Reply
GONE* Summer+[two] 2 kids; Louisiana 727 posts
4th Apr '13

DELETED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Klaus 2 kids; Mississippi 24186 posts
4th Apr '13

I fully believe that marital counseling can help if both parties are open to it and are willing to work on themselves for the sake of their relationship. Good luck,, I hope you can be happy whichever way it works out for you!

Summer+[two] 2 kids; Louisiana 727 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting Klaus:" I fully believe that marital counseling can help if both parties are open to it and are willing to work ... [snip!] ... work on themselves for the sake of their relationship. Good luck,, I hope you can be happy whichever way it works out for you!"


thank you! We both just have issues and i feel like it has a great deal to do with what happened and then after i left its just made more issues ya know? i feel like without it we will never get through it.

Bunny Belly Due August 3; 1 child; Spring Hill, Florida 1234 posts
4th Apr '13

I'm another counseling advocate but, as already said, NOTHING will happen if you both aren't willing to work on it, and admit that you both have problems (I think that can be a hard thing to do sometimes!)

Summer+[two] 2 kids; Louisiana 727 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting Bunny Belly:" I'm another counseling advocate but, as already said, NOTHING will happen if you both aren't willing ... [snip!] ... both aren't willing to work on it, and admit that you both have problems (I think that can be a hard thing to do sometimes!)"


yea thats def hard. we are both seeing other people so it makes it even worse. idk if he even wants to make it work. he says he does but then says he doesnt know so im just going to give it time.

Bunny Belly Due August 3; 1 child; Spring Hill, Florida 1234 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting Summer+[two]:" yea thats def hard. we are both seeing other people so it makes it even worse. idk if he even wants to make it work. he says he does but then says he doesnt know so im just going to give it time."


I don't think it's possible to make it work, when you're both giving someone else the affection, attention, and effort to someone else.... not trying to be hateful, but I truly don't believe it's possible to hold on to more than one relationship at a time, and the marriage will require a great deal more than anything more.



It's both of your jobs to figure it out, and he has to too- if you both agree, the other people need to go bye-bye, COMPLETELY!



Can't tell Hubby and I have had issues, can ya? ;)

Summer+[two] 2 kids; Louisiana 727 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting Bunny Belly:" I don't think it's possible to make it work, when you're both giving someone else the affection, attention, ... [snip!] ... to too- if you both agree, the other people need to go bye-bye, COMPLETELY! Can't tell Hubby and I have had issues, can ya? ;)"

I completely agree. My bf is amazing and id feel bad for hurting him but I built a family with my husband and if he for real wanted to fix it, I would break it off completely. I just feel like he needs to figure out his feelings. I know I hurt him and I messed up. I'm willing to admit that, but I left for a reason and when he admits we need to fix the problems I am all for giving it my utmost attention. I'd never stay with someone while trying to fix my marriage.



We got together at 15 and I just felt like our relationship sucked, but now I realize we just needed help. I now realize that we had something special.



I definitely feel you on the problems. I wish I hadnt left, but hindsights always 20/20 lol

Bunny Belly Due August 3; 1 child; Spring Hill, Florida 1234 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting Summer+[two]:" I completely agree. My bf is amazing and id feel bad for hurting him but I built a family with my husband ... [snip!] ... that we had something special. I definitely feel you on the problems. I wish I hadnt left, but hindsights always 20/20 lol"


Does your boyfriend know that you're going back and forth on this? Also, if you don't mind sharing, what were the main issues?



My husband and I met when I was 14, and we got married when I was 17.... I DO believe that it causes quite a few problems with young couples- you restrict yourself from some things, and you also have alot more growing to do.



However, you have the opportunity to grow TOGETHER, and help one another thrive. I believe that if you can work through these difficulties and forgive, it makes your bond stronger.



Again, this could be just one of those things I want to believe lol

Summer+[two] 2 kids; Louisiana 727 posts
4th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Bunny Belly:</b>" Does your boyfriend know that you're going back and forth on this? Also, if you don't mind sharing, ... [snip!] ... difficulties and forgive, it makes your bond stronger. Again, this could be just one of those things I want to believe lol"</blockquote>




Yea I completely agree. I feel like we grew up together and thats something special lots of people dont have ya know. We got married when I was 16.



He started pipelining about 2 years or so ago and we started traveling and im so used to being around my family. So id have to spend all day alone w my kids in a camper and I got so lonely and depressed after I had my second. Then he worked so much and just never wanted to do anything w me. I was so attached to him.and it went from me depending on him to everything changing so fast it was unreal and I just feel like I have a lot of issues due to that. He changed a lot and we just started fighting like crazy. Id talk ab counseling but there qas no way because he always worked and we had no babysitters so far away. Now our issuws would have to be with me leaving and jealousy and not getting over the betrayal and stuff bc before I left he was my first and only everything ya know. I think we def need counseling though because I want my best friend and family back even though itll never be like it was.

Bunny Belly Due August 3; 1 child; Spring Hill, Florida 1234 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting Summer+[two]:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Bunny Belly:</b>" Does your boyfriend know that you're going ... [snip!] ... I think we def need counseling though because I want my best friend and family back even though itll never be like it was."


It never is "the same way", but that might not be a bad thing....



What my husband and I got out of it, was the fact that I became more independent, and he respected it. He realized that I didn't NEED him, and that I WANTED him- so he had to step the hell up :P And it made me see what a good, dedicated father he was, and made me love him for the fact that even though we weren't together, he was still compassionate.



There are still ALOT of things we have to work through (I'm the worst about not forgiving) but you learn to get through it, assuming you want to!

Summer+[two] 2 kids; Louisiana 727 posts
4th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Bunny Belly:</b>" It never is "the same way", but that might not be a bad thing.... What my husband and I got out of ... [snip!] ... of things we have to work through (I'm the worst about not forgiving) but you learn to get through it, assuming you want to!"</blockquote>



Yea see he is never around due to his job and his new girlfriend and her kid stay with him :/ hes not happy though and tells me how much he misses me I just think hes scared ill do it again. I hope he decides soon because idk im just hurting and I hope he decides to try to make this work. My kids miss us being a family so bad.

Summer+[two] 2 kids; Louisiana 727 posts
4th Apr '13

Repost...............

Bunny Belly Due August 3; 1 child; Spring Hill, Florida 1234 posts
4th Apr '13
Quoting Summer+[two]:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Bunny Belly:</b>" It never is "the same way", but that might ... [snip!] ... decides soon because idk im just hurting and I hope he decides to try to make this work. My kids miss us being a family so bad."


It seems a bit fishy.... does he spend much time with your kids? Having another child in the mix makes it difficult too

Summer+[two] 2 kids; Louisiana 727 posts
5th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Bunny Belly:</b>" It seems a bit fishy.... does he spend much time with your kids? Having another child in the mix makes it difficult too"</blockquote>




Yea idk if its even worth it. He only sees my kids like a couple days a month :/ I think its just when I see him it brings up all the hurt :/ idk if hed ever be willing to put the effort needed for us to be a healthy family. Maybe its just time to move on:/ its so much harder than people make ir seem though

Bunny Belly Due August 3; 1 child; Spring Hill, Florida 1234 posts
5th Apr '13
Quoting Summer+[two]:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Bunny Belly:</b>" It seems a bit fishy.... does he spend much ... [snip!] ... needed for us to be a healthy family. Maybe its just time to move on:/ its so much harder than people make ir seem though"


Either way, it sucks! I really hope things work out in the proper way, though....



If you need someone to talk to, you're more than welcome to get ahold of me!