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How can I help her? LayLu 17 kids; Virginia 4007 posts
4th Apr '13

Sorry if this is a little scattered..



I recently found out that my grandma has been suffering from severe depression. She's not some crazy old lady, she's got a good head on her shoulders, but she's been hospitalized for depression before (long before I was born or any of the grandchildren were born). For about a year now she's had a 17 year old foreign exchange student staying with her, she thinks that might be adding to her stress and is sending her to another family. While I'm sad to see her go, I'm glad she's at least eliminating something that could be making her worse. She also got into a car accident about a month ago, which I think may have also added to the depression (she's okay, her car just got messed up pretty bad). I was talking to my aunt the other day and she said my grandma has told her that she has asked God to take her.. she's a very religious Catholic, and I think if it wasn't for her strong religious beliefs she would have taken her own life by now.



I feel terrible, I haven't been the greatest granddaughter in the world. I keep in touch with her, see her on holidays, but I know I could call more often.. and I'm really going to try now that I know how depressed she's been. I just don't know what I could do for her. I'm 29 weeks pregnant, and once LO gets here I definitely plan on bringing her by as often as possible in hopes of cheering her up.. but what can I do until then? I call her after my appointments to keep her updated and ask how she's doing, but I don't know what else I could do. My cousin bought her flowers the other day and told her they were from all of the grandchildren and she was so happy she cried.. I just wish there was more I could do for her. Any ideas?

Momma x 2 18 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 1370 posts
4th Apr '13

Make time to visit her and spend some face to face time with her. Maybe set a date each week or month (as often as you can) to do something....like bingo or whatever hobbies she might like.

ρiηkie ρie 3 kids; 3 angel babies; Kentucky 21902 posts
4th Apr '13

First and foremost you should really encourage her to get help if you think she might be having thoughts of suicide. If she won't talk to a therapist, I know a lot of the older generation is iffy about them, maybe she could talk to her priest or someone at her church.



Aside from that, just be there for her. Visit and try to get her out of the house as much as you can. Is she lonely? Maybe getting a pet of some variety would help.

TrixieGirl Due July 4; 1 child; Maryland 1175 posts
4th Apr '13

I would ask her out to lunch or to do something together. Even if you saw her once a month or every other month, that would probably make her feel really good. I like to just randomly send greeting cards to my family to let them know I am thinking about them. Its always fun to get mail when you are not expecting it. I like to mail little gifts here and there too. Small gifts are always such a fun surprise. One time my aunt mailed me some christmast cookies because I was so sick and missed christmas and I had no idea they were coming. It was the best surprise and it totally made my day. It just so happened that I was having a really crummy day that day too.

***Breezie*** 2 kids; Vancouver, Washington 299 posts
4th Apr '13

Go over and make her dinner, ask her out to lunch, or shopping for baby clothes/things that you need. Anything! I am sure she will enjoy whatever you guys do!

LayLu 17 kids; Virginia 4007 posts
4th Apr '13

Thanks ladies! I'll definitely keep these ideas in mind.



She's not an animal lover so I don't see her getting a pet (she hates my dog). She's very active in her church, so I know that keeps her busy. And she has been seeing a doctor for a while now.. but the doctor she sees is very old and we think she may need to switch doctors (no offense to him, but we think a fresh pair of eyes might be able to prescribe her something that'll help more because what she's on now obviously isn't helping).



I have an ultrasound next week, I think I'm going to call her and ask if she'd like me to pick her up and take her with me. I'm also a big scrapbooker.. I was thinking maybe I could make a scrapbook page with pictures of me and her and frame it. I bet she'd love it..

Elena Gilbert 4 kids; La Center, KY, United States 2730 posts
4th Apr '13

Go over take her out to dinner and that. go spend the day with her. little things like that matter the most, maybe invite her to an ultrasound with you.. If you can.

LayLu 17 kids; Virginia 4007 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting Elena Gilbert:" Go over take her out to dinner and that. go spend the day with her. little things like that matter the most, maybe invite her to an ultrasound with you.. If you can."


Yeah, I have an ultrasound next week and I'm off that day so I think I'm going to invite her to come with and ask if she'd want to grab lunch afterwards. :)

Elena Gilbert 4 kids; La Center, KY, United States 2730 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting LayLu:" Yeah, I have an ultrasound next week and I'm off that day so I think I'm going to invite her to come with and ask if she'd want to grab lunch afterwards. :)"


aww yay. im sure she will enjoy it!

LayLu 17 kids; Virginia 4007 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting Elena Gilbert:" aww yay. im sure she will enjoy it!"


And I'm going to get crafty tonight and make a scrapbook page with pictures of us and get a frame for it. :)

Elena Gilbert 4 kids; La Center, KY, United States 2730 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting LayLu:" And I'm going to get crafty tonight and make a scrapbook page with pictures of us and get a frame for it. :)"


i bet it will be super cute and she will love it!