Reply
Domestic Violence ripped my family apart BG Secrets Arizona 4906 posts
4th Apr '13

Me and my husband got married a few months ago and things have changed. The worst issue was a few days ago when he spit on me. When I defended myself he strangled me and threw me into the wall. He spit on me because I told him not to yell at our two year old. Well his step son. I called 911, they met me at the hospital, they took the police report, I did what they told me to do, I filed the warrant for his arrest and his restraining order. They said to talk the money and open my own account I did. I've done everything the victim advocates told me to, everything the police told me to. He is military, they told me I would be okay me and my son wouldn't suffer.
But now I am so lonely. I miss him so much I don't know why I miss him so much when he hurt me but I love him and it hurts even more for him to not be here. I don't know what to do...
I love my son more then anything and I know that first and foremost I must think of him. While I was in the ER a friend watched him and when he ran into my arms when I picked him up it was a feeling that I would never want to take away from him or myself.



It's just so hard and I have tried to talk to the victim advocates but I get so embarrassed about crying in front of strangers.
His command keeps asking if I am sure this can't be worked out and if I am sure I want a divorce. I do so well at keeping my composure in front of them and saying yes that's what I want but then behind closed doors I break down. I just don't know what to do. I am so embarrassed.

user banned 2 kids; New York 34017 posts
4th Apr '13

It's hard but you need to leave. You can't let a man (or anyone) put his hands on you. It's not going to stop. You could end up killed.

iLL-Legal Unicorn Alien 3 kids; New York, TX, United States 37137 posts
4th Apr '13

I am so so sorry you're in this situation.
Do you know about Military1Source?

BG Secrets Arizona 4906 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting iLL-Legal Unicorn Alien:" I am so so sorry you're in this situation. Do you know about Military1Source?"


ACS gave me information about it yesterday. I am just so terrified my son will be taken away from me.

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36477 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting JiLLiAN.:" It's hard but you need to leave. You can't let a man (or anyone) put his hands on you. It's not going to stop. You could end up killed."

This!



Sweetie think about yourself and your son. I know it is hard. But you could be killed if you go back there. This is coming from someone that has been has in the same place you are.

homes cool 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Indiana 60938 posts
4th Apr '13

Good for you. You took a stand against him, that makes you strong!! You've taken the first step, you CAN keep going! <3 Military1Source is a great organization, as someone else mentioned. I am so sorry you're dealing with this, but don't underestimate your strength.

mommakatof3 Due September 15; 3 kids; 2 angel babies; DeRidder, Louisiana 458 posts
4th Apr '13

You did the right thing. Ur a very smart woman most dont leave and gets worse over time. He probably would of hurt ur son also if u stayed. Good luck be strong for ur son. Just because he is gone doesn't mean u will be alone forever you will find a real man down the road

iLL-Legal Unicorn Alien 3 kids; New York, TX, United States 37137 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting BG Secrets:" ACS gave me information about it yesterday. I am just so terrified my son will be taken away from me."


They have excellent resources including counseling, I contacted them (for different reasons) and they were extremely helpful. If you want to PM I can see if you're stationed anywhere where I have friends and see if they have any information that might help you. I'm prior service and so is my husband and I have a lot of friends that are still in or are military spouses. Even if you just need someone to talk, please feel free to message me.

BG Secrets Arizona 4906 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting Yurvette [♥]:" This! Sweetie think about yourself and your son. I know it is hard. But you could be killed if you go back there. This is coming from someone that has been has in the same place you are. "


It's just so hard. I've been crying for days. I am so upset. I'm pregnant and it just makes the situation worse because I can't eat, I can't sleep. I've been trying to put my concentration into work but I literally broke down and cried in my managers arms. I'm just so thankful they understand.

BG Secrets Arizona 4906 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting grace life:" Good for you. You took a stand against him, that makes you strong!! You've taken the first step, you ... [snip!] ... great organization, as someone else mentioned. I am so sorry you're dealing with this, but don't underestimate your strength. "


I'm just praying and hoping that this is a stage that I will get over, that soon I won't cry everyday. My body hurts so bad. I can't raise my arms in the air. I get sad and wish he was here to take care of me then I remember he did this to me....

LIVE.OUT.LOUD Due July 11 (boy); 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Lawrenceville, Georgia 1624 posts
4th Apr '13

I'm so sorry momma! I was in an extremely abusive relationship for 2 years. I'm so glad you got away from that situation. I know it hurts at first but it gets easier. Trust me. If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me. I would be more than happy to help in any way I can! Stay strong momma!

Autumn Whisper 1 child; Utah 9977 posts
4th Apr '13

Be strong, and do what you need to do. And in those times when your strength is failing, and it will waiver at times, look at your son and think of your unborn baby and think:

"Do I want my children to think this is what a relationship is supposed to be?"

You are doing it for you, but you are doing it for them, too.

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36477 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting BG Secrets:" It's just so hard. I've been crying for days. I am so upset. I'm pregnant and it just makes the situation ... [snip!] ... put my concentration into work but I literally broke down and cried in my managers arms. I'm just so thankful they understand."


There will be more tears coming out of your eyes, but they will slow down. <3 I am glad they understand! Its hard, but its going to be for the best!

BG Secrets Arizona 4906 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting Yurvette [♥]:" There will be more tears coming out of your eyes, but they will slow down. <3 I am glad they understand! Its hard, but its going to be for the best! "

I honestly think he has PTSD, and I just feel so bad, like I should have tried to get him into therapy or there is something I could have done.

BG Secrets Arizona 4906 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting Autumn Whisper:" Be strong, and do what you need to do. And in those times when your strength is failing, and it will ... [snip!] ... to think this is what a relationship is supposed to be?" You are doing it for you, but you are doing it for them, too."


True, I just don't know how I am going to do it alone.