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Are your kids "spoiled"? MahmuhMahmuh 3 kids; Wichita, Kansas 6706 posts
14th Apr '13

I have a friend who has two daughters. They are both very "give me, give me, what did you get me?" She lives on a tight budget and often spends the extra on herself before them (their needs are always met, I'm not calling this neglect, at all). She often remarks about my kids being "spoiled" or "always getting something" which they are, I love to get them surprises, just little things, the other day they were at school and I put back these pants I had picked up to get them these kid sized camelback water bottles that I thought were just adorable. I don't need clothes, they don't need the water bottles. I don't see the problem, they don't throw fits for me or their grandparents to get things (they have 3 sets of grandparents and a host of aunts and uncles here in the same city, which is where a lot of the "spoiling" comes from) for anything or "what they got them" none of it is expected, and they know what it's like to be told no. They are generally well behaved kids, and quite frankly it just annoys me that she calls them spoiled when her kids act like entitled brats quite frequently. I took her kids and mine for ice cream cones the other day and one of her daughters actually crossed her arms and got mad because she wanted a sundae, not just a plain ice cream cone, and was mad that I didn't ask her what she wanted, even though all the other kids got the same thing.



Now that this has turned into a rant, are your kids "spoiled"? Does it bother you when people say this? I know it shouldn't bother me, but it does. I think there is a difference in doing extra for a kid who is grateful and respectful vs. doing for a kid just because they expect it.

jazzzzz* 2 kids; Beverly Hills, California 7558 posts
14th Apr '13

My daughter is spoiled, it's all my fault. No I do not like anyone else to point it out.

Squeaky McGee [16 wks] Due May 7; 2 kids; 3 angel babies; Indiana 65908 posts
14th Apr '13

Not by me, but my MIL is constantly buying her stuff - which I'm less than thrilled about.

BRowell 3 kids; 2 angel babies; Bristol, TN, United States 3727 posts
14th Apr '13

I just bought my kids camelbak water bottles the other day! :) idk. Mine are spoiled I guess, but more by nana and papaw then by DH and I. DD is usually good about not expecting things but every now and then she'll act like the girl you described with the ice cream so, half and half I guess. Lol

Leah+2 2 kids; Texas 5797 posts
14th Apr '13

I walk a fine line. I like to get him things but if I don't or can't afford it I tell him no and he is fine with that.



My mom and her husband tend to buy him things to make up for not spending time with him or saying they'll come over and then don't. I find it very annoying, Like they're buying his love. They live right across the street so yeah...

MahmuhMahmuh 3 kids; Wichita, Kansas 6706 posts
14th Apr '13
Quoting Squeaky McGee [24 wks]:" Not by me, but my MIL is constantly buying her stuff - which I'm less than thrilled about."


But does she act like she is supposed to get everything that is given to her? Idk, I mean my kids rarely get "extravagant" anything, otherwise it might bother me, and usually what their grandparents buy them is clothes or hair barrettes for my daughter, toys and such are saved for special occassions. But my kids even get excited about a new shirt or pair of shoes, so it's fun to surprise them.

Serenity,Kenzie,& Lilly's 2 kids; Mississippi 1284 posts
14th Apr '13

My girls are spoiled to a point. Their not getting something every time I go out and they hardly ever ask for anything. I am fine with people telling me their spoiled. I never had anything growing up parents where flat ass broke. On holidays and birthdays we got homemade items and one a piece and I promise it was nothing a child ever wanted I hated going to school after Christmas and getting asked what did you get.lol momma made me a pillow. So when I have the extra money they get something. We start saving on the first of the year for birthdays and Christmas to make sure they always get something.

Jennybananna 2 kids; Gilbert, AZ, United States 25079 posts
14th Apr '13

Yes they are but they don't act like it. If they did the spoiling would stop and things would be donated.

Take me as I am 18 kids; Wyoming 1669 posts
14th Apr '13

I will admit my kids are spoiled beyond what's needed. SO and I have our own business and live a pretty comfortable life and I am trying to give my kids everything and them some on what I didn't have when I was growing up. Is it a good idea, heck no because I'm teaching them they get what they want but it's hard to say no. I know it's bad. It will bite me in the ass big time that I know.

♥ Dani ♥ 2 kids; Washington 854 posts
14th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting MahmuhMahmuh:</b>" I have a friend who has two daughters. They are both very "give me, give me, what did you get me?" She ... [snip!] ... there is a difference in doing extra for a kid who is grateful and respectful vs. doing for a kid just because they expect it."</blockquote>



Im like you. if we have the extra money and no one needs anything i will spend that money on dd before i get myself something. we also like to get her stuff just because every once in a while. at the same time if there is a special toy she wants thats not cheap we will make her save a specific amount of money before she can get it. we let her keep her savings and buy it for her after she saves the set amount. but it still teaches her the point if saving for what you want and not just expecting to get it.

MahmuhMahmuh 3 kids; Wichita, Kansas 6706 posts
14th Apr '13
Quoting Bubba Monster's Mommy:" I walk a fine line. I like to get him things but if I don't or can't afford it I tell him no and he is ... [snip!] ... come over and then don't. I find it very annoying, Like they're buying his love. They live right across the street so yeah..."



I understand being annoyed by that, for every birthday or Christmas it is guaranteed that my dad and his wife will show up bearing the biggest gifts, they have the most spare time and spend the least time with the kids, it's usually my mom and her husband and their stepmom's parents who see them most often.

Squeaky McGee [16 wks] Due May 7; 2 kids; 3 angel babies; Indiana 65908 posts
14th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting MahmuhMahmuh:</b>" But does she act like she is supposed to get everything that is given to her? Idk, I mean my kids rarely ... [snip!] ... saved for special occassions. But my kids even get excited about a new shirt or pair of shoes, so it's fun to surprise them."</blockquote>




Only with MIL. She knows if she wants something, she'll get it.

Lauralie89 3 kids; Pennsylvania 2244 posts
14th Apr '13

SO spoils our boys something awful. Even if he runs to the Walmart for one or two small things he comes back with a new Thomas train or movie for DS1 or a ball for DS2 lol. But they don't really act spoiled.

Lizzie+2 2 kids; Brazil 26591 posts
14th Apr '13

My LO is very spoiled but she doesn't act like a brat and say "give me give me give me" we can go out and buy her w/e and she'll appreciate it. But we spoil her w/out her asking lol if that made sense lmao

MahmuhMahmuh 3 kids; Wichita, Kansas 6706 posts
14th Apr '13
Quoting lizzie♥ +2:" My LO is very spoiled but she doesn't act like a brat and say "give me give me give me" we can go out ... [snip!] ... give me" we can go out and buy her w/e and she'll appreciate it. But we spoil her w/out her asking lol if that made sense lmao"



That's a lot like how my kids are, yeah sure they get a lot that they don't need, but they don't ask, they don't expect it, and they're thankful for what they're given. If that's spoiled, fine, I guess.. but they aren't greedy brats, I buy and do because I want to.