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Parenting. Sara❥ TTC since May 2014; 1 child; Sumter, South Carolina 8754 posts
11th Apr '13

Do you think the way a mother or father parents has anything to do with the way they were raised?



I would say it's a definite yes in many ways.



For example, if you are raised in a supportive and loving home you may take the tools you learn as a child and apply them when you have children. What would cause you to go the other way? I've known people who were raised by good parents but became bad parents.



How much do drugs and alohol effect parenting?



Also, if you are raised with absent or "bad" parents you may turn around and do the same or you could go the other route and raise them in a way that you never had.



What other factors effect the way you parent?

JKBC♡ 2 kids; Windsor, PA, United States 9212 posts
11th Apr '13

My parents were shit, they were abusive and very negative. They think they were amazing parents because they took us (my sisters and I) on tons of vacations and bought us lots of toys and clothes.:? Money= love, to them. I WILL NOT treat my daughter the same.

Amelia [a Mom] 1 child; 4 angel babies; Tallahassee, Florida 15034 posts
11th Apr '13

My mom grew up with a physically/sexually abusive, alcoholic father and emotionally abusive mother. As a parent, she just did everything the opposite of how she was raised. She turned out to be an amazing mother and still is. I believe how we are raised is the greatest influence in how we parent, whether good or bad. But certainly other factors can be a significant influence. I think my teaching experience will influence my parenting a lot.

Sara❥ TTC since May 2014; 1 child; Sumter, South Carolina 8754 posts
11th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Amelia Margaret:</b>" My mom grew up with a physically/sexually abusive, alcoholic father and emotionally abusive mother. As ... [snip!] ... But certainly other factors can be a significant influence. I think my teaching experience will influence my parenting a lot."</blockquote>




Very well said. I think there are way too many factors to conclusively state how you will be as a parent. I think everything we go through in life effects the way we parent.

Sara❥ TTC since May 2014; 1 child; Sumter, South Carolina 8754 posts
11th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting J+K= Bri+ baby boy:):</b>" My parents were shit, they were abusive and very negative. They think they were amazing parents because ... [snip!] ... I) on tons of vacations and bought us lots of toys and clothes.:? Money= love, to them. I WILL NOT treat my daughter the same."</blockquote>



My parents weren't terrible but I definitely can say I've learned through the mistakes they have made. And like you said, there are things they did that I will never do.

Sneakmom 2 kids; Texas 4861 posts
11th Apr '13

My parents were horrible. Horrible. I learned through therapy what is and isn't acceptable parenty stuff and will raise my children with love and affection.

Amelia [a Mom] 1 child; 4 angel babies; Tallahassee, Florida 15034 posts
11th Apr '13
Quoting Sneakthief:" My parents were horrible. Horrible. I learned through therapy what is and isn't acceptable parenty stuff and will raise my children with love and affection."


Good for you. My mom received lots and lots of therapy and still sees a therapist to this day. I think it definitely helped her as a parent.

☮Sugar Magnolia 1 child; Indiana 18298 posts
11th Apr '13

My mom wasn't horrible, but she wasn't great. She yells and screams a lot, and to this day if ANYONE yells at me i completely shut down. And I'm still kinda scared of her :oops: Lol



But that definitely influences my parenting. I've already vowed not to be a screamer or a spanker. I was humiliated enough for the both of us when i was a child.

user banned Due November 26; 1 child; Parkersburg, West Virginia 9548 posts
11th Apr '13

we parent opposite what so's parents did and my mom had good points but not all good so i take what she did right and change the bad. i liked how she kept us with her most of the time didnt spank and gave us attention

Sara❥ TTC since May 2014; 1 child; Sumter, South Carolina 8754 posts
11th Apr '13

So would you all agree that we take the good and learn from the bad?



What happens when we make a parenting mistake? Is it our parents fault?

user banned Due November 26; 1 child; Parkersburg, West Virginia 9548 posts
11th Apr '13
Quoting sαяα:" So would you all agree that we take the good and learn from the bad? What happens when we make a parenting mistake? Is it our parents fault?"

i believe they are our own mistakes. we can only blame others for so long b4 we have to realize that we are adults now and make our own choices.

Sara❥ TTC since May 2014; 1 child; Sumter, South Carolina 8754 posts
11th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting I love Kenzi:</b>" i believe they are our own mistakes. we can only blame others for so long b4 we have to realize that we are adults now and make our own choices. "</blockquote>




I agree. I think you have to take responsibility for you own actions or mistakes. What happens if you make the same mistake as your parent? Does it make the mistake that much worse?

K and N TTC since Nov 2012; 2 kids; Denver City, Texas 1890 posts
11th Apr '13

What a great question!!



In my case... I had totally absent parents. My dad wasn't there at all, and my mom was physically there at her convenience, but never there emotionally.



I will make it a point to be a much better parent than either of mine were.

Sara❥ TTC since May 2014; 1 child; Sumter, South Carolina 8754 posts
11th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting kacti:</b>" What a great question!! In my case... I had totally absent parents. My dad wasn't there at all, and ... [snip!] ... at her convenience, but never there emotionally. I will make it a point to be a much better parent than either of mine were."</blockquote>



I think that's all we can really do is hope that we can be better than they were, even if they were great. You should always strive to be better especially when another life is in the balance. I know I'll make mistakes along the way but I know I won't make the same ones my parents made. :D

Kaleighshaleigh 3 kids; USA 5703 posts
11th Apr '13

I was raised by amazing parents, and do many things the same way they did. However, my amazing Daddy was raised by an alcoholic that died when he was 14, so he did a lot that was opposite of what his parents did, and he learned a lot of parenting lessons from my mother's father, who was also a wonderful man.