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☆º×ß¡±©µ×º☆ Due September 18 (girl); 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Centralia, Washington 45360 posts
26th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting *Mayhem*:</b>" Guys...really...holy balls can we keep one topic separate from the others? Half of us that have this ... [snip!] ... people from post to post, I think it's time for that thread to die and put the f**king keyboard down...walk awaaaaayyyy"</blockquote>




You can do that no one else has to open forum

user banned Nassau, BA, Bahamas 5125 posts
26th Apr '13

All my kids have different dad's and I don't care what anyone has to say about it. I sure as hell didn't plan it that way, but wouldn't change having my babies.

user banned Nassau, BA, Bahamas 5125 posts
26th Apr '13
Quoting Mrs. Grinch:" Keep your damn legs closed all you f**king wh**es. Think how your children will feel having no full brothers and sisters."


Aren't you f**king sweet. I have two brothers and a sister, all half. We were raised together and don't even bring up the fact that we're half.

Anja[VBA2C GRADx2!] 5 kids; Illinois 3576 posts
26th Apr '13

I have kids with two different men and it never has bothered me at all . I had 2 with my oldest's father (though I put the 2nd up for adoption due to the fact I was trying to sort my life out and raise my first child at the same time) and I will have two with my husband. My oldest daughter's father was a complete a*****e , and also died due to a car accident so the combination of those things are why we're not together (totally for the better) . We never married but were pretty committed and were together from the time he was 11 and I was 10 until I got pregnant with my second child when I was in my 20's . We were off for a few years though but I , mistakenly, got back together with him despite knowing he was an abusive a*****e and that's how we had our second child. I have never heard anyone say any judgement to my face, if they did they're a sick p***e o* s**t in my opinion . You don't say that to someone who survived abuse.But anyway the good news being I ended up with my husband a few years later and it has been a wonderful relationship .



Due to this I really can't judge though because I don't think I have the right to , knowing how it is to be in a horrible relationship I would assume it's possible they did as well, and maybe that's why, so I couldn't judge.

user banned Nassau, BA, Bahamas 5125 posts
26th Apr '13

And one more thing, it does bother me when people ask if all my kids have the same dads (3) and I can't answer yes. Sometimes. Only because of comments like from Mrs. Grinch. Otherwise, I just remember that they are all MY babies too and don't need to be defined by their DNA.

yo moyo 1 child; Ishim, Russian Federation 1335 posts
27th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting *Mayhem*:</b>" Guys...really...holy balls can we keep one topic separate from the others? Half of us that have this ... [snip!] ... people from post to post, I think it's time for that thread to die and put the f**king keyboard down...walk awaaaaayyyy"</blockquote>




No kidding im so confused lol.

yo moyo 1 child; Ishim, Russian Federation 1335 posts
27th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Loka Lokita:</b>" And one more thing, it does bother me when people ask if all my kids have the same dads (3) and I can't ... [snip!] ... like from Mrs. Grinch. Otherwise, I just remember that they are all MY babies too and don't need to be defined by their DNA. "</blockquote>




I can't believe people would ask that! Seems kinda rude and nosey.

FroggysMommy 1 child; Golden, Colorado 27009 posts
27th Apr '13
Quoting Mrs. Grinch:" <blockquote><b>Quoting *Mayhem*:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Yurvette [♥]:</b>" ... [snip!] ... so perfect world. It's up to the person what happens and if they choose to risk it then they can handle the judgement from it."


That's pretty much a bullshit statement. Shit happens... I religiously used condoms and became pregnant. ALL protection can fail, except abstinence. You know that. But it seems absolutely wacky to me to be all "Well I am a responsible adult and have responsible relationships but oh nope, I won't have sex at all because protection fails and if I have multiple fathers for my child then I should expect people to give me backlash." I'm sorry, that's crap. It IS pretty bad to be with whoever you want, have kids with random people that don't give a damn, but shit happens.



I'll use my situation and explain why it would be bullshit to judge like that without knowing the situation and just be all "Well I should expect backlash" :p



First real long-term relationship I had, I became pregnant. Religiously used condoms. It wasn't until AFTER I became pregnant that his true colors showed. He even tried to kidnap our child. I left him, blocked him from our life. After that, I started to date Tony (my recent ex) but that didn't work out back them. Let's move onto Dale... Dale treated me WONDERFULLY. I was his Queen and Lily was his princess. We had a very strong, wonderful relationship. The reason we broke up was mainly because I still loved Tony, and two... his mother didnt like me having a child and she made that known. I was pushed away by that. We did not have kids together but if I did... it wouldnt have bothered me. He was an amazing "father" to my child. Second relationship, we had our issues but it still was a good relationship. He treated Lily well (until the last 2 weeks we were together) and so if I had a child with him, I think all would have been well. He only "hurt" my child until the end. Then I got back with Tony. He has a son and we had a wonderful blended family. I wanted a child with him... I was with him for 5 years and he was a stand-up, wonderful man to me, my daughter, and the son he has custody of. We broke up for bullshit reasons and I still want him back, but that's another story ;)



But lets say I had a kid with all of them... especially with Dale and Tony, they were wonderful "fathers" to my child and Lily LOVED them. Even if I had a child and broke up with them I know without a doubt they would be there for our children, Lily included. Matt was the only bad one and like I said, I left him. So lets just say I had a child with Matt, Dale, and Tony... it would be bullshit to expect judgment from someone just because I had more than one father especially since two of them were wonderful men that took on another child as their own. Why is more than one father bad and should expect judgment for it.... when a woman can stay with one man that is horrible to her and her child in private and the world doesnt know because she doesnt want to leave because of the judgment of moving on and having a child with someone else. Why do we pass judgment... that judgment is what makes girls stay in shit relationships instead of moving on and saying "Who cares if I end up having a third father... I'm a wonderful mtoher and that father may be the best thing that ever happened to us." And even if he isnt wonderful, all that matters is the mother being a stand-up mother.



