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Cast Your Vote:

    • Yes. -- Votes: 5
    • No. -- Votes: 22
Lack of sex.. Sarah Michelle Austin Due June 30; Japan 153 posts
22nd Apr '13

Do you think if you're not attracted to your partner anymore/have a sex drive for them/towards them or general uninterest in having sex that means your marriage is over? That you should divorce?
What do you do? What would you do? Is there really anything you can do that's not forcing it?

_______Nope_________ 23772 posts
22nd Apr '13
Quoting Sarah Michelle Austin:" Do you think if you're not attracted to your partner anymore/have a sex drive for them/towards them or ... [snip!] ... over? That you should divorce? What do you do? What would you do? Is there really anything you can do that's not forcing it?"


I don't think it's over. First of all, I'd check medical issues. Is it just a lack of sex drive with THAT person, or a lack of drive at all? It could be depression, or hormonal, or a bunch of other things.



If it's JUST that person, then there is a problem with the relationship, and I'd try counseling to get to the route of the issue and try to overcome it.

LA REINA™ Chicago, IL, United States 15863 posts
22nd Apr '13
Quoting she nan igans:" I don't think it's over. First of all, I'd check medical issues. Is it just a lack of sex drive with ... [snip!] ... then there is a problem with the relationship, and I'd try counseling to get to the route of the issue and try to overcome it."

All of this.

MysticWitchKat 2052 posts
22nd Apr '13
Quoting Sarah Michelle Austin:" Do you think if you're not attracted to your partner anymore/have a sex drive for them/towards them or ... [snip!] ... over? That you should divorce? What do you do? What would you do? Is there really anything you can do that's not forcing it?"


Depends on the marriage I imagine. In some sex never played a big part, so with them no. But in most relationships that's probably going to end a lot of them. Some people are able to hold on, and still stay married. But usually most people tend to be miserable, and that causes a lot of negativity in the relationship, and the desire to cheat.

Robin Lynn +Hannah Vista, California 560 posts
22nd Apr '13

Never. Sometimes, relationships just get to the point where sex isn't (for lack of better word) necessary. You can talk to your DH about your concerns but I don't think that a lack of sex means the end of any relationship. When I was with my ex, 2 of the 3 years we were together had barely any sex involved. It was never an issue.

Sarah Michelle Austin Due June 30; Japan 153 posts
22nd Apr '13
Quoting she nan igans:" I don't think it's over. First of all, I'd check medical issues. Is it just a lack of sex drive with ... [snip!] ... then there is a problem with the relationship, and I'd try counseling to get to the route of the issue and try to overcome it."


I feel like it's a lack of sex drive in general. I dread the thought of him trying, wanting it. I used to love having sex with him...now I try everything possible to avoid it. I get stressed easily with my job and we've had a lot of stress over our son always being sick since he was born and really no sleep...but I mean...otherwise our relationship is decent. I don't know if it could just be stress, though. In my past relationships I've gotten this way when I was annoyed and stressed and done with the relationship. But this is MARRIAGE and my HUSBAND and I'm trying to overcome this and not be stupid about it. I'm feeling so down about everything, and that's definitely not helping.

Sarah Michelle Austin Due June 30; Japan 153 posts
22nd Apr '13
Quoting Robin Lynn:" Never. Sometimes, relationships just get to the point where sex isn't (for lack of better word) necessary. ... [snip!] ... any relationship. When I was with my ex, 2 of the 3 years we were together had barely any sex involved. It was never an issue. "


Thing is, my husband has let it go for a long time but is starting to finally show how upset he is about it. But that makes me even MORE uninterested :(

MysticWitchKat 2052 posts
22nd Apr '13
Quoting Sarah Michelle Austin:" I feel like it's a lack of sex drive in general. I dread the thought of him trying, wanting it. I used ... [snip!] ... trying to overcome this and not be stupid about it. I'm feeling so down about everything, and that's definitely not helping."


Stress can play a big part in a drop in sex drive. But in your case it seems like while you can deal he can't so that's the thing that causes issues.

Robin Lynn +Hannah Vista, California 560 posts
22nd Apr '13
Quoting Sarah Michelle Austin:" Thing is, my husband has let it go for a long time but is starting to finally show how upset he is about it. But that makes me even MORE uninterested :("


I'm going to go out on a limb & just say that it's probably stress related. Have you & your husband gone out & done things for yourself? Like, a day-cation kind of thing? Usually, spending time alone & getting reacquainted helps a lot.

MysticWitchKat 2052 posts
22nd Apr '13
Quoting Robin Lynn:" I'm going to go out on a limb & just say that it's probably stress related. Have you & your ... [snip!] ... things for yourself? Like, a day-cation kind of thing? Usually, spending time alone & getting reacquainted helps a lot."


^that

_______Nope_________ 23772 posts
22nd Apr '13
Quoting Sarah Michelle Austin:" I feel like it's a lack of sex drive in general. I dread the thought of him trying, wanting it. I used ... [snip!] ... trying to overcome this and not be stupid about it. I'm feeling so down about everything, and that's definitely not helping."


It sounds like it's stress. This can mean anxiety and or depression also. Lowered sex drive is VERY common with these. It isn't the relationship, it's your body being out of wack due to the stress.

~ Island ~ Phoenix ~ 2 kids; Brisbane, Australia 192 posts
23rd Apr '13

I'd say a combination of stress and depression, and him being upset wouldn't help. I have periods of days where I avoid it, and it's usually because there is something bothering me. Good luck.