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Should I just leave him now? UH-LEX-US Due June 9; 1 child; Phoenix, Arizona 170 posts
26th Mar '13

So I'll try and make this short as possible.



My boyfriend and I got pregnant in 2007. At that point been together about 9-10months. I was 15 and it was stressful finding out, and neither was really ready. He was happy, yes, but because we got worried we both said things we shouldn't have and he walked out. He didn't see our girl till she was 2 (2010), he was with a woman and had a kid and one on the way with her, but left and was with Olivia and I. Well, a few weeks in he leaves, again. I was mad I said horrible things because he didn't even mention he wanted to still see her. He eventually told me after a lot of arguing that he'd be fine never seeing her again because he hasn't known her long. Well as dumb as I was, last year he left her again but they have gotten married since 2010. We been together since August 2012 so far, and expecting #2. He seems so happy with me and I know how much he loves me but there's one issue.



He never asks how Olivia is when I'm home visiting my mom, he never talks about her, not even a picture on FB. Normally it'd be whatever because we live together so he sees her all the time, and his ex (soon to be the ex-wife) is a b***h when it comes to him seeing his other two daughters now, so he barely sees them. He talks about them all the time, always asks how they are, pics of them all everywhere. Tbh I just feel like he feels stuck with her because he's with me. My daughter is everything to me, and he acts like he has to be around her.



Advice anyone?

Kimmy Gibbler 2 kids; Grapevine, Texas 8039 posts
26th Mar '13

I'm confused. Does he live with you and your daughter now??

speaktruth2powr 2 kids; Ontario 45008 posts
status 26th Mar '13

I'm confused.



He has a child with you that he never sees or asks about, and you chose to have another child with him?

lolajessup Due July 25; 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44057 posts
26th Mar '13

Maybe he's having issues bonding or finding that connection with Olivia? It sounds like he missed most of her childhood. If you two have a good relationship I don't see why you'd need to leave him. But maybe you guys can do some family counseling to try to get to the root of the issue. But if you're expecting #2 with him I wouldn't want him to do the same in and out with that one too.

Nathan Young 2 kids; Syracuse, New York 57578 posts
26th Mar '13

He sounds like a shitty choice of partner when he leaves you and his child multiple times, his other partner and his other children multiple times, and you're expecting again with him.



IMO, yes. But you're gonna do what you're gonna do, and that opinion has zero to do with whether or not he asks or posts pictures on Facebook.

Brit :) Due January 26; 1 child; Gainesville, Georgia 511 posts
26th Mar '13

not to sound rude but why would you trust a man that has left you and dd so many times not to mention leaving another woman and two other dds ? i would be afraid that he would just do it again after you have your 2nd baby bc obviously a child is no incentive for him to stay

lolajessup Due July 25; 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44057 posts
26th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Asher and Haddie's Mommy:</b>" I'm confused. Does he live with you and your daughter now?? "</blockquote>




Yes from what I gathered.

UH-LEX-US Due June 9; 1 child; Phoenix, Arizona 170 posts
26th Mar '13
Quoting speaktruth2powr:" I'm confused. He has a child with you that he never sees or asks about, and you chose to have another child with him?"


No. I live with him and our daughter, but I go to my moms here and there to visit for a week or two at a time, and doesn't even ask how she's doing when we talk. I didn't notice all of this until I got pregnant.

J+K= Bri&Colton:) 2 kids; Windsor, PA, United States 8479 posts
26th Mar '13

He sounds like a shitty guy to be with, IMO.

UH-LEX-US Due June 9; 1 child; Phoenix, Arizona 170 posts
26th Mar '13
Quoting lolajessup:" Maybe he's having issues bonding or finding that connection with Olivia? It sounds like he missed most ... [snip!] ... to the root of the issue. But if you're expecting #2 with him I wouldn't want him to do the same in and out with that one too."

I think he has trouble bonding, yes. I just don't know if it'll go away. He's been around her all the time for almost a year now.

lolajessup Due July 25; 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44057 posts
26th Mar '13

Oh and for what it's worth my fianc

Nathan Young 2 kids; Syracuse, New York 57578 posts
26th Mar '13
Quoting UH-LEX-US:" No. I live with him and our daughter, but I go to my moms here and there to visit for a week or two ... [snip!] ... a week or two at a time, and doesn't even ask how she's doing when we talk. I didn't notice all of this until I got pregnant."


That's the biggest issue you see? That seems very odd to me.



And, IMO, very silly to choose to have another child with him after only a few months of being back together when he's done this not only to you multiple times, but to someone else and other children of his multiple times.

user banned Due November 7; 1 child; Dayton, Ohio 26853 posts
26th Mar '13
Quoting The Doctor:" He sounds like a shitty choice of partner when he leaves you and his child multiple times, his other ... [snip!] ... gonna do what you're gonna do, and that opinion has zero to do with whether or not he asks or posts pictures on Facebook."


Preach!

Your SO not only sounds like a bad partner choice, but a terrible human being.

Brit :) Due January 26; 1 child; Gainesville, Georgia 511 posts
26th Mar '13
Quoting UH-LEX-US:" No. I live with him and our daughter, but I go to my moms here and there to visit for a week or two ... [snip!] ... a week or two at a time, and doesn't even ask how she's doing when we talk. I didn't notice all of this until I got pregnant."


IMO if he was never around the first few years of her life and came back and left again several times then he is coming back for you not because of his child

The Time Police 2 kids; Cold Lake, AB, Canada 33400 posts
26th Mar '13

He sounds like a man who likes to leave his children, to me. I don't think I'd have welcomed him back into my life in the first place.



But the picture things are whatever, my husband doesn't post or share pictures of our kids.