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☮Sugar Magnolia 1 child; Indiana 18298 posts
13th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" A few things here.... 1. Your husband wants to be included in medical decisions? Take it back to court ... [snip!] ... out the same way? 3. I never breastfed and my daughter is rarely sick, so....not sure what you are really getting at here."</blockquote>




This.




I feel so bad for this kid. Not because of his mom, But because it sucks to grow up with a step mom who can't stand you. Especially when you have done nothing to deserve it.



But, when he's old enough to make the decision, he'll probably decide to stop coming to see his dad because he knows how you feel about him, and i guess you'll win. :?

Mrs.Mud 6 kids; 2 angel babies; North Dakota 3279 posts
13th Apr '13
Quoting Ryleigh's Mama ♥:" Oh, okay. Do you have resentment towards the older one? IMO, it just doesn't seem very healthy :/ I ... [snip!] ... her, but try not to take it out on him. Also. I'd still have DH take him to the Dr.. poor little guy is probably miserable."


No, but his mother isn't a worthless pos. She lives 3 hours away, but still does her best (most of the time) so that my hsuband can spend time with him. She's willing to work with us. She's even brought him all the way down to us when we didn't have the gas money to meet halfway. She's a decent human being. R's mother is just horrible and I hate that my husband had a child with this awful person. I didn't feel like this in the beginning. I met R when he was 5 months old. I snuggled him and I sang him to sleep and I treated him like my own. But his mother has been just more and more awful as time goes on and I just find myself disliking him because of it. :( :( :(

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 45784 posts
13th Apr '13
Quoting Mrs.Mud:" If we could afford to go to court, we would've been there 2 years ago. He's at the doctor with him now, ... [snip!] ... of her other benefits, like lower her food stamps and shit. I'm telling you, this b***h is a worthless, welfare c*m-dumpster."


To clarify # 2 - if your child was sick tonight, would you go to the circus still? Would you be kicking up this much fuss?



Also, you need some serious counseling to get over your anger and hatred towards this woman.



Where is all this hatred coming from?

Ryleigh's Mama ♥ 17 kids; West Virginia 10703 posts
13th Apr '13
Quoting Mrs.Mud:" No, but his mother isn't a worthless pos. She lives 3 hours away, but still does her best (most of the ... [snip!] ... But his mother has been just more and more awful as time goes on and I just find myself disliking him because of it. :( :( :("


I'm sure if you could help your feelings, you obviously wouldn't have resentment towards a child who can't help that his mother can be an idiot. BUT, I do think you need to find a way to get that resentment out in a healthy way & not towards the child. He doesn't deserve that. He needs a loving environment in both homes. It could seriously mess him up if you loved all the other kids & treated him differently.

♥MomToSilas+1♥ Due December 9; 1 child; ., IL, United States 10853 posts
13th Apr '13
Quoting ☮Sugar Magnolia:" <blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" A few things here.... 1. Your husband ... [snip!] ... he'll probably decide to stop coming to see his dad because he knows how you feel about him, and i guess you'll win. :?"


Exactly. My dad's wife HATED me simply because she didn't like my mom. Or the way my mother chose to raise me. I ended up punching her in the face when I was 12 because she made a smartass comment to her friend regarding my mom(she didn't realize I was right behind her) and I didn't speak to my father again until I was 20.

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 45784 posts
13th Apr '13
Quoting ♥MamaToSilas♥:" Kids don't "belong with mommy" when they're sick. They belong with their parent. Doesn't matter which one."


Agreed!



What a ridiculous statement.

Ryleigh's Mama ♥ 17 kids; West Virginia 10703 posts
13th Apr '13
Quoting ☮Sugar Magnolia:" <blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" A few things here.... 1. Your husband ... [snip!] ... he'll probably decide to stop coming to see his dad because he knows how you feel about him, and i guess you'll win. :?"


:!:



Agreed. It's really sad.:?

