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Feel lied to C410 ; 1 angel baby; California 314 posts
4th Apr '13

I have been with my boyfriend for 1.4 years, I'm 27, he's 24. When we first met, I thought I found the perfect guy, he told me that he was 25 at first, he was an "Account Manager," and that he was planning to go back to school because he already had a year into community college.



Fast forward... He's got fired twice in one year, he's actually 24, and he was a field rep, not an Account Manager. He is going back to school, but he really didn't have a year into college. Lately, I feel really depressed, and we have arguments almost on a daily basis. I can't really think clearly.



I gave him an ultimatum because I told him that I'm older and I need to know if he can commit seriously. He's only working part-time now, and going to part-time school. He promised me that he would look for full-time jobs but I knew he wasn't actively. I then found out that he was hiding the fact that he wants to look for full-time actively till next month just to see if there is any advancement in his current part-time job.



The thing is that I told him that he needs to start being more responsible by summer or else we may break up. I am not sure but it feels like he isn't taking it seriously now that he's calmly said, "I'm going to look here and there, but I'm going to start next month."



I'm ready to go the next level (get married...think about moving out and possibly purchasing a home w/ my partner, have kids, you know the 'adult' stuff), but I'm just so confused of what to do. My faith has decreased a lot for him... due to these "fibs" because he says he doesn't want to disappoint me.



Any advise would be great, thanks.

Hy'ska 2 kids; Washington 50789 posts
4th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting C410:</b>" I have been with my boyfriend for 1.4 years, I'm 27, he's 24. When we first met, I thought I found the ... [snip!] ... a lot for him... due to these "fibs" because he says he doesn't want to disappoint me. Any advise would be great, thanks."</blockquote>




It's sounds like you're having to mommy him. I'd move on.

thats me. :) 18 kids; Edmonton, Alberta 3030 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting Brink:" <blockquote><b>Quoting C410:</b>" I have been with my boyfriend for 1.4 years, I'm ... [snip!] ... me. Any advise would be great, thanks."</blockquote> It's sounds like you're having to mommy him. I'd move on."



Yeah, you sound like his mommy. it will only get worse if things don't change.

maybe try counselling

or move on..



Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting C410:" I have been with my boyfriend for 1.4 years, I'm 27, he's 24. When we first met, I thought I found the ... [snip!] ... a lot for him... due to these "fibs" because he says he doesn't want to disappoint me. Any advise would be great, thanks."


I would get to scootin! A relationship that has a foundation built on lies will always crumble. He isn't ready to grow up. Find a guy who is grown that you don't have to "raise".

C410 ; 1 angel baby; California 314 posts
4th Apr '13

Although we love each other, I know he isn't mature yet. I'm more mature for sure, is that a stance to break up?



Your thoughts?

thats me. :) 18 kids; Edmonton, Alberta 3030 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting C410:" Although we love each other, I know he isn't mature yet. I'm more mature for sure, is that a stance to break up? Your thoughts?"


I think so, because if you stay with him then you may start to resent the relationship

Hy'ska 2 kids; Washington 50789 posts
4th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting C410:</b>" Although we love each other, I know he isn't mature yet. I'm more mature for sure, is that a stance to break up? Your thoughts?"</blockquote>




I think it is. This guy couldn't even be mature enough not to lie about his age and occupation, that's not cool.

Caddy ÷ nwark, NJ, United States 9325 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting C410:" I have been with my boyfriend for 1.4 years, I'm 27, he's 24. When we first met, I thought I found the ... [snip!] ... a lot for him... due to these "fibs" because he says he doesn't want to disappoint me. Any advise would be great, thanks."


He was lying to you from the start.



That's not gonna change, sounds just like my ex. I was his freakin' mother for 5 years.



Move on, don't waste your time.
I wish I could save someone else some stress and heartache from my experience!

Kay Peezy Due October 29 (girl); 2 kids; Maryland 2053 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting C410:" I have been with my boyfriend for 1.4 years, I'm 27, he's 24. When we first met, I thought I found the ... [snip!] ... a lot for him... due to these "fibs" because he says he doesn't want to disappoint me. Any advise would be great, thanks."

Get out now. I know from personal experience that it only gets worse and you're going to be miserable. You will never be able to trust him with bigger stuff if he can't be honest with these little things.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
5th Apr '13
Quoting C410:" Although we love each other, I know he isn't mature yet. I'm more mature for sure, is that a stance to break up? Your thoughts?"


Yes. Otherwise you will forever be fighting to get on the same page. My husband and I are going thru that issue right now. We were 100% on the same page when we were dating and when we were first married. After the kids came, I grew up and took on the responsible mommy/ adult role and he doesn't seem to understand why things have to "change". Imagine yourself a few years down the road with a new baby. You will be fighting him to grow up and help you with the baby at the same time as trying to get thru the newborn phase. It was HELL with our twins and pretty rough still with our son. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.