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Not sure how to handle. Charla Thomas 1 child; Topeka, Kansas 75 posts
8th Apr '13

So My Guy and I have been together since my sophomore year in HS (6 1/2 years) we now have an 8 month old son. Sometimes I feel like I must be a single parent with extra tasks. I do not work, and at the moment neither does my BF but he will be in a few day. Any way he is 23 and I am 22 we Love to hang out with friends however because of our son, I always get left home just because we do not want him around all the things that go on at friends houses (cigarettes, alcohol) and this has been going on alot lately. Now since the begining I do most of the things that need to be done (laundry, dishes, house cleaning, etc. ) now I also have the things that need to be done for my son. on top of all of this we are planning on moving in about 6-9 months and I want to have all of our stuff packed up and ready to go. (this is a foreclosure) I do not want to lose any of my things. So I have SO much stuff on my plate and every time I happen to get a break from my son (who is attached to MOMMA!) all i want to do is take a break and maybe take a shower or nap. But when something is an inconvenience to my BF (like no clean dishes or no clean clothes) he gets mad at me for it, but when i try to explain to him that i need help, he doesn't seem to understand.
I don't want to make him sound like a bad parent because he is not. He is an AMAZING father and loves his son with everything he has and would do anything for him. BUT that does not help me out with things that need to be done (including my sleep) I have been having issues getting my son's sleep schedule fixed again he has been keeping me up until about 5-7 am every morning. I feel like i ALWAYS go to sleep after my BF and get up Before him, and he complains that he does not get any sleep but he does not understand that I am getting less than him and doing more. I dont know if I am just trying to vent or if I am looking for advice. I just don't know what to do anymore. I do not want this to cause a problem in our relationship, but what else can i do?

orchidlovingmama 2 kids; Santa Rosa, California 1769 posts
8th Apr '13

I'm sorry don't take this as rude but I'm going to give you my honest opinion. it sounds like you're making excuses for him. if my sons father was not taking any of the responsibilities and leaving me to do everything I would not consider him to be an amazing father. in fact I would be incredibly upset and would not put up with it. You need to be very frank with him. Stand up for yourself. Don't put up with that. You are allowing this to go on whether you realize it or not. If you stood up 4 yourself and listed some ground rules then he would have to comply or face the bitter consequences. A relationship will not work unless its 50/50.

This ish is bananas TTC since Mar 2014; 1 child; Georgia 1774 posts
8th Apr '13

You need to do What's best for you and your son. Yours and your boyfriends relationship is no longer what is most important. He needs to be helping out so you can maintain your sanity.