Quoting Juliette:" I just went through and finished reading all of this. 1 I told my husband BEFORE we started DATING that ... [snip!] ... boobs? It's not like he is watching videos so its not just the act of sex or for ideas. Its pictures of other girls boobs."
I understand, you're right, he should be considerate of your feelings...if he wanted to look at porn and masturbate, he should have not agreed that he would not.
I think porn is gross too not gonna lie...I would not care if DH went off by himself, and watched it...but don't ever expect me to get into that shit.
I really hope this job helps you, maybe getting out and meeting new people will help you. I would hate to hear of another member hurting themselves :/ I found my mom dead when I was 12, I will never get that picture out of my head, no matter how hard I try...I went through a lot dealing with her death...I struggled with who I was, I started using drugs and running the streets at a very young age...by the time I was 18 I was a HUGE scum bag...I had no emotion, no feelings, I didn't care about myself or anyone else...all I wanted to do was rob people and steal and party and get high. Thankfully one day I told myself, If I do not get out of here, im gonna end up dead or in prison..so I left my home state...from there I stopped using drugs since I could not find any. I traveled around for awhile till I met DH...we had kids and my whole world changed. I am now almost 5 years clean! I have a 3 year old and 4 month old I would do anything for...I REFUSE to let my kids live the life I lived..I want the best for them and whats best for them is to have their mommy in their life and have their mommy setting a good example...
I promise you if you did hurt yourself...You will ruin them..regardless if your DH is there to raise them...trust me. Kids need their moms more then ANYONE! they would not understand, at first they would be sad and then it would turn into anger...why did she leave me? what did I do? did she love me enough? I use to ask myself these things...I use to think she faked her death to get better and would someday come and save me..she never did she never came back ever. Now this long later...It has turned into anger...I am soo so mad at her for not giving a shit enough about me to get better...I love and miss her but I AM PISSED off at her for not sticking around and making me suffer for her being selfish!
please just come back and read what I said if you feel like doing it...your kids are younger then I was they would be more confused :( screaming for mommy who would never be coming back..MY BIGGEST FEAR! besides my kids dying...is me dying on them...I use to be really scared of death for selfish reasons! now it all has to do with my kids...they would be devastated! it makes me so scared to think about...I could not fathom how sad they would be. I try not to picture what they would do or how they would react, but its hard because of what I went through its like my mind forces me to go there.
I hope you get the help you need, I hope you and your husband can work things out, and I hope you don't leave your kids until you're and old women, and they are grown with grand children <3 if you need me PM me anytime.
Quoting ℳary ℐane:" if this is life and death, fight for it. Make your husband listen to you. Make him watch your kids. "
& there's no "hours" that a hospital is open. As soon as your husband gets home from work, tell him you need to go somewhere, and then just leave. check yourself in.
Quoting Juliette:" I am so overloaded with emotion right now. My husband knows I don't like porn he knows I HATE it. He ... [snip!] ... It's not something I can just get.over and obviously he isn't going to stop. I don't want to leave but I'm so sick of it. :("
You just need to get over it basically. He obviously likes it, and you are just making it worse thinking he is going to stop. You build up a fantasy in your mind, then get crushed when it comes tumbling down. Have you considered joining him watching it, and doing stuff for him? Maybe that will help you with this.
<blockquote><b>Quoting Juliette:</b>" I just went through and finished reading all of this. 1 I told my husband BEFORE we started DATING that ... [snip!] ... boobs? It's not like he is watching videos so its not just the act of sex or for ideas. Its pictures of other girls boobs."</blockquote>
Guys are weird and like to fantasize. I had self esteem issues awhile back & the same things use to make me fly off the handle. It's normal for guys to do this though, they will say they won't but bottom line is they will. Don't look through his phone anymore. Honestly don't. I never look through my guys, i know he's not texting or talking to other girls or sneaking off to meet them so he's not cheating. I know these words aren't exactly comforting...but it's just reality. I wanted the same thing before...a guy I could trust to not look at other girls or porn. But he still treats me good, he doesn't oogle them all the time or enough to interfere with our relationship & he still makes me feel good so I learned to just let it go. My issues with it were also tied to depression & "trauma" of being in an abusive relationship before. The whole "try watching it" thing would literally make me vomit. I went to therapy & got help for it & learned how to increase my self esteem.
I read most of this thread & know you have said you don't have much help but can you try taking the kids with you to an appointment? If things are that bad? Bring them some games or earphones so they don't have to listen? Or sit down & talk to your SO very seriously & drill it into his head that he needs to watch the kids & give time to talk to someone? Feeling like that if not fair to you or your kids & I really hope you can get the help you need.
<blockquote><b>Quoting JiLLiAN.:</b>" & there's no "hours" that a hospital is open. As soon as your husband gets home from work, tell him you need to go somewhere, and then just leave. check yourself in."</blockquote>
I don't understand why this is such a hard concept for women to understand but...
Porn has absolutely nothing to do with you. He's not doing it because the women are hotter and he's not doing it because the boobs are bigger. Men can't just think of a fantasy and masturbate like we can. Women tend to enjoy literotica because writing tends to pull in emotion. Men enjoy pictures and movies because they are very visual creatures. My husband doesn't even pay much attention to what the women look like; he's just in it for something to look at while he gets off.
Masturbation is natural and porn is normal; it's been around since the cavemen. Porn is no reflection on you. If he truly wanted something better or more attractive, he'd go have an affair.
weQuoting Moses.:" Calm down, killer. Everyone has their own opinions on porn. No need to get all hot and bothered like that lol"
well i get that there really is no point in getting mad at what one ignorant person says, it just really bothered me that people are downing others who dont agree with their SO's watching porn, they made a big deal about it, and im just thinking exaclty what you said, EVERYONE has their OWN individual opinion on wether they watch porn or if they are happy with their men watching it!
Quoting Saffy the Dragon Slayer:" Watching other women masturbate is nice in its way. Though you seem to fit the demographic of people that find masturbation wrong and don't do it."
i dont find it wrong at all, i just never found a way to make it feel good for me, i never got down to actually explore and all that good stuff, its not like i tried it and feel like oh no , that is so wrong to do, thats not me.. i just never got that in depth with myself to actually get in the mood and masturbate.. im just clueless with self masturbating so therefore i dont do it. so no im not a prude women who thinks all sex a nd everthing is wrong..