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Juliette 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Olive Branch, MS, United States 3015 posts
4th Apr '13

I can't tell him how I feel... I was snooping. He told me I could though... last time. So now anytime he leaves his phone laying somewhere I look. It was just making me feel better. Until this morning.



I've begged him to take me to a mental institution but he wont. We have nobody to watch the kids so he can work. He doesn't understand how bad this is. I don't know how to get through to him.

user banned 2 kids; Georgia 24891 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting Juliette:" I can't tell him how I feel... I was snooping. He told me I could though... last time. So now anytime ... [snip!] ... We have nobody to watch the kids so he can work. He doesn't understand how bad this is. I don't know how to get through to him."


Have you told him about wanting to kill yourself? Have you talked about what you are actually feeling?
You don't need to be institutionalized, you just need a little help. Depression can be a physiological thing and requires medication to get better, there is nothing wrong with that.

Juliette 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Olive Branch, MS, United States 3015 posts
4th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting A❤T=P&W:</b>" Have you told him about wanting to kill yourself? Have you talked about what you are actually feeling? ... [snip!] ... a little help. Depression can be a physiological thing and requires medication to get better, there is nothing wrong with that."</blockquote>




Yea. I've had depression since middle school. But nobody has ever taken me seriously. I've attempted suicide twice. And still nobody believes me. They act like I'm just a drama queen and want attention. I don't want attention though. I want help. But if I ask for help I'm asking for too much. I've needed my damn wisdom teeth removed for 4 years and have yet to get a sitter so I van go to the dentist. I want to die the ONLY thing stopping me at this point is my kids. Idk what to do anymore. I feel so trapped and alone.

Moses. Due October 27; 3 kids; Texas 16003 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting Juliette:" I can't tell him how I feel... I was snooping. He told me I could though... last time. So now anytime ... [snip!] ... We have nobody to watch the kids so he can work. He doesn't understand how bad this is. I don't know how to get through to him."


You don't need to be in an institution but you DO need help outside of you or him. Start with your OB. Your littlest isn't even 6 weeks, right? When is your next check up with your OB? Call and ask if you can get in sooner and speak with them about what you are feeling. It's absolutely normal and 100% ok, do NOT feel ashamed to speak with them openly about what you feel you need. They will direct you in the right path.

Juliette 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Olive Branch, MS, United States 3015 posts
4th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Moses.:</b>" You don't need to be in an institution but you DO need help outside of you or him. Start with your ... [snip!] ... 100% ok, do NOT feel ashamed to speak with them openly about what you feel you need. They will direct you in the right path. "</blockquote>



I can't get a sitter to go to the doctor.

Moses. Due October 27; 3 kids; Texas 16003 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting Juliette:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Moses.:</b>" You don't need to be in an institution but you ... [snip!] ... you feel you need. They will direct you in the right path. "</blockquote> I can't get a sitter to go to the doctor."


Take them in tow! It's an OB, they should be well used to children being in the office. If not, call around til you find a child friendly OB. I know it's soooo much easier to do things without the littles, but you need to put yourself first. Or hell, schedule an appointment for a few weeks out and tell DH he needs to take a day off for you to get in to the doctor. It's important, and your health is actually top priority, they all depend on you. YOU need to be better to ensure them a healthy life.

Juliette 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Olive Branch, MS, United States 3015 posts
4th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Moses.:</b>" Take them in tow! It's an OB, they should be well used to children being in the office. If not, call ... [snip!] ... and your health is actually top priority, they all depend on you. YOU need to be better to ensure them a healthy life. "</blockquote>




They don't listen to me at all and that's the only on I can go to. And I'm always there ay least 5 hours. It would be like putting myself in a gas chamber

Juliette 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Olive Branch, MS, United States 3015 posts
4th Apr '13

Why does nobody understand that I need help? Even when I had my youngest 2 people only babysit one night.

Moses. Due October 27; 3 kids; Texas 16003 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting Juliette:" Why does nobody understand that I need help? Even when I had my youngest 2 people only babysit one night."


Dude, your husband, MAKE him watch them. He is your partner, and their dad, he should be find taking a day off so you can take care of you.

Rebekah Garden x3 Due October 5 (boy); 33 kids; Fall River, Massachusetts 5223 posts
4th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Juliette:</b>" Why does nobody understand that I need help? Even when I had my youngest 2 people only babysit one night."</blockquote>




Honestly at this point just schedule an appointment with a counselor and take the kids. I am sorry you are feeling this way. Do you have any friends that will maybe come with you and attend to the older two in the waiting room? Or any family that would watch at all?

user banned (boy); 2 kids; Fucking, Austria 36337 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting Juliette:" Why does nobody understand that I need help? Even when I had my youngest 2 people only babysit one night."


if this is life and death, fight for it.



Make your husband listen to you. Make him watch your kids.

♥♬♡ 2 kids; Pennsylvania 10325 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting Juliette:" Why does nobody understand that I need help? Even when I had my youngest 2 people only babysit one night."



I use to take my kids with me, try doing the same...and make him come too..make it a family thing. Then maybe he will stay home with the kid so you can tlak to them alone...if you feel like you are at the end and feel like you're gonna do something stupid PM me..hell ill give you my cell so you can text me im not kidding.

Juliette 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Olive Branch, MS, United States 3015 posts
5th Apr '13

Im so sorry about yesterday. My moods are all over the place lately. I have to pretend to be happy in front of people irl. I did accomplish one good thing yesterday. I got a job. 28 hours a week. Its nights and weekends. If you read my previous posts you know this is part of my plan. Once we have more money coming in my husband can take off work so I can go to thedoctor. I'm terrified to tell my husband I caught him. But he knows something is up.



The only thing that stopped me yesterday.was my kids. I don't want to leave them without a mom. Although I do secretly wish my husband would find somebody who can do better for him and who loves my kids and would do better for them. That way I could die and know they were okay.



My expectations of what a marriage should be is apparently way too high. Maybe my parents are just weird. But I grew up watching them. They weren't perfect but they do have an amazing marriage. That's what I want. My dad never watched porn. We didn't have internet and I'm nosey. (Found toys but never any porn) idk.



Thank you all for the support. It helps to know somebody cares.

user banned (boy); 2 kids; Fucking, Austria 36337 posts
5th Apr '13
Quoting Juliette:" ."


I hope you realized what I said I was going to do was with good intentions.



I am glad to hear you got the job. :)

Juliette 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Olive Branch, MS, United States 3015 posts
5th Apr '13

I just went through and finished reading all of this.



1 I told my husband BEFORE we started DATING that I couldn't be with someone who watched porn. It's not like we got married and I caught him and told him he couldn't. He KNOWS how it makes me feel! I compromised on many things and he didn't hold up yo his end.



2 he has pictures I have sent him. I've told him to video us. But he still looks at porn.



3 it does interfere with our sex life. How am I suppose to be in the mood when all I can think about is him jacking off to pictures of other girls b**bs? It's not like he is watching videos so its not just the act of sex or for ideas. Its pictures of other girls b**bs.