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mama bear mentality? luvryans3 3 kids; Japan 51 posts
11th Apr '13

Ok if your children's father had a new girlfriend that u didn't know about until your child told you but this girlfriend doesn't want to meet and expressed that but is around your kids would you feel suspicious? How would you take that?

Preggo Bear Claw Due May 3; 64 kids; Firestone Park, CA, United States 661 posts
11th Apr '13

I wouldn't be too happy, but if she doesn't want to meet there isn't much you can do without flaring up drama, so long as your LO isn't reporting anything bad or mistreatment - let it be .... She might come around ....

The Pretender 2 kids; Brazil 1232 posts
11th Apr '13

I wouldn't be suspicious per-say... but I'd think they were probably just really immature and if they were going to be with my kids then I would insist on meeting them.



If they can't give me the courtesy of meeting me face to face then they have no business playing house with my kiddos.

Ladee+Grant+Lilly 2 kids; Tallahassee, FL, United States 20811 posts
status 11th Apr '13

I don't think I'd like it at all really. Me and both of my childrens fathers have had the discussion that before any new people come around the kids we meet them first. So far there hasn't been anyone (to my knowledge). I'd really try to talk to your baby's father and explain where you're coming from and see if he can set something up. Maybe like a lunch out, with all of you, so no one feels uncoimfortable

nothingness Arizona 3578 posts
11th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting luvryans3:</b>" Ok if your children's father had a new girlfriend that u didn't know about until your child told you ... [snip!] ... girlfriend doesn't want to meet and expressed that but is around your kids would you feel suspicious? How would you take that?"</blockquote>




My child would not be around her. Period. And the BD is in big trouble also.

luvryans3 3 kids; Japan 51 posts
11th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Preggo Bear Claw:</b>" I wouldn't be too happy, but if she doesn't want to meet there isn't much you can do without flaring ... [snip!] ... flaring up drama, so long as your LO isn't reporting anything bad or mistreatment - let it be .... She might come around ...."</blockquote>




She accidentally spilled the beans. I don't think she meant to talk about her but she was telling me a story about the girl's daughter.

Preggo Bear Claw Due May 3; 64 kids; Firestone Park, CA, United States 661 posts
11th Apr '13

Is there any particular reason she might not wanna meet? I'd be really upset if my child accidentally mentioned her because that might mean her dad or g/f are teaching the child to keep secrets ... Not cool, confront them and offer a lunch date; if they say no - visitation should cease until further notice ...

mamaluvsher4babies 36 kids; California 4230 posts
12th Apr '13

Some men don't cause they don't want hear the drama of " well my child better not be around her blah blah blah ..I would just call him up and ask to meet her. My ex tells me about his girl friends. It don't bother me, thing is if any of them are rude to our daughter he kicks them to the curb. It has only happen once.

luvryans3 3 kids; Japan 51 posts
12th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Preggo Bear Claw:</b>" Is there any particular reason she might not wanna meet? I'd be really upset if my child accidentally ... [snip!] ... secrets ... Not cool, confront them and offer a lunch date; if they say no - visitation should cease until further notice ..."</blockquote>




No idea that's y I was suspicious.

luvryans3 3 kids; Japan 51 posts
12th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting mamaluvsher4babies:</b>" Some men don't cause they don't want hear the drama of " well my child better not be around her blah ... [snip!] ... It don't bother me, thing is if any of them are rude to our daughter he kicks them to the curb. It has only happen once."</blockquote>




That's the thing. She said she's not ready to meet.

callme_algae Delray Beach, Florida 4 posts
12th Apr '13

I don't think will feel suspicious

♥ laura-marie + 1 1 child; Stalybridge, United Kingdom 1339 posts
12th Apr '13

If me and my bf broke up and he got a new girlfriend I know he wouldn't introduce them for a while because he waited to introduce me to his eldest son when we got together which is good.
I'd have to know about her and I'd probably want to talk to her to make sure she isn't mental haha

LittleBear's mama 3 kids; Ontario 480 posts
12th Apr '13

I am sort of in the same situation. I know my ex has been dating someone, he quickly introduced me to her. Now I would like a meeting with the ex, the new girl me and my dh to discuss things concerning the kids. She is staying over there pretty much every weekend, which is fine, but some ground rules do need to be laid out. My ex already encourages the kids not to say anything about what they do on the weekends over at their dads place (soooo wrong, encouraging them to keep secrets), and she needs to be made aware of their medical stuff (my ex likes to 'forget' to give them their meds), and she needs to understand the terms of the ex and i divorce agreement. Whenever I ask to get together he says he isnt sure when she is coming to town again...then I find out she was in town all weekend with her daughter.

CJKB+JMB=AMB 1 child; Watertown, New York 2525 posts
12th Apr '13

i would be kind of upset but i would give her a few weeks. maybe she is still adjusting to a new bf and kids on top of it. i wouldnt expect her to be comfortable meeting me for at least three weeks. if like three weeks down the road she still is refusing to meet her then you have a problem and need to say to your ex i have to meet her

K and N TTC since Nov 2012; 2 kids; Denver City, Texas 1890 posts
12th Apr '13
Quoting The Pretender:" I wouldn't be suspicious per-say... but I'd think they were probably just really immature and if they ... [snip!] ... them. If they can't give me the courtesy of meeting me face to face then they have no business playing house with my kiddos. "

:!:
This.