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poooooooof! user banned
6th Apr '13

ipoooooooof!

user banned 1 child; Bluefield, Virginia 1053 posts
6th Apr '13

anyone going to comment? :(

Andi+Andy=Marley+1 2 kids; Fredericksburg, Virginia 4564 posts
6th Apr '13

Is the military something you have thought about before? It's not something you should just jump into. If its something you have wanted to do, then do it. Someone has to provide. There are better jobs then fast food out there that don't drug test or even if he could just give it up long enough to pass a drug test....

JKBC♡ 2 kids; Windsor, PA, United States 9198 posts
6th Apr '13

Has he tried construction jobs? I know some will hire without drug testing, hell around me there are ones who've hired men straight out of jail and they can make a decent salary.

user banned 1 child; Bluefield, Virginia 1053 posts
6th Apr '13
Quoting Andi+Andy=Marley+1:" Is the military something you have thought about before? It's not something you should just jump into. ... [snip!] ... jobs then fast food out there that don't drug test or even if he could just give it up long enough to pass a drug test...."


I have been pondering if for a good year now.

sooletsunwind 1 child; Milwaukee, Wisconsin 1065 posts
6th Apr '13

I am not with BD and he's been in and out of DD's life and always saying he wants to do better, make things right etc but he's jobless now so I don't get child support. I lost my job because he didn't show up to watch DD and I was fired from my only income. I guess he attempted suicide the night before :roll: knowing that he was my only option to watch her since my dad had a church thing he had to go to (which BD offered to drive my dad to so because he didn't show up my dad had to find another ride..) So I understand your situation...it's tough having to be the responsible one. I would love to get one day away from DD to go "out" but I can't even find a reliable babysitter so I can go to SCHOOL. This is my last chance otherwise I can't go back for 2 years and with no financial aid so I HAVE to pass this semester and I haven't been to class in weeks :?...I feel down because BD hasn't taken her in a month and he is on and off drugs..I know he smokes weed a lot but he was doing heroin :x I am sick of not being able to do my homework and get to class, my car just broke down so I have no reliable transportation so I can go to job interviews which I doubt I would have a babysitter to GO to a job interview. I am stuck because if I had money I could PAY someone to watch her since I don't have any friends that will give me a ride and/or watch her. I've tried to talk to BD about how stressful my situation was and he doesn't give a damn so try to be happy that you have someone there with you...I think if you could have a talk with him about how important it is to make or break your future he might understand...if he's with you and your child for the long run then right now is the important time to start saving money and be a father that will make your child proud, instead of smoking pot and not being able to get the job you guys need to support your family. The military is a huuuge commitment and you shouldn't have to do that if all he wants to do is smoke pot that isn't fair at all:? because chances are if he is left to take care of your child all by himself things could go badly or maybe he will man up...either way he should man up now, so you don't have to be away from your family unless you really want to commit to 2-5 years away from them. I wish there was easy answers but communication is something that I wish I had and if your man is willing to listen and wants to help out, then keep talking to him about how his choices are going to affect the family's future...both of your choices do. You both have to be on the same page in order to function otherwise it will lead you down a path of hardships and resentment. Good luck

♥Mrs.Garcia 18 kids; Houston, Texas 13802 posts
6th Apr '13
Quoting Kyleigh'sMommy12:" I have been pondering if for a good year now. "


There is no turning back once you are in... you are in till your contract ends or something happens. It's a choice you should make level headed, no when you are mad at your SO. Mine was like that. We fought so much. But he's better now. He kinda had to grow up? How old is he? How old are you?

✿LilyBear09✿ 1 child; Oregon 5006 posts
6th Apr '13

Before I just up and joined the military, I would return the furniture and buy some bean bag chairs.. I know he doesn't want to, but if it helps pay the bills, just do it.. $300 a month is a lot.

user banned 1 child; Bluefield, Virginia 1053 posts
6th Apr '13
Quoting ✿LilyBear09✿:" Before I just up and joined the military, I would return the furniture and buy some bean bag chairs.. I know he doesn't want to, but if it helps pay the bills, just do it.. $300 a month is a lot."


i honestly want some bean bags, lol...:)

Bobber Due October 1; 1 child; Manitoba 137 posts
7th Apr '13

I would be livid if he lied to me about that, especially if he can't even get better than fast food. If you love being a SAHM you shouldn't have to leave & join the military because your boyfriend won't step up. I would return the furniture & tell him its his own damn fault he can't keep what he wants. If he wants it so bad he can stick to his word & get a better job. I don't mean to sound judgemental, believe me I have been in a situation like this before & I know its my easy. The father of my first child refused to step up & as a result I went back to work full time when my daughter was only 8 weeks old. My parents watched her because he was even too useless to do that. That's time I lost with her because he was too selfish to grow up & believe me to this day I still hate that I had to do that. You never get this time back with your kids, if your passionate about military than that's fine, but if your thinking about it just because your SO likes weed too much to get a better job than that's not cool. I don't have anything against smoking it either btw, but if you have to not do it to work than that's just the way it is. He should just try to understand that for the sake of his family.

user banned 1 child; Bluefield, Virginia 1053 posts
7th Apr '13

i completely understand where each and every one of you lovely women are coming from. I sat him down last night and talked to him in depth. I told him that because he is the one to make all the decisions, i made a few myself. I stopped smoking weed yesterday and I called aarons to come take back the things. He has PROMISED me that he is working on getting that better job because he doesnt want to lose his family, but all in all, i have heard this before. I am still trying after 14 failed attempts to get a job, whether it be full or part time. I want my daughter to grow up with nice things and to have EVERYTHING she needs. I appreciate all the advice that has been posted:) i am glad i can come here and talk to women who have been in situations like my own, it means i am not alone and people understand my reasoning and my problems.



-thank you, but keep posting if you'd like, advice is always wanted:D

Kelly-Ann Louise 1 child; 1 angel baby; Australia 834 posts
9th Apr '13

I have to be honest.
You sound like a very responsible young woman, who loves her family.
But marijuana is a drug, and can get you in trouble with the law, even CPS.
(I'm not saying it's bad, just illegal.)
Your SO needs to pull his head out of his arse and grow up.
He has a family now, and needs to support you, NOT HIS DRUG HABIT.
If he can't, then he needs to piss off and let you get yourself into a situation where you can provide a better life for your child without someone hanging around with druggies and wasting money that you NEED.

Bobber Due October 1; 1 child; Manitoba 137 posts
9th Apr '13
Quoting Kelly-Ann Louise:" I have to be honest. You sound like a very responsible young woman, who loves her family. But marijuana ... [snip!] ... you can provide a better life for your child without someone hanging around with druggies and wasting money that you NEED."


:!::!::!::!:

user banned 1 child; Bluefield, Virginia 1053 posts
9th Apr '13
Quoting Kelly-Ann Louise:" I have to be honest. You sound like a very responsible young woman, who loves her family. But marijuana ... [snip!] ... you can provide a better life for your child without someone hanging around with druggies and wasting money that you NEED."


sometimes i wish he would just tell me to leave sometimes...is that bad

Kelly-Ann Louise 1 child; 1 angel baby; Australia 834 posts
9th Apr '13
Quoting Kyleigh'sMommy12:" sometimes i wish he would just tell me to leave sometimes...is that bad"


Maybe you need to leave, even just for a little while, to show him that you are serious.
Maybe it will help him get his act together.