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co parenting question Fatty Z's mommy 1 child; Pensacola, Florida 410 posts
2nd Apr '13

I haven't been on here in quite a while but have been looking everywhere for some sort of advice on this and can't find any. I have one son who just turned 3 in January. My ex (my son's dad) recently quit his job as a brick laborer bc they weren't paying him on time, or at all really. He is currently looking for another job but doesn't have money for food for our son to go over there every wknd or every other wknd like he was. I have been in a relationship with someone else for about 8 1/2 months now, my son absolutely adores him, and he is really good to both of us. I recently moved out of my house and back in with my mom bc my roommate lost her job and could no longer afford to live where we were living and I couldn't afford to move out on my own. Bd came and helped me move some stuff this past wknd and I didn't tell my current bf I figured I'd wait til it was over and tell him then. BIG mistake on my part bc my bf drove by my house and saw bd in my gpas truck. Anyways, after three days of trying to convince him, bd was only helping bc he told my mom he would (he offered) my bf told me he doesn't want me to see bd at all or he was going to remove himself from the relationship. My dilemma is bc bd doesn't have a job and can't afford to keep our son like he was I told him it was ok to stop by my mom's when he could to spend a little time with him. My bf doesn't think that's right and that he can pick him up for the day or take him to the park and he shouldn't be spending an extended amount of time with both of us. How do I go about resolving this issue? Or do I? Do I just let my current relationship go bc I don't agree with the "terms"? Pls help!

Fatty Z's mommy 1 child; Pensacola, Florida 410 posts
2nd Apr '13

Oh and my current bf thinks that bd is still harboring feelings for me bc we saw him a few months back at walmart and I introduced them and bd just ignored him. And my bf thinks that I still have feelings for bd bc I told him that if it involves my son not seeing his father bc his father can't afford it then it becomes my problem too and I'm going to make sure that he's still able to see him

Mrs.Mud 6 kids; 2 angel babies; North Dakota 3308 posts
2nd Apr '13

This is not a co-parenting question. This is an asshat boyfriend question. He's being completely unreasonable. Your son comes first and that includes his relationship with his dad. Dude needs to lighten up or go bye-bye!

~The Lunar Flower~ 2 kids; Alabama 6748 posts
2nd Apr '13

The childs father has rights & your boyfriend is being a prick. He shouldn't control what is between you & your sons father because its NONE of his business

LA REINA™ New York, NY, United States 16286 posts
2nd Apr '13
Quoting Mrs.Mud:" This is not a co-parenting question. This is an asshat boyfriend question. He's being completely unreasonable. ... [snip!] ... unreasonable. Your son comes first and that includes his relationship with his dad. Dude needs to lighten up or go bye-bye!"

I agree.

penispenispenisVAGINA 4 kids; Idaho 7110 posts
2nd Apr '13

Sounds like your BF has some issues IMO! There always has to be a relationship between you and BD for the simple fact that you have a child together. If you guys don't at least get along for the most part the only one it's going to hurt is your child. He needs to understand that.

Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42775 posts
2nd Apr '13

I'd dump the a*****e :/ a good, respectful relationship with your kid's dad is very important for your son, that should come before a new dude.

user banned 1 child; :), :), United States 5380 posts
2nd Apr '13

Dump the loser boyfriend. You are going to see bd because of your son. The boyfriend is being stupid and needs to get over himself.

♀NoBoysAllowed 19 kids; San Diego, California 51862 posts
2nd Apr '13

Your BD is going to be in your life forever, so long as he's involved in LO's life (lots of people think until 18, but odds are you both will be attending your child's major life events when he's an adult, too).
So, if your boyfriend can't handle something that's good for your son, he's not someone you need in your life. You need to let him know this. He either deals with it or hits the road.
Plus, your bf has some serious insecurity issues that I know I wouldn't want to deal with.

Fatty Z's mommy 1 child; Pensacola, Florida 410 posts
2nd Apr '13

He DOES have insecurity issues bc his ex before me left him and got back with her bd. This is my first real relationship since bd so I'm not sure exactly how things work and I just wasn't sure if I was being unfair or irrational to my bf by saying that I'm going to allow ds dad over my mom's whenever he wants to see him. He said that if he couldn't afford to feed him he could easily pick him up after I feed him then bring him home before dinner. He said he doesn't want him spending family time with ds and I and that he needs to make his own arrangements to see his son. I also told him that bc of ds bd will always be in my life but I guess this is just an issue that will never be resolved so I just need to let him do what he said he was going to do and remove himself from the relationship. Thanks for all the advice

mom2andrew&carter 18 kids; Leesburg, Florida 2159 posts
3rd Apr '13

you need to explain to your boyfriend that you and your sons father are going to have to have a relationship no matter what because of your son. He is always gonna be a part of your life and your bf either needs to accept that or end the relationship.

I Stab People 3 kids; Zambia 6604 posts
3rd Apr '13
Quoting Fatty Z's mommy:" He DOES have insecurity issues bc his ex before me left him and got back with her bd. This is my first ... [snip!] ... I just need to let him do what he said he was going to do and remove himself from the relationship. Thanks for all the advice"

yes you really do. sucks he has to be a t**t about it, but if hes going to be immature liek that the best thing to do is to leave the relationship