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UH-LEX-US Due June 9 (boy); 1 child; Phoenix, Arizona 170 posts
26th Mar '13
Quoting Kayla [:)]♥:" He sounds like a man who likes to leave his children, to me. I don't think I'd have welcomed him back ... [snip!] ... into my life in the first place. But the picture things are whatever, my husband doesn't post or share pictures of our kids."


Idc if he posts things or not, but when he only does of his other kids it looks weird to me.

Christan_89 2 kids; Grapevine, Texas 8043 posts
26th Mar '13

Honestly, when he said he'd be fine never seeing his daughter again, that's when it would have been ended for good if it were me. It says a lot about his character in that statement. Not to mention this back-and-forth between his ex and his other kids. It seems like he wants to be with whomever is the most convenient for him. Parenting isn't convenient and it doesn't seem as if he's interested in being a father to his kids.

lolajessup 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44070 posts
26th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting UH-LEX-US:</b>" I think he has trouble bonding, yes. I just don't know if it'll go away. He's been around her all the time for almost a year now."</blockquote>



That's why he may need counseling to get to the root of the issue. Just living with someone doesn't create a bond. There has to be some issue keeping him back. But if do family counsing. Don't bring it up as him having an issue. I'd bring it up as figuring out how to move on from all the issues you two have been through and all the kids and how they all fit in to the mix or whatever.

Brit :) Due January 26; 1 child; Gainesville, Georgia 511 posts
26th Mar '13
Quoting Asher and Haddie's Mommy:" Honestly, when he said he'd be fine never seeing his daughter again, that's when it would have been ended ... [snip!] ... most convenient for him. Parenting isn't convenient and it doesn't seem as if he's interested in being a father to his kids. "


:!::!::!::!:

UH-LEX-US Due June 9 (boy); 1 child; Phoenix, Arizona 170 posts
26th Mar '13
Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting UH-LEX-US:</b>" I think he has trouble bonding, yes. I just ... [snip!] ... how to move on from all the issues you two have been through and all the kids and how they all fit in to the mix or whatever."


I may bring that up then. I am just worried it won't work. I know I didn't make the best decisions, I know. But I'm not about to make another if I can prevent it.

Michelle Barron Due June 22 (girl); 3 kids; Yucca Valley, California 1 posts
26th Mar '13

I agree that the fact he is willing to leave all these kids behind is not a good sign. I'm not here to judge. My husband has two daughters and we have one and one on the way. I think it's natural for a man to miss and want what he can't have. Much like children yearn for an absent parent. It's not that my husband loves our kids less but he is comforted by the fact that he sees them daily. The other two children are far away and his heart aches for them.

Christan_89 2 kids; Grapevine, Texas 8043 posts
26th Mar '13
Quoting UH-LEX-US:" I may bring that up then. I am just worried it won't work. I know I didn't make the best decisions, I know. But I'm not about to make another if I can prevent it."


The fact of the matter is that you're together now with a child and one on the way. It's not good for your kids to have all of this "in and out" shit going on with their father. Do what you can to make it work. Counseling, etc. If he leaves though, that HAS to be the end of it.

UH-LEX-US Due June 9 (boy); 1 child; Phoenix, Arizona 170 posts
26th Mar '13
Quoting Michelle Barron:" I agree that the fact he is willing to leave all these kids behind is not a good sign. I'm not here to ... [snip!] ... less but he is comforted by the fact that he sees them daily. The other two children are far away and his heart aches for them."


To me people break up. He sees his kids when he can but the ex makes that almost impossible at the moment. He always calls them up, gives them half of what he makes each month to support because the woman won't get off her bum and do anything since she thinks it's all the mans job. He didn't just leave his kids by any means. He just doesn't act concerned for our daughter, that's the issue. :(

lolajessup 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44070 posts
26th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Asher and Haddie's Mommy:</b>" Honestly, when he said he'd be fine never seeing his daughter again, that's when it would have been ended ... [snip!] ... most convenient for him. Parenting isn't convenient and it doesn't seem as if he's interested in being a father to his kids. "</blockquote>




This.

lolajessup 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44070 posts
26th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Asher and Haddie's Mommy:</b>" The fact of the matter is that you're together now with a child and one on the way. It's not good for ... [snip!] ... on with their father. Do what you can to make it work. Counseling, etc. If he leaves though, that HAS to be the end of it. "</blockquote>



I agree. I'm all for making things work especially with kids involved. Plus I get you two were young. Very young. I believe people can change. But he has to know what he wants. But I agree if he leaves again it has to be it. He can't keep doing that to your kids, or you. I'm sure it's harder to stay away when he holds a special place in your heart as the father of your kids. But you have to do what's right for your babies. If you think you two can make this work then fight for it. But if not then let him go and don't look back.

3 little monsters 3 kids; Olathe, Colorado 50990 posts
26th Mar '13

Maybe he isn't bonded with her, simply seeing her everyday isn't going to create a bond between them. Do you provide most of her care? If so maybe start including him or having him do more. Maybe have a family game night or go to the park now that its getting warmer and have him push her on the swings, go down the slides, ect.

UH-LEX-US Due June 9 (boy); 1 child; Phoenix, Arizona 170 posts
26th Mar '13
Quoting 3 little monsters:" Maybe he isn't bonded with her, simply seeing her everyday isn't going to create a bond between them. ... [snip!] ... family game night or go to the park now that its getting warmer and have him push her on the swings, go down the slides, ect. "


I do all her care, yeah. He's always apart of what we do, he wants to go to the park, etc.., but it seems like nothing makes it feel right. Like after everything he still isn't close with her. I'll admit, she's been VERY moody lately and doesn't listen to him a lot, but his other two are terrors and he doesn't seem to mind it. Idk if it's just me or what.