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what is wrong with me and why do I still love my bd? Betty Draper 1 child; Illinois 776 posts
28th Mar '13

Long story short. →Bad relationship. No trust. Cheating & lying. Why do I still love him? Why do I care what he's doing? Why I am still trying to impress and want him to find me attractive? Why I am considering trying to work on things with him knowing he has said I love you to other girls and cheated the entire 5 years all while accusing me of shit.??? He's not a bad dad but he doesn't help financially. Whats wrong with me? I have to tell myself NOT to check his fb cuz I have the password. But it lets me know whatever sweet things he tells me he doesn't mean it if he's telling it to other girls. So confused. So hurt. So stressed. :(

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 45942 posts
28th Mar '13

You feel a connection with him because of your child, you feel a compulsion to work things out because of that.



Your child will prefer to have 2 happy parents apart, than 2 miserable parents together.

mommy of 2 great boys Due December 22 (boy); 2 kids; Lake City, Florida 432 posts
28th Mar '13

agreed with speaktruth. I still love my bd and we havnt been together in 2 and 1/2 yrs. I did move on and ended up getting married but then left him after getting pregnant. Buried the feelings for him because he was abusing my first son.

Betty Draper 1 child; Illinois 776 posts
28th Mar '13

Thanks for your advice. I understand that my child deserves 2 happy parents. I feel like I will never be happy. I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for a while. Worse in the last year. I don't want to be with anyone else. My mind is not focused on dating. I'm trying to work on myself first because there's so much I don't like about myself.. I am VERY paranoid about child abuse and don't know if I could ever trust another man to live with etc...I'm sorry that happened to your son.

mommy of 2 great boys Due December 22 (boy); 2 kids; Lake City, Florida 432 posts
28th Mar '13

As a mother that is also very paranoid about child abuse, i noticed it pretty quickly and left. Hes doing much better now. Hope your anxiety and depression gets better. I've dealt with depression since i was about 12 and its not something thats easy to deal with. I know I'm not going to trust any man to watch my children for a very very long time. My mom is my babysitter now if for some reason i need one. (currently out of work).