Reply
Sharing can lead to entitlement? TrixieGirl Due July 4; 1 child; Maryland 1175 posts
17th Apr '13

I came across this article today and I found it pretty interesting.
What do you think about the article?



http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/lifestyle/2013/04/should-little-kids-be-forced-to-share-in-preschool/




By ABC News
Apr 17, 2013 7:57am
ABC News

Mandy and her girls!~ 3 kids; Illinois 10398 posts
17th Apr '13

They say they are already seeing this in the next generation but that doesn't make any sense. Weren't our parents and even grandparents taught to share as well? Sharing is not something new. Sounds like a new way to bring up brats.

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59940 posts
17th Apr '13

I absolutely believe sharing is important. But, IMO, sharing IS waiting until the child is done with the toy, and then sharing it with the other kid, not hoarding a toy because you don't want another kid to play with it even when you're not using it.



I think there has to be a medium. No, telling the child to hand over the toy to the other child immediately isn't right, neither is teaching kids they don't have to share (toys that aren't theirs, by the way! In a preschool setting, it's not their toy, it's the center's toy which all children in the room should have access to).



So, again... middle ground. Sharing should not mean immediately handing over the toy to the other child that wants it. But it shouldn't mean that a child does not share (especially when the toy is not theirs to begin with).

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 46201 posts
status 17th Apr '13

I agree 100%.



Having a child wait until the other child is finished playing with a toy also teaches patience.



Why should a child have to give up a toy they were playing with just because someone else wants to use it? Especially if it is a toy that only one person can play with....

NopeNotGonnaDOIt 6 kids; Cuba 3000 posts
17th Apr '13

This is because we teach how to be materialistic from day one. Only a couple generations ago there were not so many useless toys circulating. We have to teach sharing because we teach ownership first.. maybe thats what needs to be addressed.

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 46201 posts
status 17th Apr '13
Quoting Mandy and her girls!~:" They say they are already seeing this in the next generation but that doesn't make any sense. Weren't ... [snip!] ... parents and even grandparents taught to share as well? Sharing is not something new. Sounds like a new way to bring up brats."


How?



If Johnny is playing with a toy firetruck and Jimmy wants it, so someone takes it from Johnny and gives it to Jimmy, how is that teaching Jimmy "to share"?



It's teaching Jimmy that he can take whatever he wants. THAT is entitlement and THAT is a major issue in the generations that are coming up now.

yo moyo 1 child; Ishim, Russian Federation 1335 posts
17th Apr '13
Quoting Mandy and her girls!~:" They say they are already seeing this in the next generation but that doesn't make any sense. Weren't ... [snip!] ... parents and even grandparents taught to share as well? Sharing is not something new. Sounds like a new way to bring up brats."


Agreed. I think learning how to share is good, though it may be difficult for a toddler in the beginning.

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59940 posts
17th Apr '13
Quoting speaktruth2powr:" How? If Johnny is playing with a toy firetruck and Jimmy wants it, so someone takes it from Johnny ... [snip!] ... that he can take whatever he wants. THAT is entitlement and THAT is a major issue in the generations that are coming up now."


See, I think "sharing" needs to be defined. Because IMO, sharing just means that every kid gets a chance to play with the toy, not taking it from a child that's using it and handing it over to the other child.



Maybe a better example would be a class computer. One child shouldn't (for many varying reasons, but we'll use the sharing example) sit on the class computer all day and not let the other kids use it. So, saying, okay, Johnny is using the computer right now, he will use it for X amount of time, and then Jimmy can play with something else while he waits for his turn. Patience and sharing.

Stfu Squirrel District of Columbia 8554 posts
17th Apr '13
Quoting The Doctor:" I absolutely believe sharing is important. But, IMO, sharing IS waiting until the child is done with ... [snip!] ... child that wants it. But it shouldn't mean that a child does not share (especially when the toy is not theirs to begin with)."


This.



I've never understood sharing to mean, "Some other kid wants your toy, so you need to give it to him now because that's sharing."
No. We explain to the second kid that the first kid is using the object, and when he is finished using it, it will be someone else's turn.



I don't see why this is even an issue. Does no one have common sense anymore?

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36553 posts
17th Apr '13
Quoting speaktruth2powr:" How? If Johnny is playing with a toy firetruck and Jimmy wants it, so someone takes it from Johnny ... [snip!] ... that he can take whatever he wants. THAT is entitlement and THAT is a major issue in the generations that are coming up now."


I totally agree. I have taught my son to ask for a toy when the other kid is done playing with it... Not taking it. That is so wrong, imo.

Sneakmom 2 kids; Texas 4861 posts
17th Apr '13

We do this at our house and guess what? My two and a half year old has started voluntarily taking turns with toys like the push car. She'll get up and say "ok! Zoey done! Tristan's turn!"



She even shares special toys like her leappad, shows him how to watch movies, everything.



Instead of focusing on "you have to share because someone else wants your toy" which can be stressful for toddlers who enjoy the word "mine", we focus on being nice, not grabbing or pushing... And I'm very pleased with the results so far. I reprimand my 9 month old son for snatching and pushing the same way I reprimand my 2.5 year old daughter, so DD sees that we're going to be consistent and protect her time playing with her toys too. Of course, obviously not very effective with the little baby yet but at least he learned the word "no" out of it!

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 46201 posts
status 17th Apr '13
Quoting The Doctor:" See, I think "sharing" needs to be defined. Because IMO, sharing just means that every kid gets a chance ... [snip!] ... use it for X amount of time, and then Jimmy can play with something else while he waits for his turn. Patience and sharing."


Exactly! That is my point.....far too often, sharing is taking from one child to give to the other.



I think the "No Sharing" policy wording needs to be revised to a "Wait Your Turn" policy.

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59940 posts
17th Apr '13
Quoting speaktruth2powr:" Exactly! That is my point.....far too often, sharing is taking from one child to give to the other. I think the "No Sharing" policy wording needs to be revised to a "Wait Your Turn" policy."


Absolutely!

user banned 3 kids; Washington 15083 posts
17th Apr '13

In my home if the kids are playing with toys and the other one wants it, the second has to wait until the first is done. Unless it's a new toy or favored toy that we don't have double of. If that's the case we set the timer for 5 min. Repeating until they are done. And when we have company we ask them to let their friends play it, because once they leave our kid can play with it all they want. So far, haven't had any issues. DH and I weren't thinking in terms of entitlements... Just fairness.

Mandy and her girls!~ 3 kids; Illinois 10398 posts
17th Apr '13
Quoting speaktruth2powr:" How? If Johnny is playing with a toy firetruck and Jimmy wants it, so someone takes it from Johnny ... [snip!] ... that he can take whatever he wants. THAT is entitlement and THAT is a major issue in the generations that are coming up now."


I don't agree with taking a toy immediately away I should have clarified that. I do believe in sharing though and they are saying that until the child is done playing. There are some kids who will hang on to an object even if they're not playing with it just so another kid can't have it. I think that a child should understand that they can't have something just because they ask but the other child should have a limit, especially at a daycare where those toys aren't even "his".