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Kelly&Coralie 1 child; Rochester, New York 55006 posts
19th Apr '13
Quoting Clk:" No I would let him go so he can find someone to have kids with. It would just be kind of cruel to keep ... [snip!] ... to keep stringing someone along even unintentionally giving false hope that I may change my mind some day just by keeping him."


I'm trying to! But the man is persistant. He says he wants to be with me. He's been trying to get me to date him for a while. And he KNOWS I won't want more kids.



But I know how much he wants them. Which is why we aren't dating right now. I donb't think it is fair to him



But he keeps on about dating me.



I don't know what to do

Clk 2 kids; Dexter, Michigan 11517 posts
19th Apr '13
Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" I'm trying to! But the man is persistant. He says he wants to be with me. He's been trying to get me ... [snip!] ... is why we aren't dating right now. I donb't think it is fair to him But he keeps on about dating me. I don't know what to do"


Just keep saying no then. Perhaps explain to him very directly that you will never have more kids no matter what.

Nathan Young 2 kids; Syracuse, New York 57578 posts
19th Apr '13
Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" I'm trying to! But the man is persistant. He says he wants to be with me. He's been trying to get me ... [snip!] ... is why we aren't dating right now. I donb't think it is fair to him But he keeps on about dating me. I don't know what to do"


I think as long as you are being honest with him, it's up to him to decide if not having kids is a deal breaker or not.

user banned Logan, Utah 3594 posts
19th Apr '13
Quoting The Doctor:" I think as long as you are being honest with him, it's up to him to decide if not having kids is a deal breaker or not."


:!::!:

Claire-Bear (15 weeks) Due September 29; 1 child; 1 angel baby; Grande Prairie, AB, Canada 714 posts
19th Apr '13

I don't think anybody should ever settle for less than they want out of life and if he wants kids than its unfair to ask him to give that up. A friend of mine started dating a guy and he told her in the beginning that he already had two kids and he didn't want anymore and she pretended to be fine with that because she really liked him. A couple years into the relationship they started talking about getting engaged and she finally told him how she would really like at least one child with him and he wasn't ok with that. Within a couple months he broke up with her and it broke her heart. It was a really sad situation and it took her a long time to get over him, but she believes it was for the best now because she'd always regret never having her own kids.

Nathan Young 2 kids; Syracuse, New York 57578 posts
19th Apr '13
Quoting Luv My Claire-Bear:" I don't think anybody should ever settle for less than they want out of life and if he wants kids than ... [snip!] ... a long time to get over him, but she believes it was for the best now because she'd always regret never having her own kids."


IMO, part of that is on her for not being honest with him or herself about wanting kids.



My aunt, for example, wanted kids, ended up marrying someone who did not and decided she was fine with that in the long run.

Claire-Bear (15 weeks) Due September 29; 1 child; 1 angel baby; Grande Prairie, AB, Canada 714 posts
19th Apr '13
Quoting The Doctor:" IMO, part of that is on her for not being honest with him or herself about wanting kids. My aunt, ... [snip!] ... My aunt, for example, wanted kids, ended up marrying someone who did not and decided she was fine with that in the long run."


I completely agree and I told her from the start that if she stayed with him she'd always regret not having her own children, especially cause she loves kids and has I know she's always wanted to be a mother. She kept saying how it didn't matter to her and that she just wanted to be with him, but I could tell she wasn't happy about the decision. I think she was secretly hoping he'd change his mind after they got married, but I knew he was dead set in his decision.

Nathan Young 2 kids; Syracuse, New York 57578 posts
19th Apr '13
Quoting Luv My Claire-Bear:" I completely agree and I told her from the start that if she stayed with him she'd always regret not ... [snip!] ... I think she was secretly hoping he'd change his mind after they got married, but I knew he was dead set in his decision."


Yeah, and I think a lot of relationships are broken for this reason. Someone or both people not being honest with their partner or themselves, hoping the other person will just change to fit what they want.

Rain (aka Mama) 3 kids; Monroe, Georgia 6465 posts
19th Apr '13
Quoting The Doctor:" I think as long as you are being honest with him, it's up to him to decide if not having kids is a deal breaker or not."


I agree completely.



If you've already told him that you don't want anymore and that you're not budging on the issue at all, then it's kind of up to him at that point.

Elle With FOUR! 4 kids; Wichita, KS, United States 18964 posts
19th Apr '13

Nope. I couldn't give them false hope like that. I feel bad, honestly, knowing SO wanted more, knowing that I physically HAVE to stop after this one.