Quoting BαƚMαɳ:" Ignore her and live your life. No one can predict the future. Just because "statistics" are against you, doesn't mean you should let that dictate your life atm."
Also, I got with my husband at 14 and I will be turning 23 in July, and August will be 9 years for us. Yes, you CAN do it! With TONNNNNNNS of hardwork,sacrifice,patience,understanding,forgiveness, and LOVE, it can all pull through and last :)
i have a good plan ahead. him and i both do. and i adore him for how much he adores me and his daughter. i plan to finish school and start college immeadiately. and he as well, wants to start college next year and he's even considered having two jobs at the same time. He's a good daddy so far. Am I right? We wouldnt of kept her if we didnt think we can do this. We want the very best for her.
Quoting ErinNicoleBeverly:" im not trying to make 16 and pregnant look okay. cause its not. ill be the first to tell you its messed ... [snip!] ... let him propose to me till im 18 because it looks bad to be a 16,pregnant, and engaged..but im not gonna wait around for her."
Getting married is a stupid idea. You have other things to worry about.
My sister is 7 years older than me and had been trying to get pregnant for 3 years unsuccessfully. I got pregnant at 21 and she was still upset by it. Because she was prepared, she was responsible. I wasn't. That's why she was upset.
Quoting Smartass *Preggo!*:" incredibly difficult life.
I highly doubt she is jealous. She may just be giving you tough love even though its coming off to you as very negative. It is true that many young couples don't make it, but a lot of older ones don't either. Almost everyone I know who got pregnant young, and I mean 18,19 young not 16, is not with the father. It doesn't mean that that will happen to you BUT it's very hard to care for a child, do scool, work etc and try to also keep a relationship alive and healthy. I'm 20 with a 1 1/2 year old. I got pregnant 7-8 months of dating SO. We're now going on 3 years. It's very hard and nothing we expected. We hardly see each other because he has to work so hard to keep us going and I'm about to start school. If you want to do it, it is possible but sometimes things just don't work out
<blockquote><b>Quoting Smartass *Preggo!*:</b>" Because she is older and sees the statistics happen. I would be DEVASTATED if my younger siblings got ... [snip!] ... incredibly difficult life. No one wants to see people they love be discriminated against, put down, financially struggle, etc."</blockquote>
But her sister should be supporting her, not pushing against them. Even if she's seen the statistics happen doesn't mean she has to help make her sister one. I'm a big sister and my little sister got married at 17. Instead of telling her how wrong she is I'm determined to help her and her husband succeed. I refuse to let her be a statistic and even more so refuse to push her down that road myself.
My husband and I help support her and her husband so her DH can finish collage. So she can also.
What's done is done with OP. She is keeping her baby and trying to make it work with a man who seems to be doing a good job at stepping up. Why would her sister want to make it worse? Or ruin her personal relationship with her sister? It just seems so wrong to me.
<blockquote><b>Quoting ErinNicoleBeverly:</b>" im not trying to make 16 and pregnant look okay. cause its not. ill be the first to tell you its messed ... [snip!] ... let him propose to me till im 18 because it looks bad to be a 16,pregnant, and engaged..but im not gonna wait around for her."</blockquote>
I still don't think she's jealous. 20 is still young so I'm sure she's going to be enjoying her freedom and life.
As for marriage, I wouldn't. Depending on where you live, marriage can change a lot. If I were to get married I would be off my mothers medical and I need that because I have diabetes and my SO works off the books with no benefits. It could also change my daughters medical insurance. Do not get married until you are ready in every aspect. If you didn't get pregnant I'm sure you wouldn't have married him at 18 so don't do it just because you're having his kid
Quoting Jenna+1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Smartass *Preggo!*:</b>" Because she is older and sees the ... [snip!] ... Why would her sister want to make it worse? Or ruin her personal relationship with her sister? It just seems so wrong to me."
I wish my sister thought like you. She could be jealous and she may not be or she can be scared for me..either way, the way she is going about it, is wrong. I have to hear opinions on it every single day and Im just sick of it. She picks on my boyfriend and points out his wrongs all the time. We are in no financial situation to get our own place so we just bite our tongues and move on. Its getting harder to not lash out. I wish she'd support us/:
Quoting saageex3:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ErinNicoleBeverly:</b>" im not trying to make 16 and pregnant ... [snip!] ... If you didn't get pregnant I'm sure you wouldn't have married him at 18 so don't do it just because you're having his kid"
No. We definitely will not be getting married for a good 5 years or so. I want to make sure we can make this work and deal with the stress before we decide to do that (since ya know divorce costs a lot).
So, we're not getting into this completely stupidly. We are trying to be smart about it.
<blockquote><b>Quoting ErinNicoleBeverly:</b>" No. We definitely will not be getting married for a good 5 years or so. I want to make sure we can make ... [snip!] ... (since ya know divorce costs a lot). So, we're not getting into this completely stupidly. We are trying to be smart about it. "</blockquote>
Well hopefully it works out. Your still in school though and plan on going to college so even 5 years isn't a lot. At 20 and 22 it's even hard for me and SO to get our shit together which is why I'm going into the medical field. Just stay on the right track and ignore your sisters negative comments. Nobody has a say now on you or his life except you guys. If she says anything just smile and say okay
Quoting LEGENDARY JAS ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ErinNicoleBeverly:</b>" im not trying to make 16 and pregnant ... [snip!] ... Numerous women aren't ready to settle down in their twenties or even thirties. That's very ignorant and childish of you to say."
Lets first remember that A) it is just a feeling. From some of the things she says,it felt like that. Im not the only one who has pointed it out that she comes off like that. I also, can admit, Im probably just being defensive. It is just as childish of her to degrade us like she does instead of support us. B) I am STILL a child trying to take of my mistake and having tokmake ADULT decisions.So, Im going to have my childish ways sometimes.I am trying to do better.
I made this forum not to be insulted but for advice. I want to keep both my relationships.
She's realistic; not jealous. :lol:
Quoting LEGENDARY JAS ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ErinNicoleBeverly:</b>" Lets first remember that A) it is just ... [snip!] ... but like I said, no one in their right mind would be jealous of your situation. Jealous is probably the wrong word to use."
it probably is the wrong word. I get that. .
basically what i want is for my sister to support me. thats it.
Also keep in mind that it is very difficult for people who care about you to find the ability to support a 16 year old for various reasons.
Just give your sister time she will come around most family members get used to
The idea of you being pregnant young and then they will support you, I was 18 pregnant with my SO my mum freaked I was the worst person in the world by every I no.. They got over it & I told them if they don't like it to get lost and don't come back some people I still don't talk to I'm about to turn 22 still with my SO we have a house two new cars 3rd baby on the way and I'm studying to be a vet nurse so you can do it and show everyone how capable you are of being a great mother and getting somewhere in life! Don't listen to all the negative crap age doesn't define what type of mother you will be!