PLEASE DONT QUOTE!
My step daughter has on/off had problems with pooping her pants. It has crossed my mind that maybe there was some sort of sexual abuse going on. This has always been calmed by her Psychologist telling me she has never been given any reason from K to think that.
We havent had any "poop" issues in awhile (I want to say 6 weeks? Maybe a little less) and it has been great! I have even started washing her clothes again since they arnt covered in poop. Tonight I go in to ask her about dirty clothes only to find a hidden pair of poopy undies, she was clearly trying to hide. She has also been defiant, not listening well, and super tired.
Normally transitions from her moms arnt great, and take a couple days to adjust back, but this is the first time in a while (she stayed for 7 days thanks to spring break) she has come back and pooped in her underwear. Last time she started pooping in her underwear after she stopped for a while was Christmas vacation which was a 9 day time span. I dont think anything is happening at her moms, but when her mom takes her to her grandparents house something is happening. Christmas week she spent the entire time at her grandparents house (9 days). During spring break I know she was there 3/4 days, and she hasnt come back to being herself yet and she has been home since friday..
I really hope I am just jumping to conclusions and nothing is wrong, but its just too weird for me to think she hasnt pooped in her underwear in a decent amount of time and suddenly after she sees these people she is.
Are you step mom? I would be having an actual doctor look into it! Something is going on.
Can you get a 2nd opinion from another psychologist? Have her checked out by a dr as well.
The idea of this breaks my heart :/ Have you spoken with DH about this?
I'm by no means a specialist, but I know that urination causes some of these issues.... I had a friend with a daughter that acted similarly, and was being abused by an early teenage girl :/
Does she seem open with other things, or has she acted more private when this happened?
I have no idea, but the thought of it is incredibly sad and I hope you can get to the bottom of it. Good luck and good for you for advocating for her!
I agree with you something funky is going on. I would get a second opinoon. How you your SO feel about it??
Have you asked her if anyone has touched her inappropriately?
It could also be something physically wrong. I peed myself up until I was eight years old, had an overactive bladder. I also hid my peed undies due to embarrassment.
I would first talk with her, and make a doctors appointment.
Maybe I'm missing something but I don't understand the connection of pooping her pants = sexual abuse. Can you elaborate some?
My SO is aware, and when he first got custody (6 years ago) he though something might be going on, but couldnt say so. She has gotten more private with things and all of a sudden she LOVES to go to her moms, when previously she wanted nothing to do with her, and would scream and cry. She saw her Physiologist today and all she could tell me was someone was feeding her information, most likely her mom.
She goes back and forth on whether or not she wants to participate in sports and does not want to go. The statement "I dont get enough time with my dad" has suddenly come back with vengeance as well where is it hasnt been an issue in several months.
She is a sweet girl once she transitions back from her moms and listens 100x better then she did 6 months ago. But all of a sudden she is reverting back to her old ways.
Quoting Infamous May ♥:" Maybe I'm missing something but I don't understand the connection of pooping her pants = sexual abuse. Can you elaborate some?"
I am not either.
How old is she? I've been told that a good way to have a child open up, is to mention that anything covered by a bikini is her personal business, and no one should touch her there. I don't know how you can bring it up without it being awkward, but I hope that helps?
Whatever is going on, I can imagine she's extremely embarrassed. If she seems to be comfortable talking to you, maybe you can mention it quietly, and let her know that it's okay to tell you if she's had an accident, that you want to help
No mostly because I dont want to feed her ideas if nothing is really going on. She is notorious for telling lies if she hears something from the tv or someone else.
Ive had more then one person tell me its a sign of sexual abuse. I for along time though she was being lazy and just not wiping, this was a full blown poop in her underwear and all she had to say was she cant hold her poop in anymore.
Quoting Coffee Milk:" :!: I am not either."
Really? It's very common for children who have been sexually abused to have bowel/bladder issues. They become ashamed of those body parts and do not know anymore how to (or want to) use them for their intended function. Basically, anyway, it obviously goes much deeper psychologically.
Then yes, I would talk to a doctor about it, and explain to her that you're making sure everything is okay. The doctor should be able to tell if there's any kind of misconduct.... hopefully it's just some sort of GI issue though :/