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How? martinez♥ Due February 13; 2 kids; Fort Myers, Florida 2593 posts
13th Apr '13

My husband just left. Actually, I told him to. There's a lot of stuff happening that we've been trying to fix for over a year, and it just doesn't look like it's going anywhere. There's also some things happening that I don't feel comfortable posting about here on BG, but anyways..



How do I do this? I still love him so much despite everything, and in reality it wasn't anything between us that led to this. It was mostly his stepdaughters reactions to me and my daughter and he refuses to send her to live with her mom and I can't keep her in the house any longer with my daughters.



I love him and I want to be with him and everything inside me is screaming at me to go get him. How do I keep myself from doing that when I know I'm doing what's best for my daughters?



Please don't quote if you respond.

BABY MAKES TWO Due September 16; Australia 193 posts
13th Apr '13

What was her reaction like?

Naturally Alternative 34 kids; 2 angel babies; Lafayette, Louisiana 5640 posts
13th Apr '13

Without having full details it's hard to give advice...



But if you want to try and work it out, I'd suggest counseling. Both couple's, family, and maybe counseling for the step daughter.



And again, without details, I must admit I give him props for not shipping off his daughter for his new wife...

~mama~ 3 kids; Susanville, CA, United States 1354 posts
13th Apr '13

You both have to do what is best for your kids. Obviously he thinks it would be best for his daughter to be with him and you don't want her around your kids for whatever reason so you have no choice but to accept it or try to fix the reason you don't want her around your kids... I'm really curious to know why you/your kids didn't meet her before you got married?

martinez♥ Due February 13; 2 kids; Fort Myers, Florida 2593 posts
13th Apr '13
Quoting Tasha Lee88:" What was her reaction like? "


Well, we've been together 8 years. My daughter accused his daughter of sexually molesting her. When I told him about it, but left out names, he was adamant we needed to look into it. When my daughter told him that his daughter was doing it, he insisted my daughter was lying. He's the father of both of my girls. He says my daughter is lying and making it up and if I believe it I can put cameras or call the police because he won't do anything. His daughter has lived with us for almost 3 years.

BABY MAKES TWO Due September 16; Australia 193 posts
13th Apr '13
Quoting Naturally Alternative~25w:" Without having full details it's hard to give advice... But if you want to try and work it out, I'd ... [snip!] ... step daughter. And again, without details, I must admit I give him props for not shipping off his daughter for his new wife..."

I agree with Naturally Alternative~25w about giving props to husband for not abandoning his daughter and it isn't fair to make him...I mean how would you feel if he asked you to ship off your kids. And then expected you to help raise his daughter

martinez♥ Due February 13; 2 kids; Fort Myers, Florida 2593 posts
13th Apr '13

My husband and I have been together 8 years. We have two children together, a 3 and a half year old and a 2 month old. He was an illegal immigrant so obviously his daughter didn't live with us. Just before we got married he got his papers and was able to bring his daughter to live with us almost 3 years ago. The past 2 years she has lashed out several times at my oldest.

Autumn Whisper 1 child; Utah 9977 posts
13th Apr '13
Quoting martinez♥:" Well, we've been together 8 years. My daughter accused his daughter of sexually molesting her. When ... [snip!] ... it I can put cameras or call the police because he won't do anything. His daughter has lived with us for almost 3 years."


How old is your daughter?



If she's little, that's a very grown up concept, and she's obviously getting it from somewhere, so where does he think this idea came into her head from?



What EXACTLY did your daughter say?

BABY MAKES TWO Due September 16; Australia 193 posts
13th Apr '13
Quoting martinez♥:" Well, we've been together 8 years. My daughter accused his daughter of sexually molesting her. When ... [snip!] ... it I can put cameras or call the police because he won't do anything. His daughter has lived with us for almost 3 years."

Ouch ok that is very freaking serious I take back my statement he really needs to do something...she doesn't need to be put through that :oops: sorry for my comment I didn't read this

.:Mini.Me:. 1 child; Arizona 406 posts
13th Apr '13

How old is his daughter? and why.. how.. does your 3 and a half year old know what molesting means..

Naturally Alternative 34 kids; 2 angel babies; Lafayette, Louisiana 5640 posts
13th Apr '13
Quoting martinez♥:" My daughter accused his daughter of sexually molesting her."


It definitely sounds like his daughter needs some counseling... and to find out if it's true or if someone's lying.

. Way, MA, United States 73772 posts
13th Apr '13

You're doing the right thing imo. If my LO said that about anyone finding out would be my number one priority, even if it meant my husband moving out. This has to be very hard for you but your daughter needs you and too many kids have situations like this just brushed off like it's nothing.

martinez♥ Due February 13; 2 kids; Fort Myers, Florida 2593 posts
13th Apr '13

Ive noticed my daughter who turned 3 in December has been red below and trying to shove toys inside her. I figured it was curiosity or something but didn't mention it as I assumed it was experimenting or something, especially since she doesn't ever really put them inside. Then she told me I couldn't wash her because it hurts. I told her "No, mommy be careful. Mommy won't hurt you." And she said "Lara hurts me there." I was surprised but pushed it aside again, thinking maybe she washed her too rough. A few days later she was doing the thing with trying to put the toys inside again and I asked her why she does that and she said "Lara puts them there".

martinez♥ Due February 13; 2 kids; Fort Myers, Florida 2593 posts
13th Apr '13

Btw, his daughter is 12 years old. And we have had to have discussions with her about the fact that it's not okay to hit my 3 year old or jerk her around.

. Way, MA, United States 73772 posts
13th Apr '13
Quoting martinez♥:" Ive noticed."

Yeah, hell no. You're doing the right thing.