Reply
CJKB+JMB=AMB 1 child; Watertown, New York 2525 posts
16th Apr '13

I would like to point out that I have a happy amazing marriage to a man who loves me and treats me like a queen, and I feel the same about him. Still love our son more because he grew inside me hes my forever baby. And my husband loves him more to he created him.

user banned Japan 244 posts
16th Apr '13

@carrisa
Good for you my friend .You and your spouse should be on the same page. I hope your marriage will sustain everything and your kids turn up great .



Every couple is different. Some love their spouse more ,some kids .Nothing wrong with either
Love and commitment matters the most in the marriage . .


Thanks to proudmama for understanding me

cryssi_renee Godfrey, Illinois 10 posts
16th Apr '13

I have actually been thinking about this a lot lately. I feel the same way and grow fonder of my husband more and more each day!! Its been 24 years.I think its natural .it's an interesting concept and amazing that our love for our husband grows with time
You love your kids unconditionally from day one and that love never decreases or increases, it's constant. Your spouse, however, the love keeps growing, getting stronger overtime. You love your children always, you are not in love with them. In the end, you and your spouse are who remain. i think most elderly couples do feel this way .i know i do

loser mom 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Oslo, ,, Norway 10902 posts
status 16th Apr '13
Quoting vivi12:" @carrisa Good for you my friend .You and your spouse should be on the same page. I hope your marriage ... [snip!] ... wrong with either Love and commitment matters the most in the marriage . . Thanks to proudmama for understanding me "


I'm sorry, but there is something wrong if you truly believe you love your spouse more than your children. I'm not saying you can't love them equally, but your kids should come before anyone else.

user banned Japan 244 posts
16th Apr '13
Quoting loser mom:" I'm sorry, but there is something wrong if you truly believe you love your spouse more than your children. I'm not saying you can't love them equally, but your kids should come before anyone else. "


My children are already grown so why i should put them first over my husband ?
They have their own lives.They don't need me .



There is nothing wrong with me .Thanks
If you don't put your spouse over your children your marriage will die . It happens way too often. Ask any marriage counselor about it



Even googling about it will give you great results to justify my points



Parents will raise happier children 'if they put them second to their marriage



http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/feb/07/parents-advised-put-children-second
v
Secret To A Happy Marriage

user banned Japan 244 posts
16th Apr '13

.....................

Big D! Due October 7 (boy); 1 child; Escondido, California 9518 posts
16th Apr '13

Does anyone else find it strange that suddenly, several new profiles with low posts have come in to comment that they love their husbands more as well.....

CJKB+JMB=AMB 1 child; Watertown, New York 2525 posts
16th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Big D!:</b>" Does anyone else find it strange that suddenly, several new profiles with low posts have come in to comment that they love their husbands more as well....."</blockquote>




I noticed the same!!!! And they all used caps lock O.o
Lol not gonna say anything more though I hate being that person :p

user banned Japan 244 posts
16th Apr '13

"One last thing
The issue which bothers me the most in this discussion is "husbands come and go but children are forever " mentality .Its sickening because its great way to end your marriage .Divorce rates are so high because of this mentality
The father of your children are not replaceable .They are their only biological dad .
And to mrs LINKPIN . No love lost ok .You know i kind of agree with your point because you are in your second marriage and probably see things differently than i do . So we always clash or argue each other .It doesn't' matter though



Cryssi put her points as well and great points .She is on her 24 year of marriage so she probably can relate to me.
Mrs carissa .You too have this "husband are replaceable " mentality . Change it otherwise your children will grow in a broken family . Not try to being offensive but i have seen lots of mom like you . They end up miserable in the end .Yeah single moms who are overly clingy .



Mrs big D .Its a good way to turn my argument. I like your style LOL



Overall its fun .
Maybe you guys will remember me always
Always remember
"Your primary relationship is with your partner not your children"
Thanks so much for giving your time and all



Meet you guys after 10 years or so .I wonder how many of you get divorced with the mentality you have right . "my husband is expendable " LOL great one
I read it someone
."The husband-wife relationship is a life commitment as is the parent-child relationship. However, the parent's responsibility is to raise a child and teach him values and morals and accountability so that the child may then take care of himself when he becomes an adult. Therefore, the husband-wife relationship has priority over the parent-child "
Good luck

Sugarhiccup LLC ; 5 kids; Lahaina, Hawaii 2825 posts
16th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting vivi12:</b>" "One last thing The issue which bothers me the most in this discussion is "husbands come and go but ... [snip!] ... of himself when he becomes an adult. Therefore, the husband-wife relationship has priority over the parent-child " Good luck"</blockquote>



Quote: vivi-
Meet you guys after 10 years or so .I wonder how many of you get divorced with the mentality you have right . "my husband is expendable " LOL great one



How Christian of you to make such a comment... Smh



Just because Someone does not agree with you DOES NOT mean their marriage will fail or that anyone thinks their husband is expendable.



