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4 year olds dr anxiety [Doe Eyed Dirty Lurker] ; 18 kids; noneya, TN, United States 3245 posts
20th Apr '13

Actually I don't think anxiety is the word...more like psychotic irrational fear. I've been putting off his 4year wellness check/shots because of it...but I need to get it over with. He is seriously going to shit. He came with me to my last prenatal appointment and screamed and cried and tried to "rescue" me from the nurse while she was checking my bp...and there is no calming him down.



At his 3year check it took me, my husband, my mom and 2 nurses to hold him down to check his ears and get his shots because he wouldn't stop fighting to get away. And it kills me to have to physically restrain him when I know he's terrified and then have him feel pain from the needles etc. Weve tried watching videos and reading children's books about dr checkups and how they aren't scary and it doesn't work. And with me being big pregnant I'm actually a little worried me trying to restrain him this time might hurt me. He thrashes and kicks and screams.



Is there anything I can try or have the drs office help with to make this less traumatic for both of us. He gets super upset anytime we even say the WORD doctor...he begs me not to go to every appointment. I don't know how to help him :(

KeriM Due September 28 (boy); 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Ontario 1129 posts
20th Apr '13

Have you asked why he's so psychotically against the doctor's?



My oldest wasn't much a fan, but he started watching Doc McStuffins on the Disney Junior channel, and he's been fine since...

Nut ღ Meg Beverly Hills, CA, United States 40235 posts
20th Apr '13

My daughter is the same exact way. She is 6 yrs old....

[Doe Eyed Dirty Lurker] ; 18 kids; noneya, TN, United States 3245 posts
20th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting KeriM:</b>" Have you asked why he's so psychotically against the doctor's? My oldest wasn't much a fan, but he started watching Doc McStuffins on the Disney Junior channel, and he's been fine since... "</blockquote>




He's speech delayed, not as bad as he used to be but still enough that he can't really answer that. He's always hated going...it just seems like the older he gets the worse he gets. Bringing it up at all can cause a severe tantrum.

[Doe Eyed Dirty Lurker] ; 18 kids; noneya, TN, United States 3245 posts
20th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Meg ღ ღ:</b>" My daughter is the same exact way. She is 6 yrs old.... "</blockquote>



How do you deal with it? The nurses and dr always act baffled and kind of angry...like he's doing it to be a brat. It took several minutes for me to talk him onto the scale to be weighed last year and they were none too polite about it. I don't like the looks they give us whe we go, but I don't see a different place where he's never been before being any easier.

Nut ღ Meg Beverly Hills, CA, United States 40235 posts
20th Apr '13
Quoting [Doe Eyed Dirty Lurker]:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Meg ღ ღ:</b>" My daughter is the same exact way. ... [snip!] ... don't like the looks they give us whe we go, but I don't see a different place where he's never been before being any easier."


We always get looks. DH typically comes to the doctors with me because sometimes it's a struggle. We have the dentist in a few weeks and oh my word it's going to be awful.



She has always hated doctors.... she has a genetic condition as well as a thyroid condition so she has been seeing doctors pretty regularly since she was 6 mos old.



She isn't as bad as she has been in the past for some of the doctors, but her endocrinologist and dentist are the absolute worst.



I'm sorry I'm not much help, there isn't much that helps us. She sees a child psychologist for anxiety and she is 'okay' in that office because it's just a talking doctor.. I do all the talking.



Since he is speech delayed, have you tried a picture chart? Something that can show him what will happen? When he has a "meltdown" or panic attack have you tried to breath with him? For example, get on his level and say <insert his name> take 3 deep breaths (you take them and count for him) then say now count to 10 (you do this for him and he hopefully will follow, or it may calm him down a bit) 1 - 2 - 3 - 4.. ect.



:( I'm so sorry. I know what is it like to have a child like this... it's very difficult and so sad that they feel this is the only way to cope.




Oh! Is he okay in the waiting room? And last question, does the nurse take him right to the scale to be weighed?

~The Lunar Flower~ Due January 13 (boy); 1 child; Alabama 6738 posts
20th Apr '13

It could be the shots. I threw tantrums through every visit because I was terrified of needles. I still am. It was mentally damaging for me to get shots. I grew up in a household full of drug abusers & my dad did tattoos at home. I also decided to stop vaccinating my son because of religious reasons as well as personal reasons. He cried for a solid 45 minutes until he fell asleep after getting his 2 month shots

[Doe Eyed Dirty Lurker] ; 18 kids; noneya, TN, United States 3245 posts
20th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Meg ღ ღ:</b>" We always get looks. DH typically comes to the doctors with me because sometimes it's a struggle. We ... [snip!] ... to cope. Oh! Is he okay in the waiting room? And last question, does the nurse take him right to the scale to be weighed?"</blockquote>




He does alright in the waiting room because he is always engrossed in the tv. They do take him right to the weight and height measurement area...



We will have to try a picture chart...maybe show him the instruments they use before hand...

[Doe Eyed Dirty Lurker] ; 18 kids; noneya, TN, United States 3245 posts
20th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~The Lunar Flower~:</b>" It could be the shots. I threw tantrums through every visit because I was terrified of needles. I still ... [snip!] ... reasons as well as personal reasons. He cried for a solid 45 minutes until he fell asleep after getting his 2 month shots"</blockquote>



I would love to selective or non vax, but we don't qualify for the medical or religious reasons and he's got to go to school. I still get irked about my hands being tied by that...

Nut ღ Meg Beverly Hills, CA, United States 40235 posts
21st Apr '13
Quoting [Doe Eyed Dirty Lurker]:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Meg ღ ღ:</b>" We always get looks. DH typically ... [snip!] ... and height measurement area... We will have to try a picture chart...maybe show him the instruments they use before hand..."


We have the doctors (all of them) hold off on the height/weight until DD is more comfortable in the office. I've found that her anxiety gets to that extreme point as soon as she sees the medical equipment. It tends to be a bit easier if she knows she is leaving the office to step on the scale without a meltdown.