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saageex3 Due August 3; 1 child; New York 6261 posts
Apr 19th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Legendary Amanda:</b>" Yeah I wasn't insinuating that you're lazy or anything! I just don't want you to go into this discussion ... [snip!] ... run when you do live together because obviously you had some sort of disconnect there last time? But whatever, good luck!"</blockquote>




Oh no don't worry I would never attack him over this. It's honestly not this huge deal to me but it just bothered me a bit. I texted him and said that I think we should sit down and discuss money so that we can find a happy, do-able, medium.

Ashley; Kenley's Mommy! 1 child; Wisconsin 15117 posts
Apr 19th '13

We have a joint bank account. He doesn't mind what I use the money on.

thats me. :) 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Edmonton, Alberta 3385 posts
Apr 19th '13
Quoting Ivana, expecting #3!:" wow all you ladies are lucky to be able to spend money willy nilly!! lol I wish!!! "



yeah, but I also have a part time job. I make about 1/4 of what he does. Its always been our money. we try not to look at it as my money and his money....

*Lindsey* 3 kids; Alberta 8816 posts
Apr 19th '13

we are married so his money is my money. I dont ask for it or what i can spend it on. I spend it on what i want and need when i want it haha. Before we were married i still just had a copy of his debit card and used it for all the groceries and whatever else we need.

JoAnna &hearts's Jett 2 kids; Midlothian, TX, United States 7780 posts
Apr 19th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting saageex3:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting JoAnna ♥'s Jett:</b>" We both have debit cards, I spend ... [snip!] ... thought it was a big deal until I realized that when I graduate we are moving out and I don't even know what we could afford"</blockquote>




The reason why I found out all of our account stuff, was because he deployed and they were about to repo our truck because I wasn't on any of the accounts. It was hell. So now I deal with everything and he never questions my spending.

Summerfrost 51 kids; Massachusetts 6871 posts
Apr 20th '13

In a situation where you're living separately but have a daughter together, it would be more like he should be paying child support. I think it would be kind of weird to ask some guy I'm not living with for a debit card to his bank account. Sharing money can be messy. Right now you share a daughter, but not your whole life .. you know?




If you were married and a SAHM, it's a different story. With us, we do the food shopping together because we both hate it. :) I do all of the cooking and cleaning and kid stuff (dr's appointments, day to day stuff). If i need money, I tell him what I need and why, but we both have debit cards to the same account. If i needed money for some reason, I would just take it and explain later.



Since I'm not working right now and I'm in school, money is obviously limited. Because of that, we do a lot of free kid type activities, like the park for example.

Munchkin Maker 2 kids; Maryland 733 posts
Apr 20th '13
Quoting Summerfrost:" In a situation where you're living separately but have a daughter together, it would be more like he ... [snip!] ... I'm in school, money is obviously limited. Because of that, we do a lot of free kid type activities, like the park for example."


We're the same way. Money isn't tight, but we conserve and prepare for setbacks. So we do tons of free stuff with DD, it helps that we live 20 feet from the potomac river, and close to harpers ferry and the tourist attractions. Honestly she doesn't care what we're doing, she just loves everything at this age lol.
We do the grocery shopping together, just because its SOOOO much easier. DD is at the age where she can be difficult when/if she gets bored.



TrixieGirl Due July 4; 1 child; Maryland 1175 posts
Apr 20th '13

So who claims you on your taxes? Do you claim yourself? Who claims your daughter? Does he claim you? If your SO claim's you I think that then, it would be fair for you to say that you should be allowed an equall say in how the money is managed...

Severus Snape 2 kids; Tennessee 3550 posts
Apr 20th '13

I am a SAHM and we have a joint account and we both agree on whatever purchases are made. Of course we don't have extra as often as we'd like but if we do we either split it down the middle so we each get some splurge money or go out to dinner together or whatever. Occasionally he will get more or I will depending on what we want and what's going on but it's not like a "permission" situation, its deciding as a family the right thing to do.



Yall's situation is very strange though. I agree that you should both sit down and talk about it. You need to discuss a plan that works for both of you to eliminate any awkwardness or degrading bullshit. I hope you find a way to move out in a place together soon. Good luck OP!

saageex3 Due August 3; 1 child; New York 6261 posts
Apr 20th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Severus Snape:</b>" I am a SAHM and we have a joint account and we both agree on whatever purchases are made. Of course we ... [snip!] ... to eliminate any awkwardness or degrading bullshit. I hope you find a way to move out in a place together soon. Good luck OP!"</blockquote>




Our situation is very weird lol but thank you :)! I can't wait to move forward in our life

Monsters² Mom Due August 16; 2 kids; 4 angel babies; Lemon, .., Yemen 5492 posts
Apr 20th '13
Quoting Elliot Grace's Mama:" We share a bank account and I do whatever I want with our money lol... Joe doesn't even know what's going on when it comes to bills"


Same in our household. I'm the one who does all the billing and finances.

saageex3 Due August 3; 1 child; New York 6261 posts
Apr 20th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting TrixieGirl:</b>" So who claims you on your taxes? Do you claim yourself? Who claims your daughter? Does he claim you? ... [snip!] ... you I think that then, it would be fair for you to say that you should be allowed an equall say in how the money is managed..."</blockquote>




I only just left so I claimed my daughter on my taxes. He works off the books so he doesn't pay taxes.

snglemama 4 kids; Georgia 11978 posts
Apr 21st '13
Quoting saageex3:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Legendary Amanda:</b>" Yeah, it's a totally different situation, ... [snip!] ... Thursday-Saturday so I'm the only one taking care of DD. I guess that's where we see us having equal amount of work to handle"


lol,



I dont' know where to begin with the LOL's of this thread. He works 12 hour shifts and it's equal to your being a SAHM at your parents home? of one child?



and yay for him.. working illegally under the table. You guys are all kinds of cool... your parents supporting you and your child together.. you wanting him to give you money... him working illegally.. you thinking you guys are equal in work because you're home with one child at your parents..

saageex3 Due August 3; 1 child; New York 6261 posts
Apr 21st '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting snglemama:</b>" lol, I dont' know where to begin with the LOL's of this thread. He works 12 hour shifts and it's ... [snip!] ... money... him working illegally.. you thinking you guys are equal in work because you're home with one child at your parents.."</blockquote>




I don't know where to begin on telling you I could care less about your opinion but thanks for it anyway. Hope you feel better now

Mommy*Allie* 2 kids; New York 110 posts
Apr 23rd '13

We sat down together and made a budget. every two weeks "we" get paid and all the bills are divided and paid then what grocery money we NEED is used, along with other needed items for the two weeks and put a little aside into savings for emergency use only. If any is left we have a date night or go to the movies as a family. If not we get together that weekend with friends and their kids :) works out pretty well for us!