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4yo driving me nuts! UH-LEX-US Due June 9 (boy); 1 child; Phoenix, Arizona 170 posts
29th Mar '13

I'm at my end here.



My daughter turns 5 in May, and she has became so hard to wanna be around at the moment. We moved back into my moms from my boyfriends (till later in April), and her and my brothers dad fight a lot, so there's some yelling and she doesn't think before she says some things like "dumbass" and so Olivia picked that new wonderful word up.



If I tell her to do something, she will either fall to the floor crying, having a tantrum, call me and/or everyone around her dumb or a dumbass. I tell her to sit in her room for a bit and she yells "im gonna slam my door" and does it, sometimes closes and slams it again, a few times, saying dumbass. I know she doesn't know what it means yet, but still.



I notice it's mostly when I'm at my moms, and I don't know why. But I think because anytime I try and make her listen here (usually by sending her to her room till she stops yelling at people a certain way), she will say out loud that I shouldn't do that or that I'm being a bad mom, and the list goes on.



When I'm at the boyfriend's, she is 80% better, but will still go "i can do what i do" most of the time I tell her to do anything. There is more for her to do there, she seems bored here, I think that might have to do with it a little.



But I don't know what to do till I go back. At night (every other night my mom will sit in the room with her), if it's not her with her, she will have the biggest tantrum, yelling like I never heard a kid yell, till she just passes out. I don't do anything to her, so I don't know how come it's only towards me here. Love her to death, but this is really getting to be almost too much.



Also a year ago, she made a friend (lucky he moved) who has her age, and taught her the word "hate" by saying it to her when they didn't share toys, etc., so now I hear that she doesn't like me or hates me or wants me out of the room (at night when she sleeps), and it's just upsetting.



Anyone have advice?

Blythe. 1 child; Indiana 22086 posts
29th Mar '13

can you get your own place. Moving her to somewhere where people are fighting and cussing probably traumatized her.

UH-LEX-US Due June 9 (boy); 1 child; Phoenix, Arizona 170 posts
29th Mar '13
Quoting Blythe.:" can you get your own place. Moving her to somewhere where people are fighting and cussing probably traumatized her."



There's never ANY yelling at the boyfriend's. It's better there, and I'm sure I can get her out of the small stuff she does there, but nothing till then.

The Pretender 2 kids; Brazil 1215 posts
29th Mar '13

Make a list of things she enjoys doing or toys she enjoys playing with. Ranking them from the least to the most important.



Go through that list, one by one, taking each one away until she does what you want her to do or until her behavior is satisfactory for 'x' amount of minutes/hours.



Keep taking things away until she has absolutely nothing to play with or any fun to have. Make her sit in time outs in a boring room.



I am sort of a little more aggressive with bad behaviors/disrespectful behaviors because I feel like if she gets away with it once or twice it will be ingrained that 'its okay' or 'i can get away with it'. My daughter won't be 5 until November.



Another thing is that you can play a really fun activity for the week. Say... Going to Chuck E Cheeses on Friday.



And if she acts up, threaten to take away the fun day. And let her earn it back with good behavior.

UH-LEX-US Due June 9 (boy); 1 child; Phoenix, Arizona 170 posts
29th Mar '13
Quoting The Pretender:" Make a list of things she enjoys doing or toys she enjoys playing with. Ranking them from the least to ... [snip!] ... E Cheeses on Friday. And if she acts up, threaten to take away the fun day. And let her earn it back with good behavior. "



Oh. I do that. Not a list, but everyday I am taking something I know she really likes away. It does no good. She'll go "well i dont care" so i walk away with it, and she throws a huge tantrum after.