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Rape Fantasy *possible triggers* Proginoskes II 3 kids; North Carolina 1295 posts
20th Apr '13

Some people who have been raped have a rape fantasy. It's considered therapeutic by some, a way to heal by recreating the situation in a context that the survivor is actually in control.
What if this fantasy goes in the other direction, and instead of fantasizing about being on the receiving end of the play rape, the survivor fantasizes about raping another person?
Do you think it is bad/unhealthy/sick for a person to fantasize about doing this to another person? Is this person as bad as the person that victimized them, or is it one thing to think, and another thing to do it? Is it simply another way to work through issues?
**In this case, both the victim/survivor and the rapist are adults.**

mom of three 3 kids; Missouri 5098 posts
20th Apr '13

I've never been raped so I have no first hand experience... I wouldnt think that the fantasy itself makes that person bad but I would suggest talking to a therapist about it.

user banned California 36390 posts
20th Apr '13

Are you talking want to actually rape someone or be the fake rapist in a rape roleplay?

Lillith Abendroth 2 kids; Columbus, Ohio 248 posts
20th Apr '13

I was raped growing up. From the ages of nine to nineteen, by my father. I have a very strong rape fantasy, and have expressed it with my husband, who was also raped at a young age. We have both decided, however, that this may be one of those ideas that sounds better on paper, so to speak, and he absolutely refuses to do it. Which is fine. I wouldn't want either or both of us to end up crying and shaking.



I used to think I was messed up or sick because of this fantasy...

Lillith Abendroth 2 kids; Columbus, Ohio 248 posts
20th Apr '13

Excuse the double post. Also, I would be the one being " raped" not the rapist

endless possibilities Due November 7; 6 kids; Tacoma, Washington 40890 posts
20th Apr '13

I was not raped as a young age, but I was made to feel that sex is dirty, and I felt a lot of guilt, I developed a rape fantasy I think because of that. I was also forced to perform a sex act on a younger child when I was 3 by a babysitter, and that might have something to do with it, but I have never fantasized about molesting or raping anyone. My fantasy is more about not being responsible for my own sexual feelings because of guilt. I like b*****e and blindfolds for the same reason, the loss of control = lack of responsibility.



I see nothing wrong with role playing a rape fantasy between two consenting adults. I see nothing wrong with the fantasy. I would be concerned that fantasizing about raping someone would escalate though, especially if the person didn't have a suitable outlet like a partner willing to play. I would probably seek counseling if that was my fantasy for that reason.

Daesey 1 child; 2 angel babies; Kansas 1482 posts
20th Apr '13

I don't think it's sick or twisted. I think it is a natural feeling of wanting to have CONTROL since some people feel being raped was a LOSS of control. Wanting to dominate someone after you have been dominated is not uncommon. Now, if you wanted to hurt or defile someone b/c you feel immense joy or glee at causing pain or making someone cry.... well, maybe there ARE some issues that need to be discussed with a professional.



I was date-raped by the first guy I slept with when I was 21 yrs old. It was the 2nd time we were intimate. The "first time" was very much what you would have wanted your first time to be --- dinner, wine, candlelight, etc. The second time was a drunken forcible rape (he figured that since I'd already "given it up to him" I should not be saying no). For a long time afterward, I questioned the validity of it being "rape" since he didn't brutalize me, beat me, etc. I didn't report it or tell anyone else about it. I didn't address it at all until my next relationship when I realized I had issues with a man touching me. And while I've gotten past that for the most part, I still have some issues with having my hands held down or feeling trapped during sex. And there are times that I like being more forceful with my husband than I allow him to be with me (holding him down, tying him up, being in control, etc). And then even still, there are times I like him to be a little more dominant or rough. I don't question these feelings or think they are wrong... we express them in healthy ways and in the safe environment of our relationship and I've never had a panic except one of the first times we were together.

Proginoskes II 3 kids; North Carolina 1295 posts
20th Apr '13
Quoting Teenage Girl:" Are you talking want to actually rape someone or be the fake rapist in a rape roleplay?"

Only in roleplay.

Dovahkiin 1 child; 1 angel baby; Kentucky 16776 posts
20th Apr '13

Sometimes we roleplay rape. I've never been sexually assaulted.

Proginoskes II 3 kids; North Carolina 1295 posts
20th Apr '13

I'm so glad I'm not some sick freak, lol.
I'd heard so many times that it's normal for a woman to fantasize about being raped after it happened to her. I've never heard the other side, and I'm on that other side. I have only slightly entertained the thought of being on the receiving end of it, but I do have the fantasy of roleplaying rape as the "rapist" quite often. I've worried that I'm some sort of weirdo, and I worried that daydreaming about fake-raping someone made me some sort of potential sexual predator or something, if that makes any sense.

endless possibilities Due November 7; 6 kids; Tacoma, Washington 40890 posts
20th Apr '13
Quoting ProginoskesII (SuperKink):" I'm so glad I'm not some sick freak, lol. I'd heard so many times that it's normal for a woman to fantasize ... [snip!] ... daydreaming about fake-raping someone made me some sort of potential sexual predator or something, if that makes any sense."


It doesn't make you a predator unless you go do it, but there are plenty of guys who would love to be your "victim" so there is a lot of room for you to act out your fantasy without having to actually hurt anyone so i think the risk of you becoming a predator is pretty low.

user banned Lesbos, Greece 95211 posts
21st Apr '13

I think fantasies are the safest way to deal with a socially unacceptable desire.



I'd much rather someone fantasize about raping someone than go actually rape someone.