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I really need advice... Fhuck. 2 kids; North Carolina 3339 posts
4th Apr '13

Long story short, I've been friends with a girl, we'll call her "Pam" for a few years now. We've never been really close, but a few months ago we started hanging out quite a bit. She's recently married, too, but I've never met her husband.
Anywhoo, her Husband has been deployed for six months and is set to come home in June. She literally, all of a sudden, just dropped off the grid. She's been ignoring me and our mutual friends, and today she tells me why.
Apparently, she's been sleeping with some guy she just met too long ago. To make matters worse, he's been living with her for the past month until he left today to go home to New Mexico (he just got out of the military). This girl does not have a job, and she doesn't have any reason not to have one (no kids, illness, etc.,) So she's been laying around her house with some guy, while her husband is deployed and basically paying for her and her fuck buddy to do absolutely nothing all day and live comfortably. And yesterday, the two of them went and got matching tattoos. Wtf?! You don't have money to come hang out with your friends, but you can get tattoos?
Guys, what do I do? Should I tell her Husband? I really feel like it's not my place and that karma will eat me up and spit me out, but I feel so sorry for him. And if it were me, I would want to know.
Please just give helpful advice. What would you do?

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
4th Apr '13

If you don't even know him, I'd stay out of it.
But as her friend, if it were me, I'd urge her to come clean. That's just fucking nasty.

Blythe. 1 child; Indiana 22368 posts
4th Apr '13

No I wouldn't tell her husband. I would leave her alone and stay out of it

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14113 posts
4th Apr '13

She wouldn't be my friend anymore, that's for sure. But I wouldn't say anything. Way too much drama for me.

.Jezebel. 1 child; Sumter, South Carolina 9452 posts
4th Apr '13

Idk, that's a tricky situation.



If its bothering you that badly, tell him. As long as you are prepared for what will happen after the fact.

Fhuck. 2 kids; North Carolina 3339 posts
4th Apr '13

I don't think I'm going to tell him.
I just logged onto Instagram and saw that she's been posting pictures of them in bed together, and of their matching tattoos. He'll find out soon enough from someone else.
It's just a shitty situation.

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting Fhuck.:" I don't think I'm going to tell him. I just logged onto Instagram and saw that she's been posting pictures ... [snip!] ... in bed together, and of their matching tattoos. He'll find out soon enough from someone else. It's just a shitty situation."


That's so sad, uck.

Blythe. 1 child; Indiana 22368 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting Fhuck.:" I don't think I'm going to tell him. I just logged onto Instagram and saw that she's been posting pictures ... [snip!] ... in bed together, and of their matching tattoos. He'll find out soon enough from someone else. It's just a shitty situation."


Is she really married?

Elle&Cole 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Rio Rancho, NM, United States 23736 posts
4th Apr '13

Ew that's so fucked up

*A&N's Mama* 2 kids; Halifax, Nova Scotia 4627 posts
4th Apr '13

Wtf is wrong with some of these army wives that can't keep their legs closed?! That's disgusting. I hope she doesn't give him any STI's & he finds out soon. What a cunt

K and N TTC since Nov 2012; 2 kids; Denver City, Texas 1890 posts
4th Apr '13

O0oi what a tramp!!! personally this pisses me off, because my slut face ex-SIL did the same thing to my little brother! except SHE got pregnant, s0 he found out anyway. I DID tell him what she was doing, and he didn't believe me until he found out she was pregnant... that situation is different because it was my Brother... I would rat her out. Tell her hubs, he deserves to know, but wait til he comes back. And if I were you, I would tell him right in front of her, that way he can see her initial reaction in front of her accuser. No time to make up lies. That's just wrong.

Isabel Leigh's Mommy 17 kids; Scott, Louisiana 138 posts
4th Apr '13

It's not your place to tell the husband. Honestly I would leave it alone and not get involved and just drop her as a friend. She sounds like a horrible person!!

Fhuck. 2 kids; North Carolina 3339 posts
4th Apr '13
eQuoting Blythe.:" Is she really married?"


Yes, I'm the only friend that hasn't met him. Everyone else says he treats her like a queen. He seems really nice. Which is why this sucks :/

K and N TTC since Nov 2012; 2 kids; Denver City, Texas 1890 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting *A&N's Mama*:" Wtf is wrong with some of these army wives that can't keep their legs closed?! That's disgusting. I hope she doesn't give him any STI's & he finds out soon. What a cunt"


This! All wives (and husbands) should remain faithful, but in my opinion when you take on the roll as an army wife that goes double for you. How can you betray a man that you "love" when he's fighting for our country?? Give me his info, OP, I'll tell him.

Mum to a Monster TTC since Jan 2014; 1 child; 5 angel babies; Colorado 11565 posts
4th Apr '13

More than likely he will find out if he doesn't already know. You would be surprised how well these guys network with some of their guys back home. I had one guy who came to my old townhouse complex looking for another Soldier who had been screwing his Battle-buddies wife while he was deployed. two weeks later 15 guys who just got home converged on my complex and beat the piss out of this guy in front of his wife and kids who were unaware of it too.