I commented in the beginning of this thread and have been watching it since. I still stand by my statement. My dh and I both Love our children more. I also question if all of these "new people" with very few posts are really you in disguise. Just seems VERY odd and it can be verified.



In addition you have contradicted yourself FAR to many times in this thread and touted Christianity while not exactly displaying Christian behavior for me to take you seriously at this point.

CJKB+JMB=AMB 1 child; Watertown, New York 2525 posts
16th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Sugarhiccup:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting vivi12:</b>" "One last thing The issue which bothers me the ... [snip!] ... this thread and touted Christianity while not exactly displaying Christian behavior for me to take you seriously at this point."</blockquote>




Totally agree with yoy, shes just beating a dead horse at this point going back and editing all her posts and looking down on us saying MY marriage is going to fail while at the same time saying its fine if some people love their kids more.
And I f**king HATE the religion card!! I refuse to believe that shes right saying God wants us to love our husbands more than our children smh...

loser mom 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Oslo, ,, Norway 10902 posts
status 16th Apr '13
Quoting vivi12:" My children are already grown so why i should put them first over my husband ? They have their own ... [snip!] ... and when the kid leaves the home ,they have nothing common with their husband . Divorce rates among empty Nestors are huge "


I'm 35 years old and I still need my mother.



I also know that my parents will put me or my siblings before either one of themselves, and they've been married for almost 40 years.



I'm not concerned about the stability of my marriage - we both have the same goals and dreams. Thanks for the insight however.

Sugarhiccup LLC ; 5 kids; Lahaina, Hawaii 2825 posts
16th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting loser mom:</b>" I'm not concerned about the stability of my marriage - we both have the same goals and dreams. Thanks for the insight however. "</blockquote>



Love this! :)

Sugarhiccup LLC ; 5 kids; Lahaina, Hawaii 2825 posts
16th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Carissa Biron:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Sugarhiccup:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting vivi12:</b>" ... [snip!] ... the religion card!! I refuse to believe that shes right saying God wants us to love our husbands more than our children smh..."</blockquote>




I noticed all of the editing myself as well...makes me laugh.

1inpink2inblue Switzerland 11961 posts
16th Apr '13

I find your post laughable op. If you truely felt you were doing nothing wrong you wouldn't feel the need to attack me on a personal level. I've lived more hardships in the last 6 years than you have obviously facedbin a life time. This has brought me pain and wisdom beyond my years most of which directly face this topic. You can love and live with a person your whole life and never truly know them or what they are capable of. Just think of the woman who find out after 30+ years of marriage that their husband is a cerial killer, a rapist, or a child molester. I'm not bitter or insecure. It isn't even that I don't trust my husband I'm just not ignorant to the ways of the world. Even when my children are grow if I found out dh ever abused them as children the marriage would be over. The fact that they are adults and are no longer in danger doesn't change that. And I don't think my husband is replaceable. He is a human being and there will only ever be one of him. But the kind of love I have for him is replaceable. That is why so many widows remarry. And happily married widows have a higher remarriage rate and take less time on average to remarry. The people who are abandoned by their children in their old age are usually in that situation because their children weren't shown an adequate amount of love in their youth. My dh knows how I feel on the subject. He knows that I need and crave is affection and without it our marriage would fail. He know that even with everything we have been through that are marriage is not strong enough to survive with out constant attention. That is simply the reality of marriage. One day things might be easier but even then it will take effort to keep our love strong. And yes I feel sorry for you. You will only know your own value or worth through your marriage and relationship with your dh. If that were ever to fail were would you be? You said you mother felt the same and died of a broken heart (not that I believe that is a real thing) after your father died. Is that any way to live? My life has value as a mother and it will even when my kids are grown. Even if they all died (lord forbid) I know eventually I would pull myself together wanting to continue to be someone my kids would have been proud to have as a mom. And for the record my dd isn't missing out on anything because her bio dad and I aren't married. That is like saying adopted kids are missing out because they aren't raised by their bio parents. Dh loves her like his own and when dd was two her bio dad got off drugs and started making an effort to be a part of her life. Because he loved her above anything else. Almost 4 years later he is a pretty good dad in his own right and my dd is one of the most loved kids with one of the biggest families I've ever seen.