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Mari-C 18 kids; Nebraska 3695 posts
10th Apr '13

I wouldn't stick around. If he were a real catch, he wouldn't have kept that from you...period.

I Stab People 3 kids; Zambia 6604 posts
10th Apr '13
Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" idk how I'd feel about that. If she will never recover from that, but could live in a vegetable-like ... [snip!] ... in a vegetable-like state for years, he has a right to move on and try to find some sort of peace and happiness for himself."



she will never recover, she will die, shes getting worse i guess it could be any day now...

no he didnt tell me until today.... theyre daugther died in 2008 from it..

user banned California 36390 posts
10th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Crystal Marie S.:</b>" idk how I'd feel about that. If she will never recover from that, but could live in a vegetable-like ... [snip!] ... in a vegetable-like state for years, he has a right to move on and try to find some sort of peace and happiness for himself."</blockquote>




:!: I would want my DH to move on

************************* Chehalis, Washington 362 posts
10th Apr '13
Quoting *B & D Mommy*:" Why? That isn't something that is easy to just up and tell a stranger. Maybe he wanted to wait and see if their relationship was going anywhere before he told her such news"


I disagree, I guess. I think its fine for him to date especially in the instance that one poster suggested in which she would be in a vegetative state for life but would you rather have known about this sooner or later? Personally this is something I feel she should have been told at least before they were in a "relationship".

LA REINA™ New York, NY, United States 16183 posts
status 10th Apr '13
Quoting NICKEL☮POLIS:" It was probably really hard for him to tell you. I agree that it's pretty messed up but it's not like she's at home waiting for him every night. He's probably extremely lonely."

I agree with this. If I was in his situation, I wouldn't have said anything either, not unless I knew I was going to be with someone.

I Stab People 3 kids; Zambia 6604 posts
10th Apr '13
Quoting amkcr8667810:" I disagree, I guess. I think its fine for him to date especially in the instance that one poster suggested ... [snip!] ... sooner or later? Personally this is something I feel she should have been told at least before they were in a "relationship"."


i feel that way too. now i feel like a dirty misstress/ skank/ wh**e and really hurt.. ugh

NICKEL☮POLIS 2 kids; Ontario 6263 posts
10th Apr '13
Quoting I Stab People:" i feel that way too. now i feel like a dirty misstress/ skank/ wh**e and really hurt.. ugh"


The fact that he told you at all though obviously means he cares about you. Four months honestly isn't that long.. some people still consider it a casual relationship by that point. If he thought of you as a dirty skank or wh**e he wouldn't tell you at all. Try to be understanding.

*B & D Mommy* Due January 19; 2 kids; Illinois 15945 posts
10th Apr '13
Quoting amkcr8667810:" I disagree, I guess. I think its fine for him to date especially in the instance that one poster suggested ... [snip!] ... sooner or later? Personally this is something I feel she should have been told at least before they were in a "relationship"."


Yeah...maybe he was just scared or nervous? Or just simply didn't feel like telling someone unless he was positive they were going to be together. After 4 months of dating people usually get a good sense if they want to continue to be with the person they are with. Maybe he was waiting for the right time? I don't know..I imagine it is very difficult for him.



OP...did you ask why he never told you until now?

*B & D Mommy* Due January 19; 2 kids; Illinois 15945 posts
10th Apr '13
Quoting NICKEL☮POLIS:" The fact that he told you at all though obviously means he cares about you. Four months honestly isn't ... [snip!] ... by that point. If he thought of you as a dirty skank or wh**e he wouldn't tell you at all. Try to be understanding."


I agree!

LA REINA™ New York, NY, United States 16183 posts
status 10th Apr '13
Quoting *B & D Mommy*:" Yeah...maybe he was just scared or nervous? Or just simply didn't feel like telling someone unless he ... [snip!] ... for the right time? I don't know..I imagine it is very difficult for him. OP...did you ask why he never told you until now? "


This.



Did you tell him how it made you feel to just find this out?

BαtMαɳ Secret Bat Cave, FK, Oman 62123 posts
status 10th Apr '13
Quoting I Stab People:" i feel that way too. now i feel like a dirty misstress/ skank/ wh**e and really hurt.. ugh"


Honestly in your circumstance, I wouldn't. You can't blame the man for wanting/needing to move on, especially if this has been going on for years and she would never get better. Like someone else said, it's not like she is at home waiting for him while he is with you.

************************* Chehalis, Washington 362 posts
10th Apr '13
Quoting I Stab People:" i feel that way too. now i feel like a dirty misstress/ skank/ wh**e and really hurt.. ugh"


YOU shouldn't feel dirty at all. You didn't know, period. But I understand how you would. Personally, let's just say you have herpes and a wife in a bedridden forever state...which would you tell first? I don't see where it's something to be ashamed of so I don't understand the secretiveness about it unless he's shady. Just my opinion...we all know what they say about opinions.

*B & D Mommy* Due January 19; 2 kids; Illinois 15945 posts
10th Apr '13
Quoting BαƚMαɳ:" Honestly in your circumstance, I wouldn't. You can't blame the man for wanting/needing to move on, especially ... [snip!] ... and she would never get better. Like someone else said, it's not like she is at home waiting for him while he is with you."


:!:

************************* Chehalis, Washington 362 posts
10th Apr '13

Plus I feel like people are missing that he TOLD about the daughter who DIED from the EXACT SAME CONDITION. If it was a matter of being too personal for their 4 month relationship then why tell about the daughter and not the wife?

BαtMαɳ Secret Bat Cave, FK, Oman 62123 posts
status 10th Apr '13
Quoting amkcr8667810:" Plus I feel like people are missing that he TOLD about the daughter who DIED from the EXACT SAME CONDITION. ... [snip!] ... If it was a matter of being too personal for their 4 month relationship then why tell about the daughter and not the wife?"


because OP is a mother, she can relate in a way and probably wanted some way to connect with her on that level.