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Need Advice. Kelsie Lowe (Albrecht) 1 child; Saginaw, MI, United States 380 posts
7th Apr '13

Okayy so, My fiance and I have been together just under 10 months. We are getting married in July. When we got together he thought he had a child with someone else. Turns out it wasn't his. When we found out the whole family was devastated, including myself. I really loved that little boy it was such a joy seeing his smiling little face around here. Ever since then I have had baby fever really bad. I don't know what to do. I don't want to keep bringing the subject up because I know it's not something he wants right now because when we found out the baby wasn't his he asked that I promise not to bug him about having one until he was ready again. However we just went through a scare where I thought I was pregnant. Im on the pill but thats it. We don't ever use condoms. I was super excited, but then hurt when I found out I wasn't. And I think he was looking forward to because he said he had mixed emotions about it. Help!

user banned Due November 7 (boy); 1 child; Dayton, Ohio 26853 posts
7th Apr '13

Just wait a little while and bring it up again. You cannot make someone be ready

❀Sarah❀ 2 kids; Cocking, EU, Europe 124253 posts
7th Apr '13

What do you need help with?

Kelsie Lowe (Albrecht) 1 child; Saginaw, MI, United States 380 posts
7th Apr '13
Quoting Smartass *Preggo!*:" Just wait a little while and bring it up again. You cannot make someone be ready"


Yeaah I know. Im not trying to make him.

Housewife & Co 1 child; Washington, District of Columbia 600 posts
7th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ⚓ Sarah ⚓:</b>" What do you need help with?"</blockquote>




Exactly what I was wondering

Ronnie RadKat 4 kids; Arizona 22168 posts
7th Apr '13
Quoting ⚓ Sarah ⚓:" What do you need help with?"


!?

Severus Snape 2 kids; Tennessee 3550 posts
7th Apr '13

There's not much you can do besides be patient with him. If he's not ready then he's not ready. The more you mention it, the more likely he is to pull away. I know how hard it is to wait though. DH went back a forth for a while before he decided he was for sure ready. Good luck OP. Try to take this opportunity to do everything you know you couldn't do if you were pregnant.

loser mom Due June 24 (twins); 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Oslo, Norway, ,,, Europe 11235 posts
7th Apr '13

IMO, you should wait until HE brings it up again. Or at least until after you're married.

Christan_89 2 kids; Grapevine, Texas 8043 posts
7th Apr '13

This happened to my brother. His (now ex) wife got pregnant by someone else and didn't tell him until the baby was 8 months old. He was SUCH a wreck. You have to be patient with him. He is grieving the loss of a child right now. I know you might be ready to TTC, but you just have to let him grieve right now.

❀Sarah❀ 2 kids; Cocking, EU, Europe 124253 posts
7th Apr '13
Quoting loser mom:" IMO, you should wait until HE brings it up again. Or at least until after you're married."


:!::!:

Kelsie Lowe (Albrecht) 1 child; Saginaw, MI, United States 380 posts
7th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Lilly'smommy5:</b>" There's not much you can do besides be patient with him. If he's not ready then he's not ready. The more ... [snip!] ... for sure ready. Good luck OP. Try to take this opportunity to do everything you know you couldn't do if you were pregnant. "</blockquote>



Thanks =)

Kelsie Lowe (Albrecht) 1 child; Saginaw, MI, United States 380 posts
7th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Asher and Haddie's Mommy:</b>" This happened to my brother. His (now ex) wife got pregnant by someone else and didn't tell him until ... [snip!] ... He is grieving the loss of a child right now. I know you might be ready to TTC, but you just have to let him grieve right now. "</blockquote>




Its been a real rough road. She filed for child support and he fought back. The court issued and paid for the dna test which was the seconf week of dec and weren't suppose to be in for a month. We got the letter 2 days before Christmas. There was a 0% chance the baby was his.