Reply
BD family wants baby for Easter Ladee+Grant+Lilly 2 kids; Tallahassee, FL, United States 19722 posts
26th Mar '13

Really quick...



Lilly's daddy's family wanted to get her for their Spring Break, which is the week of the 8th of April. I said okay, because they are going to Ft Walton Beach which is where her daddy lives. So just now I get a text and her aunt wants to get her a week early, THIS Friday. It just happens Easter weekend is this weekend. I'm not really religious at all, and pre-stamped holidays don't really mean much to me. They, however, are VERY religious and super into holidays. I compromised at Thanksgiving, and let her go because it meant a lot to them. I gave them their choice of Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, and I took the one they didn't want. I don't mind at all with the baby sharing, I just had this whole day Sunday planned with a family dinner and an egg hunt for the kids, especially since she's toddling now. I know how much it would mean to them...I'm just kind of irritated because this was SO last minute and I already had everything planned. I mean, there isn't anything set in stone that we can't do another egg hunt when she comes back I guess. I don't know. What would you ladies do? I'm leaning towards letting her go anyway, just because holidays are such a big deal to them. I guess I'd just like some input. No rude comments please.

1 child; Chicopee, MA, United States 30921 posts
26th Mar '13

me personally i wouldnt do last minute things/switches.. if you already had a day planned i wouldnt mess up your plans because come sunday you might feel bummed if you change your mind

LA REINA™ Chicago, IL, United States 15863 posts
26th Mar '13

I would let them know about your plans and see if there is any way that they could come and get her on Sunday after you were finished with your plans.

** 19 kids; Conway, Arkansas 3576 posts
26th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting

Ladee+Grant+Lilly 2 kids; Tallahassee, FL, United States 19722 posts
26th Mar '13
Quoting
Ladee+Grant+Lilly 2 kids; Tallahassee, FL, United States 19722 posts
26th Mar '13

Okay so...I'm NOT being super selfish by secretly wanting to say no?

1 child; Chicopee, MA, United States 30921 posts
26th Mar '13
Quoting Ladee+Grant+Lilly:" I don't think I told them about my plans. I've mentioned it on FB a few times this week but it's not ... [snip!] ... they were intentionally crashing. I WILL be super bummed, I know I will, but I'll still have Grant to do stuff. :/ >.<"


then fill them in.be like you would have but you already made plans and if anything maybe they can arrange to get her later on sunday so you at least have your part with her

Klaus 2 kids; Mississippi 23429 posts
26th Mar '13

I don't really consider 3 days notice to be last minute, but I guess that's subjective.



When DH and I were not together, I let him have DS on holidays that my family and I didn't do much on. I would say if the holiday means something to them and not to you, then let them have it. If anything, it can give you something to negotiate with down the line if you come into conflict with both wanting a particular day lol. Obviously you have final say anyway, but negotiating helps keep feelings in check.

Kairi's Mama! (TTC #2) TTC since May 2012; 1 child; 1 angel baby; California 712 posts
26th Mar '13

In my opinion I wouldn't do something last minute if you had something planned already. I had to deal with traveling half an hour to my SO's family because they wanted to see her, they were really bothersome after I had delivered and they wanted us to drive there all the time. I had stitches after an episiotomy and they still didn't care. It became habitual and I couldn't stand it anymore so I put my foot down. I don't think you should worry about it too much. They will still be getting her just not as soon as they want right?

Bambi78 1 child; United Kingdom 1596 posts
26th Mar '13
Quoting Ladee+Grant+Lilly:" Really quick... Lilly's daddy's family wanted to get her for their Spring Break, which is the week of ... [snip!] ... her go anyway, just because holidays are such a big deal to them. I guess I'd just like some input. No rude comments please. "


No chance. I have to share too and Im pretty easy going like you sound but no. You have made plans so sorry but they want to organise better.

Ladee+Grant+Lilly 2 kids; Tallahassee, FL, United States 19722 posts
26th Mar '13
Quoting Klaus:" I don't really consider 3 days notice to be last minute, but I guess that's subjective. When DH and ... [snip!] ... with both wanting a particular day lol. Obviously you have final say anyway, but negotiating helps keep feelings in check."


This is why I feel so bad about wanting to say no. All I really wanted was a family dinner and an egg hunt, both of which can be done any time. They place high value on holidays, esp religious holidays like Easter. I'm seriously torn. It's no big deal I guess to just do everything twice, and let them have a special day...I guess. LOL I feel like a child almost. I just want to whine "But I had plaaaaaaaaaans!" >.< (Yes, I realize that's silly lol)

LA REINA™ Chicago, IL, United States 15863 posts
26th Mar '13
Quoting Ladee+Grant+Lilly:" Okay so...I'm NOT being super selfish by secretly wanting to say no? "

No because you already agreed to a date next week.

Sara❥ 1 child; Sumter, South Carolina 8621 posts
26th Mar '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting LA REINA

Ladee+Grant+Lilly 2 kids; Tallahassee, FL, United States 19722 posts
26th Mar '13
Quoting Kairi's Mama! (TTC #2):" In my opinion I wouldn't do something last minute if you had something planned already. I had to deal ... [snip!] ... down. I don't think you should worry about it too much. They will still be getting her just not as soon as they want right?"


They live up above ATL, we meet halfway in Columbus which is 2hrs away from here. So I feel you on the driving. And if I say no, they won't be mad or anything just dissapointed but they will understand. They're great people, and I love them to death, which makes it harder to say no because they never ask for anything

willoughfam Due May 26; 3 kids; Burlington, North Carolina 331 posts
26th Mar '13

If you had plans I would say "I'm sorry, I already made plans". It's really awesome though that you are willing to be so giving of time with them. You're definitely not being selfish if you say no this time.