Reply
What would you do? Noah and Baby J's mommy 2 kids; Oregon 3454 posts
18th Apr '13

My husband has a parenting plan with his daughters mother. It says:
Every other weekend from 3:30friday until 3:30 sunday afternoon is hers.
She gets to be the first one to be the "baby sitter" If need be.




My husband works monday-friday 2 weeks, then saturday-wednesday 2 weeks. He offered to send K two weeks in a row instead of every other. She did not like that idea. He refuses (with good reason, he suspects sexual abuse going on at the house but we cant prove it) to let her have her the extra weekend.



We spoke with our lawyer and asked him if I am considered a "babysitter" when my husband is at work, Im not because we are legally married. She is now texting me saying she will be here to pick up K with the sheriff.



Honestly I know she wont show up when my husband is home friday night, she will show up when he is at work Saturday morning. We have a ton of stuff to do saturday, and I just got told to go onto modified bed rest so I cant avoid the house all day. We have debated putting up a no trespassing sign (Oregon law states as long as its posted she cant come on the property without permission and can get a trespassing charge the first time.) My main concern is K seeing what is going to unfold. Honestly that is worse then anything else, she already knows her mom talks constant shit about me but I try to remain neutral around K.

The Pretty Poodle™ 1 child; Illinois 7341 posts
18th Apr '13

Honestly, let her show up. I'm pretty sure the shit will blow up in her face.

☮Sugar Magnolia 1 child; Indiana 18298 posts
18th Apr '13

Does K have a friend she can play in your back yard with? That way she'll be occupied the whole time and won't even know what happens. I doubt a sheriff will show up if what you're doing is legal.

Noah and Baby J's mommy 2 kids; Oregon 3454 posts
18th Apr '13
Quoting ☮Sugar Magnolia:" Does K have a friend she can play in your back yard with? That way she'll be occupied the whole time and won't even know what happens. I doubt a sheriff will show up if what you're doing is legal."



We already know the sheriff wont show up with her. She has called them multiple times on us and they never show, we live in a rural area with 3 sheriffs for the county, they have bigger fish to fry. No one around us, but I could take her over to my parents house, which is like a block away.

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 46394 posts
status 18th Apr '13

From what I've read, and what I know from my own case, step-parents are not considered 'babysitters', neither are grandparents.



She doesn't have a leg to stand on.



If she continues to harass you and use the custody order like a weapon, I'd take her back to court.



FROR is a hotly contested clause, usually because of immature parents who are using it to control the situation instead of co-parenting for the best interests of the child.

Noah and Baby J's mommy 2 kids; Oregon 3454 posts
18th Apr '13
Quoting speaktruth2powr:" From what I've read, and what I know from my own case, step-parents are not considered 'babysitters', ... [snip!] ... of immature parents who are using it to control the situation instead of co-parenting for the best interests of the child."



Her whole goal is to control the situation. The shrink has told us that several times after talking to K. I dont understand why either because my husband is so willing to work with her and adjust things as needed. Well I do the woman hates me now that there is another female in her life.



We are working on a plan of action with our lawyer currently to see if we can avoid court and get her to mutually agree.

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 46394 posts
status 18th Apr '13
Quoting Noahs Mommy =]:" Her whole goal is to control the situation. The shrink has told us that several times after talking ... [snip!] ... We are working on a plan of action with our lawyer currently to see if we can avoid court and get her to mutually agree. "


If you are finding that she is not willing to work with you, talk to your lawyer about getting a "Guardian ad Litem" for your step-daughter.



Essentially, this would be a person who would be brought on to solely represent the child's rights. They would interview both parents, check out both households, talk to doctors/therapists, etc. They will put it all in a report and present it to the courts.