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Asking for a friend... God I feel like this is highschool. Bettinas Due August 14; 2 kids; Australia 2212 posts
22nd Apr '13

One of my guy friends was seeing this girl a little while ago and by seeing, I mean she would virtually ignore him until she needed someone to have sex with or someone to drive her somewhere. He never met any of her friends or family, they knew he existed. Sometimes her relatives would invite him to things but she would always tell him he wasn't allowed to go. He would bring it up on these occasions like "why do you never want me to meet your family, are you ashamed of me?" and she would always say no and that he was very important to her but would ignore him for days at a time.



After months of complaining to me and my repeatedly telling him that she was using him and he deserved better and he finally listened and told her that he wouldn't stand for it anymore. She went crazy and started texting him constantly saying that she felt self destructive and was drinking until she passed out every night. Now today, he's asked me for advice because she's sent him a message saying that she really misses him and wants him back. He's started seeing this other girl who I think is really great for him. She actually takes interest in his life and has invited him to do things and such. She drives so he isn't her taxi. They're equals.



He said to the girl that he broke up with that he was sorry that it had to end but he's seeing someone else and she went off at him saying that she hates him and that she's pregnant and he'll never see the baby.



Is it just me who thinks this or does it sound a little too convenient? I think it screams trap all over.



What should he do in this situation?

user banned 3 kids; Washington 15083 posts
22nd Apr '13

Screams trap to me too. Once the *baby* gets here he can fight for DNA testing and visitation. Unless he really loves her and wants it to work out even though there might not be a baby..

⚓Misty⚓ 4 kids; Keenesburg, Colorado 7276 posts
22nd Apr '13

Yeah she's totally using him. If she is pregnant then he can take her to court for a paternity test when the babies born

Munchkin Maker 2 kids; Maryland 733 posts
22nd Apr '13

Me personally, I'd ignore her. She can only go so long pretending to be pregnant. If she is, she is. And they can deal with it when the time comes. But it just seems SOOO unlikely in this situation.

♥Mrs.Garcia 18 kids; Houston, Texas 13802 posts
22nd Apr '13

Uh, it's sad to see a woman act that way. A lot of my ex's and my DH now have dealt with girls that were like that. I just feel bad for the girl that she is that desperate to say that and also be with a guy she really doesn't want to be with. You know? I think it sounds convenient... but... being as he was IN the relationship, he knows if there is a possibility or not. I would want her to take a test with me (me being him... not myself actually lol). If it's negative, he knows... even if she continues on with it. Then he needs to cut ties with her completely. No facebook friends, no message to see how she is doing, no answering calls/text. Just completely cut ALL ties with her. Women like that will just hold him back from being truly happy and TRULY loved. Not for his stuff, but for who he is as a person and that kinda love, there is no love like it. It's beautiful. Why someone would even settle for less is beyond me.

Liam's Mama 1 child; North Carolina 5474 posts
22nd Apr '13

Bet you $10 in a few weeks she'll "lose" the baby.

Soon 2 be mom of 3 Due November 6; 2 kids; Massachusetts 412 posts
22nd Apr '13

Yikes...that screams trap to me too. He's better off without her. I'm with everyone else if there is a baby they can get DNA testing.

Preggo Bear Claw Due May 3; 64 kids; Firestone Park, CA, United States 662 posts
23rd Apr '13

Yup, sounds like a trap ... Tell him to stay away from her until the child is born and go from there - I think she's lying so any further contact will just fuel her fire.

Munchkin Maker 2 kids; Maryland 733 posts
23rd Apr '13
Quoting Preggo Bear Claw:" Yup, sounds like a trap ... Tell him to stay away from her until the child is born and go from there - I think she's lying so any further contact will just fuel her fire."


Yep!



Bettinas Due August 14; 2 kids; Australia 2212 posts
23rd Apr '13
Quoting Preggo Bear Claw:" Yup, sounds like a trap ... Tell him to stay away from her until the child is born and go from there - I think she's lying so any further contact will just fuel her fire."



I can't quote all of these but yes, I've told him now that he should give her what she "wants" and just not talk to her and all of the things about waiting it out and then taking her to court. Sadly, I know him and I know how emotionally invested he gets himself into these things. He's the kind of guy who will get finicky and then freak out and start frantically trying to get in touch :?



I'll do my best to keep him away. If I could get him to come over, I'd smash his phone :lol:



(Not really) :p

* Clairebear * 1 child; Ireland 2941 posts
23rd Apr '13

I know a girl who pulled exactly the same stunt. She even went so far as to take apart a pregnancy test and draw a line with a pink marker. I kid you not, she's really crazy. I never saw this "bfp" im not actually friends with her but my cousin did. she said a woman would know something wasnt right with it but a man would probably be fooled. Then she downloaded a couple of scan pics off google and tried to pass them off as hers. She got spotted not long after buying tampons though and the cat got out of the bag lol. Served her right. She tried to say she had a miscarriage but of course no one believed her. That guy was so happy and glad to escape, he's a real pet and everyone was raging to see him being treated like that. What a c**t!

Ladee+Grant+Lilly 2 kids; Tallahassee, FL, United States 21168 posts
23rd Apr '13

I used to have a coworker who has scandalous like this. She'd get "pregnant", then tell the guy she needed anywhere between 300-600 for their half of an abortion. She'd get real pregnant women to give her pee to use on a pregnancy test, she'd steal ultrasound pics off of her friend's facebooks. She was a nutjob.



If you really wanted to be a "good friend" and I use that term lightly because you're already being a great friend IMO...then tell him to go pick her up and bring her to your house. Get a pregnancy test and watch her piss on it. That will solve it either way, and maybe then he can move on in his better relationship.

LayLu (girl); 17 kids; Virginia 4007 posts
23rd Apr '13

If she were pregnant, I'm pretty sure that would have been the first thing she told him when she started texting him again, or she'd have at least said she needed to talk to him about something serious. It sounds like a trap.. too many women use the "I'm pregnant" excuse to get their ex back and it's usually a bunch of bullshit.



I think he should tell her he's sorry, but he can't be with her and doesn't want to be with her. He should tell her that if she is pregnant, he's more than willing to support the child and be there for the child, but that's it, he doesn't want any sort of a relationship with her.

Zepplin's Mommy :) 1 child; Magnolia, Delaware 911 posts
23rd Apr '13

Sounds to me like its a trap, he could tell her to prove it by sending him a picture of the full ultra sound that she should have gotten or be getting sometime soon to where he can see her name at the top hospital info and all that if he even believes her a little. and if she cant do that then he should know shes lying or she may even happen to "lose" the baby. Tell him to not fall for her scam and keep on with the new girl!! :)