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Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15185 posts
11th Apr '13
Quoting Cheltsy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" You never answered my question? Can you ... [snip!] ... I didn't find it necessary to answer your question seeing how its obvious those thoughts have been plaguing me."


You clearly need to think about them. How it's going to effect the quality of your life and your current child's life. Your future, your child's future, the future of your relationship, etc. Instead of guilt yourself out of something because you think it's shameful.

Cheltsy Due November 26; Orlando, Florida 19 posts
11th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jennybananna:</b>" Have you considered adoption? I can understand how hard the choice to abort is but from what you said ... [snip!] ... having one already you know they take a lot of work and two is much harder than 1 especially when you're already struggling. "</blockquote>




I really appreciate your response and everything your saying has been playing over and over in my head for days now. I've asked myself all of those questions then some that's why I've been so back and forth one minute I want to do it then the next I'm thinking I can't do it ..I'm an emotional wreck

user banned 19 kids; Japan 4077 posts
11th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" And sometimes that reason is that you make dumb decisions that will make your life and your current child's life harder. "</blockquote>




Understandable. But maybe to her it isn't a dumb decision. To me it seems like she 110% believes that this baby is worth trying to make it all work out. Nobody can really say how it's all going to work out until it's already happened. And personally, I have never known somebody who decided to keep their baby later look at that same baby after it is born and think "man. That was a dumb decision." No matter how hard it made things.



That's just my experience though. Maybe some people out there actually do think that about their kid.



Point is she has decided to keep her baby despite the original thought of maybe getting an abortion. Her choice. And to her I say good luck and stay strong!! Hang in there.

Queen Rowdy TTC since Jan 2013; 1 angel baby; Australia 972 posts
11th Apr '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" You clearly need to think about them. How it's going to effect the quality of your life and your current ... [snip!] ... future, the future of your relationship, etc. Instead of guilt yourself out of something because you think it's shameful. "


I think she got the picture. The things you mentioned are obviously things she has been thinking about. Constantly. She is aware they wont magically diappear. But she has made her choice. I dont think it appropriate to hassle her into considering abortion again.

White Chocolate Milk 1 child; Chelsea, Alabama 12303 posts
11th Apr '13
Quoting Cheltsy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting White Chocolate Milk:</b>" I don't really think this is appropriate ... [snip!] ... lots of stories of women saying they wish they wouldn't have done it that's why I added mine...if its offensive I can remove it"


Just know what this board is for, that's all. You have every right to speak and tell your story, just be sensitive to those who have chosen a different route for themselves and their lives.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15185 posts
11th Apr '13
Quoting ℳizz ℊiz. :" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" And sometimes that reason is that you make ... [snip!] ... the original thought of maybe getting an abortion. Her choice. And to her I say good luck and stay strong!! Hang in there."


She lives with her parents. She can't provide for the child she has now, do you think she can provide for another? She's 25, living with her mother, raising a child she can't afford, and she's pregnant again. She's obviously not in a great place in her life to have a child, let alone two.

user banned 19 kids; Japan 4077 posts
11th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" She lives with her parents. She can't provide for the child she has now, do you think she can provide ... [snip!] ... she can't afford, and she's pregnant again. She's obviously not in a great place in her life to have a child, let alone two. "</blockquote>




Ok. And she has decided to keep her baby. So..... I don't see what you are trying to prove. She knows it will be hard. She seems fully aware of that. But it is her choice and she has chosen this one.



What she needs now is encouragement and advice.

Jennybananna 2 kids; Gilbert, AZ, United States 25079 posts
11th Apr '13
Quoting Cheltsy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jennybananna:</b>" Have you considered adoption? I can understand ... [snip!] ... why I've been so back and forth one minute I want to do it then the next I'm thinking I can't do it ..I'm an emotional wreck"

Maybe you should talk to someone (like a counselor) who can help you through this. You have a ton on your plate and very hard road ahead regardless of your choice. The best advice I can think to give you is make the best choice for your life and your living child's life not for the life that could be. You are still early so you have options but it is a choice you have to make quickly before time runs out. I do wish you the best in whatever your choice, none of your options are easy but sometimes the best choice is the hardest one.

user banned 19 kids; Japan 4077 posts
11th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jennybananna:</b>" Maybe you should talk to someone (like a counselor) who can help you through this. You have a ton on ... [snip!] ... do wish you the best in whatever your choice, none of your options are easy but sometimes the best choice is the hardest one. "</blockquote>



I think counseling is a great idea. It will definitely help her sort out her emotions and everything.

Cheltsy Due November 26; Orlando, Florida 19 posts
11th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" You clearly need to think about them. How it's going to effect the quality of your life and your current ... [snip!] ... future, the future of your relationship, etc. Instead of guilt yourself out of something because you think it's shameful. "</blockquote>




Your saying that as if I don't know these things...this is tough what are you trying to make me feel worse about it? I'm not guilting myself out of it BC I feel its shameful I don't feel like I can do it BC I'm falling in love with the child that is growing inside of me and am finding it very hard to give it up. Either way I still may lose in the end. Things may be worse off than I think and I'm really struggling ...or I could end up depressed getting rid of a baby that I wanted to keep..I don't need to be reminded about what all this could effect ...I know already ..this is hard

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15185 posts
11th Apr '13
Quoting Cheltsy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" You clearly need to think about them. How ... [snip!] ... of a baby that I wanted to keep..I don't need to be reminded about what all this could effect ...I know already ..this is hard"


I understand that it's hard. You're in an awful position, but you need to think about everything, from every point of view. You need to think about everything, you need to think about all of these things even though it's extremely hard.



Do you think you'll be with this guy forever? If not, are you prepared to have two children with him when you're married to someone else later on?

LeiLana80 2 kids; Ohio 243 posts
11th Apr '13

I'm pretty sure she's decided what she's going to do. Why try to talk her into something else? I agree with what someone else said... she needs positive support.

user banned 19 kids; Japan 4077 posts
11th Apr '13

Hang in there girlie. Be strong. <3
You, your family and your situation will be in my thoughts & prayers and I hope in the end the choice you stick with is the one that is best for you. And that all works out. Even if things don't work out at first, life has a way of leading you to the path you were supposed to be on despite the choices that got you there.



Just remember that no matter what happens, you can make it through. <3

Cheltsy Due November 26; Orlando, Florida 19 posts
11th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jennybananna:</b>" Maybe you should talk to someone (like a counselor) who can help you through this. You have a ton on ... [snip!] ... do wish you the best in whatever your choice, none of your options are easy but sometimes the best choice is the hardest one. "</blockquote>




I think that's a good idea ...ill seek counseling and get the help I need in dealing with the decisions I have to face thanks for the advice

Cheltsy Due November 26; Orlando, Florida 19 posts
11th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" She lives with her parents. She can't provide for the child she has now, do you think she can provide ... [snip!] ... she can't afford, and she's pregnant again. She's obviously not in a great place in her life to have a child, let alone two. "</blockquote>




And I don't live with my parents a family member has allowed me to stay there as money is saved up to get a new place..wasn't able to find a new place as quick as I hoped before our lease ended...and.I am able to provide for my child any and everything she needs her parents provide...the living situation is a minor setback while we search for our new place and will be putting a down payment on a car in a few weeks...my situation right now isn't the greatest but don't talk like I'm some irresponsible child laid up in her parents house having kids she can't take care of.