Mrs.Mud 6 kids; 2 angel babies; North Dakota 3279 posts
13th Apr '13
Quoting CerealMakerWife♥:" Is he like extremely crabby with a high fever? If not I'd take him with. My DD has had a lot of ear infections and is usually fine to go places. Oh and I don't smoke and she was bfed. :lol:"


He's just kinda miserable. Not much of an appetite, flushed, fever has been hanging right around 100, but his ear drum is probably pounding enough without taking him to a loud circus.
There might not be any correlation to the fact that he's always sick and her actions, maybe (ok, probably) I just like to blame her. She's just so selfish. She didn't breastfeed any of her kids so that her b**bs wouldn't sag... I mean, come on. I'm very pro-bf'ing and I'm ok with people that legitimately can't do it, but to not even try is just very selfish imo.

castaway 2 kids; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 18739 posts
13th Apr '13

Poor little guy....




I understand your frustration, but kids do get sick. Some get sick a lot. Some go through phases where they are sick more often. It's not his fault. You really need to dig down deep for the sake of his wwellbeing and not make it worse. If his mother is really as rotten as you claim, he needs a safe haven. If you take your frustration out on him, you are as bad as his bio-mom. Is it easy to be the adult that takes the high road? Not always, maybe not even most of the time maybe, but don't be part of the problem. The poor kid will grow up feeling the tug of war, which is the worst place in hell to be.



I would take some calm reflection time to not point fingers at others but accept 'what is', and focus on what you can do to help make your family whole and this little guy feel loved, be happy, and not feellike he is thiscontentious source of conflict, which he no doubt does. Not fair to him. At all.




if his ex is really such a p***e o* s**t, why dwell on it and allow it to be fodder for you to have resentment towards your step son? Take life for what it is and choose to move forward.Your other options clearly aren't working.

Ryleigh's Mama ♥ 17 kids; West Virginia 10703 posts
13th Apr '13
Quoting Mrs.Mud:" He's just kinda miserable. Not much of an appetite, flushed, fever has been hanging right around 100, ... [snip!] ... on. I'm very pro-bf'ing and I'm ok with people that legitimately can't do it, but to not even try is just very selfish imo."


So you resent the baby because his Mom didn't breastfeed him? :?

Mrs.Mud 6 kids; 2 angel babies; North Dakota 3279 posts
13th Apr '13
Quoting ☮Sugar Magnolia:" <blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" A few things here.... 1. Your husband ... [snip!] ... he'll probably decide to stop coming to see his dad because he knows how you feel about him, and i guess you'll win. :?"


I don't want to "win". I want his mother to stop being a selfish c**t. I don't treat him poorly, I'm just not as "oh my poor baby" as I am when my kids are sick.

♥MomToSilas+1♥ Due December 9; 1 child; ., IL, United States 10853 posts
13th Apr '13
Quoting Mrs.Mud:" He's just kinda miserable. Not much of an appetite, flushed, fever has been hanging right around 100, ... [snip!] ... on. I'm very pro-bf'ing and I'm ok with people that legitimately can't do it, but to not even try is just very selfish imo."


Wtf? So then you must think A LOT of women are selfish because they just don't wanna breastfeed. The child is being fed. Plain and simple. Its non of your business.

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 45784 posts
13th Apr '13
Quoting Mrs.Mud:" I don't want to "win". I want his mother to stop being a selfish c**t. I don't treat him poorly, I'm just not as "oh my poor baby" as I am when my kids are sick."


How is she selfish?



The only things you've mentioned are her not breastfeeding and her making plans because her child is with their father.

Mrs.Mud 6 kids; 2 angel babies; North Dakota 3279 posts
13th Apr '13
Quoting pilot Jess:" Poor little guy.... I understand you are frustration, but kids do get sick. Some get sick a lot. ... [snip!] ... towards your step son? Take life for what it is and choose to move forward.Your other options clearly aren't working."


I appreciate the calm and helpful advice, thank you.

Mrs.Mud 6 kids; 2 angel babies; North Dakota 3279 posts
13th Apr '13
Quoting ♥MamaToSilas♥:" Wtf? So then you must think A LOT of women are selfish because they just don't wanna breastfeed. The child is being fed. Plain and simple. Its non of your business."


Yes. I think that not even trying to give your baby the best food on earth for them is selfish. That's my opinion and I'm entitled to it.