by keeping from her, I will be giving ... [snip!] ... her learn for herself what a loser he is so she never thinks I kept some great daddy from her. but ug he just sucks so muuuch."</blockquote>




Maybe so but she is three. Well 2 right now. That's to big a decision for her to make.



In ten years time she will probably not remember it anymore

user banned Due November 26; 1 child; Parkersburg, West Virginia 9548 posts
24th Mar '13
Quoting Two Princesses:" I've asked him to sign away rights before, but he refuses. I think partly because his mom would disown ... [snip!] ... our daughter and wants to be a dad. I just wanna be sure it's absolutely what is best and that I am not just bias in some way."

then he needs to pay child support. if you trust her and she is a good grandma you can have him sign his parental rights over to her and she can pay child support and see her the times he would if he were to go to court.

Two Princesses 2 kids; Long Beach, CA, United States 7198 posts
24th Mar '13
Quoting Onalee's Mummy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Two Princesses:</b>" She will be three in October. I agree ... [snip!] ... Well 2 right now. That's to big a decision for her to make. In ten years time she will probably not remember it anymore"


I agree. I was thinking if he goes away now, she'll forget him and not miss him.
but my mom and others even my fiance argue that she will have this huge void in her heart and that she will wonder what could have been. Maybe even blame me for keeping him from her. That letting her figure it out is the best way. but through repeted let down? I just don't think so.

Two Princesses 2 kids; Long Beach, CA, United States 7198 posts
24th Mar '13
Quoting I love Kenzi:" then he needs to pay child support. if you trust her and she is a good grandma you can have him sign ... [snip!] ... sign his parental rights over to her and she can pay child support and see her the times he would if he were to go to court. "


I wish. I do trust her as far as letting her stay there, but she flipped her lid when I said her son should pay child support. Said if I put an order of child support wage garnishment on him no one would higher him which is bull crap.
As soon as it's final and he's officially lost all rights, I plan on submiting a case to Child Support to build up back child support for in case he ever does get his life together.

user banned Due November 26; 1 child; Parkersburg, West Virginia 9548 posts
24th Mar '13
Quoting Two Princesses:" I wish. I do trust her as far as letting her stay there, but she flipped her lid when I said her son ... [snip!] ... I plan on submiting a case to Child Support to build up back child support for in case he ever does get his life together."


im most states you can only go back 3 years. i would put it on him now. tell him he can sign over rights and be done or pay. if he doesnt pay it will always follow him around. he cant have his cake and eat it too and he shouldnt be allowed to. sounds like his mom has taught him he doesnt have to be responcible or take accountability for anything

Two Princesses 2 kids; Long Beach, CA, United States 7198 posts
24th Mar '13
Quoting I love Kenzi:" im most states you can only go back 3 years. i would put it on him now. tell him he can sign over rights ... [snip!] ... shouldnt be allowed to. sounds like his mom has taught him he doesnt have to be responcible or take accountability for anything"


The child support will be put on him befre her third birthday for sure. I should be getting my divorce decree any day now.
and you're spot on about what his mom taught him. It's a crying shame
.

girlnextdoor California 14 posts
26th Mar '13

What a hard thing to decide! Have you thought about asking a child therapist what the long and short term ramifications would be for your daughter? Maybe just getting some professional advice about this would put your mind at ease (and also your mother's). This just seems too important of a decision to not go the "extra mile" and get solid information.