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I wish I didn't give a shit. Kimber-lily Due September 27 (girl); 4 kids; Nova Scotia 28962 posts
11th Apr '13

I've been engaged for 3 days... THREE days. And people already have me stressed beyond belief.




NO, we do NOT have a date set. And NO I have no idea where or how we are getting married because there is so many fucked up and stupid people in our families we have no idea what to do.




We want to elope. We would looooooove just to take a weekend and go to a location and enjoy each other without having to entertain other people on our dollar. (yes, we are cheap S.O.Bs)
When I told my mom about my SO dad eloping last month, she told me that SO and I better not elope and if we do she wants to be there. ... it's not eloping if she comes, and if she comes as a witness then it's a shit storm mess with the rest of the family.
Having a small reception wouldn't work because I don't want MIL's husband there (He is a major prick, he isn't allowed in my house or near my children or even myself). MIL won't even come over for Christmas to say hi to the children if her husband isn't allowed to come over... so, I can only imagine how not inviting him to our wedding would pan out.



sigh. fml. people need to just piss off. Someones feelings are going to get hurt, and I wish I didn't give a shit..
Maybe I'll just change my last name.

Snow Storybrooke, ME, United States 34017 posts
11th Apr '13

This is for you and SO, not anyone else. I say elope and just tell people after the fact. They'll be mad? Let them be.

Kimber-lily Due September 27 (girl); 4 kids; Nova Scotia 28962 posts
11th Apr '13
Quoting Snotface♫[usmc]:" This is for you and SO, not anyone else. I say elope and just tell people after the fact. They'll be mad? Let them be. "


My mom was trying to guilt me, "If you don't have a wedding I won't get to see any of my kids get married in my life time. The other 4 are in their 20's but they act like 10 year olds".. .. which is true, but why is that my problem?

Cindy[+1]♥ Due August 15; TTC since Jul 2014; 1 child; Kentucky 11125 posts
11th Apr '13
Quoting Snotface♫[usmc]:" This is for you and SO, not anyone else. I say elope and just tell people after the fact. They'll be mad? Let them be. "

:!:

[[Breezy]] 1 child; Savannah, Georgia 15614 posts
11th Apr '13

Dude, just f**king do it.

GrumpsMama 1 child; Whiskey d**k Mountain, WA, United States 16134 posts
11th Apr '13

Just go do it. Don't tell anybody



I wouldn;t even have told anybody I was engaged

Snow Storybrooke, ME, United States 34017 posts
11th Apr '13
Quoting Kimber-lily:" My mom was trying to guilt me, "If you don't have a wedding I won't get to see any of my kids get married ... [snip!] ... in my life time. The other 4 are in their 20's but they act like 10 year olds".. .. which is true, but why is that my problem?"


It's not your problem at all. Don't let her guilt her into anything, this isn't for her and she's being selfish.

Crazyhazel89 1 child; Erie, Pennsylvania 3994 posts
11th Apr '13

Omg....ELOPE! I would just stop f**king caring....and I understand I don't like my dad's wife but I always have to invite her to shit or he won't come!

Loretta West [+1] Due March 26 (boy); TTC since May 2013; 1 child; Auckland, New Zealand 7044 posts
status 11th Apr '13
Quoting [[Breezy]]:" Dude, just f**king do it."


:!::!:
When I get engaged, we will be telling two people who will be our witnesses. Everyone else can GTF over it. SO wants a proper wedding but I don't want his million cousins getting drunk and ruining anything. He has a huge family and we'd have to invite them all or they'd all be butthurt about it :roll:

user banned Due January 20; 33 kids; North Carolina 14662 posts
11th Apr '13

The morning after I got engaged (not even 12 hours later) I woke up to find a bridal magazine at my door from my mom.
3 years later we ended up eloping.
I got exactly what I wanted that way. I am not ashamed of it, neither is DH. My mom is still a little bitter about it (5 years later) but I keep telling her that I got exactly what I wanted on my day and my happiness should be the only issue.



Do not give in on what you and your fiance want. It is YOUR day, not anyone elses. You will have the memories forever, make them happy ones.



ETA
Also, I got engaged on Friday the 13th, and got married on Halloween. Exactly what I wanted. lol

m o m ♥ 2 kids; Ontario 7948 posts
11th Apr '13

Do what you want! If I could do it over again I would fly somewhere hot and get married like that.



My sister did it and spent less than half of what I did and it was awesome!!

Bunny Belly Due August 3; 1 child; Spring Hill, Florida 1234 posts
11th Apr '13

It's not something to just "get over"- compassion is a good thing!



However, I do agree with everybody else- if you both want to just elope, f**king do it. Explain the situation to your mom, and remind her that it's for YOU and HIM, not anyone else!

Jalen's mommy 1 child; San Antonio, Texas 6745 posts
11th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Snotface♫[usmc]:</b>" This is for you and SO, not anyone else. I say elope and just tell people after the fact. They'll be mad? Let them be. "</blockquote>




:!: this is what DH and I did and we don't regret it at all. DH's family knew we were getting married but we didn't invite anyone. My family had no idea until afterwards. Yes, they got mad and my dad even tried to make me feel bad (even though he's never been a big part of my life) but I didn't and still don't care. The only people who were there were me, DH, and LO. This should be about you and your SO being happy, not trying to make others happy and having a miserable wedding because of that. Good luck and congratulations!

LinzieBoBinzie Due June 26; 1 child; 1 angel baby; Western, NY, United States 5039 posts
11th Apr '13

Throwing out the wedding plans and eloping with DH was prob the best decision ever. Didn't start out marriage with a crap ton of wedding debt was nice. My family was a bit pissed at first but they got over it. Wouldn't change how we got married at all!

J+D=4 4 kids; Beverly Hills, California 14683 posts
11th Apr '13

when hubby and I got married, we went to a JP's office. the guest list was: my mom and dad, my little brother, hubby's mom (with sister on the phone listening), his aunt, and his grandpa. as per tradition, lol, my dad paid... a whopping $20 :)



ETA: next year is our 10 year anniversary and we will do an actual service then.. with all our kids involved.