Don't quote, please.
I watch porn and get jealous of all the girls fucking dudes with dicks that look super hard... even in amateur porn. (With that being said, I definitely don't actually want anyone else's... I just want his to work...) We rarely can get it stiff enough for penetration, so it's like we're getting each other off with oral all the time, which is good... But I want to be FUCKED... You know, with a penis that feels erect, not squishy. And probably for more than just 45 seconds.
Ugh. And I don't even know how to say something to him or if I even should. I don't want to hurt his feelings or make him feel bad... He must notice something is up anyway because we've been having sex less than we used to and 3 out of 4 times that we do, it's either not hard enough and we just do oral... or he ends up getting soft and having to stop and just give me oral.
I don't know if something is wrong or if our sex life has been shot to hell ever since I was 5 months pregnant and starting to actually LOOK pregnant... and it'll go back to normal afterward? Anyway, I don't know... It seems like he notices. I mean, he has to notice that the majority of the time we have sex, it's like that now. Always the same thing too... Oral on him to get him hard enough, maybe, missionary for him to finish, then he goes down on me. We can't venture off the path because we stop to readjust or reposition for even 5 seconds, it could mean the end of it for lack of hard penis. Oh, and it's hard for him to get it up sometimes, not always, with just me... usually he looks at porn and then comes at me with a hard dick. By the time his shorts are off and he's in bed, though, it's softened up quite a bit. It's like a race every time.
The point of the post is not for opinions on what's wrong... It could be anything, really. He's on a bunch of prescriptions, he has a mental health diagnosis, he's looking for a new job before his contract ends in July, he's about to be a father for the first time in his life, blah blah blah... I could go on. Who knows what it is? I just want him to see that I notice and am curious what's going on... but without making him feel shitty or something. Ugh, don't quote me.
I hate writing all of this personal stuff on here, but I feel like I need to say it to someone who might know what it's like or know what I should do... and who doesn't know us in person... I love him so much, I do. He's a very compassionate, understanding, loving man and he treats my son like his own. We get along great and I'm so lucky to have him. I just wish that the sex was still as great as it used to be... I don't even care anymore if it's not as often. I just want to have sex with him and it actually feel like he's HARD for me and to have awesome sex like we used to.
*Hugs* Hubby and I went through a period of this too when he was younger. It sucked hardcore. I can't even remember how many times I ended up crying over it. :(
Is he on medication of some sort that may be effecting his erections?
Could his medications be messing with his blood flow?
Quoting Mrs. God of Thunder:" Is he on medication of some sort that may be effecting his erections?"
He's been on all of the same medications since I've been with him except for a new medication to assist in keeping his blood pressure in a good range. That's the only one that has changed since I've known him. So I guess it could be that. But it doesn't help to suspect that any if he's not going to mention it to his doctor...
:cry: wow... I imagine thats hard on both of you. Maybe he can take viagra or something?
I went through this with an ex boyfriend. He turned out to be gay, then he killed himself after he came out of the closet.
But that's my only experience, and I'm trying trying to say your SO is gay.
I'm sure it's his medications, bring it up how you're not satisfied and how you'd like him to go to a doctor about it.
Quoting The Purple Penguin:" He's been on all of the same medications since I've been with him except for a new medication to assist ... [snip!] ... him. So I guess it could be that. But it doesn't help to suspect that any if he's not going to mention it to his doctor..."
Had he used any illegal drugs? Even pot can effect it.
Oh wow thats rough. I wouldnt even begin to know how to approach. Im sure he's noticed and is wondering if you will say something. Maybe just come right out and say it
That sucks but I'm glad to hear you are not blaming yourself, because it is probably stress and his medication. I hope you guys can figure it out, that's frustrating!
Quoting .t a y l o r.:" Could his medications be messing with his blood flow? "
Sure. He's on blood pressure meds. And one of those is the only prescription of his that has been changed since I've known him. He's on a lot of others, but that is the only one that is different. I remember him telling me when he got the new prescription that his doctor told him it would probably make him need to pee more often, but that's it. And the prescription is the only thing that makes sense to me as far as what could be causing it because it that prescription change occured around the same time as these issues began AND he gained 20 lbs. rather quickly.
But what does any of this guessing matter if he doesn't tell his doctor. He acts like there's not a problem with me... even though I feel like he's GOT to notice, so why would he tell the doctor?
Quoting Mrs. God of Thunder:" Had he used any illegal drugs? Even pot can effect it."
He does smoke a lot of pot... But he's been doing that since LONG before he and I got together. So that's not something new and the sex wasn't always like this.
Quoting The Purple Penguin:" Sure. He's on blood pressure meds. And one of those is the only prescription of his that has been changed ... [snip!] ... He acts like there's not a problem with me... even though I feel like he's GOT to notice, so why would he tell the doctor?"
Has he said why he doesn't want to tell his doctor? That makes it seem like HE knows why it's happening but a) doesn't want to tell you or b) doesn't care if it gets fixed. Maybe he's depressed because of stress and all of that?
Quoting 11 weeks with #3!:" :cry: wow... I imagine thats hard on both of you. Maybe he can take viagra or something?"
Not if he doesn't talk to the doctor... If he's not mentioned a problem to me, I don't know why he would mention it to his doctor. He's never said anything that indicated to me that he realized there is a problem. This has only actually been a problem for the past 2 or 2 1/2 months.
Quoting .t a y l o r.:" Has he said why he doesn't want to tell his doctor? That makes it seem like HE knows why it's happening ... [snip!] ... but a) doesn't want to tell you or b) doesn't care if it gets fixed. Maybe he's depressed because of stress and all of that?"
No. It's just that there's no acknowledgement that there's a problem... Neither of us are saying anything. I, for one, don't know how. And I'm just assuming that he notices that there's got to be a problem...
He's never said that he wouldn't talk to the doctor because we've never talked about it.