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**************** user banned
23rd Apr '13

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♥MomToSilas+1♥ Due December 9; 1 child; ., IL, United States 11356 posts
status 23rd Apr '13

SO's best friend is a female. It was easy. I befriended them as well. There's no reason he can't be friends with females. I'm friends with males.



He's probably hiding it because you are clearly insecure with him having female friends. Be open about it and accept it or you shouldn't be in the relationship. You can't dictate or control who he can or can't talk/hang out with. That's just not right at all.

user banned 1 child; Portland, Maine 20613 posts
23rd Apr '13

I trust my SO with his female friends (one of which is even an ex) and he trusts me with my male friends (one of whom he knows I had a crush on before we got together). I don't think that I could deal with being in a relationship with someone that I couldn't trust to make good judgement about who they hang out with.

ℕightingale 1 child; Mississippi 7528 posts
23rd Apr '13

Never bothered me until DH told me one of them told him not to marry me days before we did it only bother me when he talk to her. It made me mad at first but I got over it the women he talks to ask him for advise and stuff eh I'm not really the jealous type though.

user banned Nassau, BA, Bahamas 5125 posts
23rd Apr '13

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[JadeLee] 1 child; Minnesota 12190 posts
23rd Apr '13

I guess I never thought it was a big deal. SO always got along with everyone in High School. Every once and a while he will have a conversation with someone I didn't know he was friends with and I just say "I didn't know you talked to her!"
He even talks to people that he has slept with before (He was quite the man whore back in the day.) I guess that bothers me a little bit but I don't want to be the insecure person I used to be. He comes home to me at night and that is what matters.



I don't know how I accept it, I just do. We have had quite a few conversations. I still talk to people that I have slept with in the past, but I could never in a million years cheat on SO. I would like to think he feels the same way.

Stfu Squirrel District of Columbia 8554 posts
23rd Apr '13

Wow, I have a couple of male BFFs, one of whom I used to hang out with every day for about 10 years before he moved away a year and a half ago.



I would never in a million years cheat on my husband, but if he had ever tried to limit my friendships, I couldn't have married him.

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59938 posts
23rd Apr '13

I met my SO through my (female) best friend who I'd known since middle school. She was by BF's best friend from college.



I have absolutely no qualms about them talking, texting, hanging out... nothin'.



IMO, if there is no trust... it's going to negatively impact the relationship. And if there's a reason to mistrust........ that's a whole different story.

ℕightingale 1 child; Mississippi 7528 posts
23rd Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Loka Lokita:</b>" I have been cheated on before. I think that's the issue. It's almost like SO is too good to be true sometimes. ... [snip!] ... to hurt this relationship. Maybe I should just surprise him and let him do what he wants and keep my insecurities quiet."</blockquote>




You can't let your past experiences run your life that was them not him. I was lied, manipulated, cheated on, etc by 2 guys and at first I treated DH a certain way because I felt like he was going to do the same but I realized I couldn't continue to live that way and stopped it after I had a long talk to DH (he was my bf at the time) after it we got engaged.

user banned Nassau, BA, Bahamas 5125 posts
23rd Apr '13
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♥MomToSilas+1♥ Due December 9; 1 child; ., IL, United States 11356 posts
status 23rd Apr '13
Quoting Loka Lokita:" I have been cheated on before. I think that's the issue. It's almost like SO is too good to be true sometimes. ... [snip!] ... to hurt this relationship. Maybe I should just surprise him and let him do what he wants and keep my insecurities quiet."


You can't let your past influence your current relationship. I've been cheated on and abused in the past. That was by a different guy... Not SO. So I can't reprimand SO for what my ex did. If I did then our relationship would fall apart quick.

[JadeLee] 1 child; Minnesota 12190 posts
23rd Apr '13
Quoting Loka Lokita:" I have been cheated on before. I think that's the issue. It's almost like SO is too good to be true sometimes. ... [snip!] ... to hurt this relationship. Maybe I should just surprise him and let him do what he wants and keep my insecurities quiet."

SO did cheat on me and I hadn't been cheated on in the past.
It is no excuse but it happened when we had only been together for a month and things weren't as serious. SO had only had a couple serious relationships but each lasted less than a year. It has been about a year and a few months since I found out and we stuck through it and he knows that if it happens again he will be breaking my heart, his own and DD's. I NEVER thought that I would stick with someone through them cheating on me and there are days that I still think about it and get the sudden urge to punch him in the face ( :lol: )
We talked through it and worked it out together though and decided to stick through it. It worked for us.