People change, relationships change. A woman shouldnt get with someone that is abusive, on drugs, is horribly mean, etc... and expect him to change. But people DO change so that wonderful man can turn into a deadbeat, and one shouldnt receive scorn for that.



Additionally, it shouldn't be a "just dont have sex until its serious/close to marriage/you know the person like the back of your hand" because again, people change. Sex shouldnt be JUST for love. Its fine if one thinks that way, but it shouldnt be looked down upon just because you don't agree. You say "This is so grey, but my opinion is more than one baby daddy, without being married, is f**king whoreish" is just... well... crap. What does marriage have to do with anything... I mean really, does being married mean anything more than being unmarried? People sleep around while married... people have open relationships when married. People are beat when married, people get married just for insurance or because they feel they have to... I mean the list goes on. Being married doesn't make one better, just as being unmarried doesn't make one better or worse. But the underlying fact is that being married doesn't mean you have more morals, and you can be a "wh**e" or "whoreish" when married just as when you aren't married. You can be a fantastic mother to 5 children, when not married, when all kids have different fathers. You can marry one person, sleep around still, or even if you do stay together and be faithful you can be married and still have horrible morals or be a horrible parent. To judge a mother based on how many fathers she has and to call her a whoreish for not being married with more than one father is just.... well it's bullshit to be honest.

FroggysMommy 1 child; Golden, Colorado 27009 posts
27th Apr '13
Quoting Mrs. Grinch:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Yurvette [♥]:</b>" I was in a committed relationship ... [snip!] ... because I can. If you can't handle it don't air your dirty shit and don't put yourself in a place to get judged. End of story."


"Not feel bad when it's wrong." Who the hell says it is wrong to not be married and have more than one father of your children? Who died and made you queen of morals and rights in the world?



You say don't air dirty shit and put yourself in a place to be judged.... saying "I stole a bunch of makeup because I don't feel like paying for it. I steal all the time because the store has insurance to cover theft anyways." Is a perfect statement to judge and say that they are putting themselves in a place to be judged. They are doing something wrong and so they should feel bad, as that IS wrong. But I fail to see where it is "wrong" to have children out of wedlock, even more than one child, more than one father, and it certainly isn't a place to judge someone unless they are neglecting their children.




I mean, you are putting yourself in a place to be judged right now. I think you are a royal b***h and should turn that judgmental nose more toward Earth than upturned into the clouds, acting as if your shit don't stink and your life is better than others.



Let's talk about you... you have extreme anger issues and outbursts. I could say that you are childish and need to act like an adult if you don't have a hold on your anger and throw tantrums like a 3 year old. You threw a fit like a child and told your fiancee that his girlfriend was on the phone. So you aren't even married, and have a kid. You DO realize that if you throw too many fits and your fiancee leaves you, that you too can find someone else, sleep with them, and have another child and that makes YOU look whoreish by your own definition......... correct?



You put up a post about having body issues and feeling like crap, working for a goal for your body and your body is "betraying" you in a way. You say, "please don't judge." Why is it people can't judge you, but you judge others by calling their actions whoreish without even knowing what may have happened in their life? You flip out on your boyfriend.... a lot. He can easily leave you and then if you get with someone else and have a child out of wedlock again, are you going to call yourself a wh**e?



I really can't believe you judge......

FroggysMommy 1 child; Golden, Colorado 27009 posts
27th Apr '13
Quoting Mrs. Grinch:" Keep your damn legs closed all you f**king wh**es. Think how your children will feel having no full brothers and sisters."


I have a half-sister and full blooded sister and we all love each other the same. I look more like my half sister. So we don't give a damn.



My daughter loves my ex's son as if he were my own. I love him as if her were my own. If you raise your kids right they won't grow up with trash views like yours and you won't have anything to worry about.

Ladee+Grant+Lilly 2 kids; Tallahassee, FL, United States 20526 posts
27th Apr '13

I'm chiming in without reading, I'll go back and read all six pages.



My best friend has three kids by three different men. Sometimes life just happens and things happen before you find the person you're supposed to be with. She is one of the most responsible sensible people I know. I'd never judge someone for how many different children they have by different fathers as long as they are meeting their responsibilities to said kids. Same situation, my dad has three kids by three different women (obviously I'm one of them). No one has even batted an eye, except to jokingly call him a man-wh**e once in awhile (mostly after he got the conclusive DNA back on my older sister a few years ago). I myself have two kids by two different fathers, and there won't be any more bc I'm fixed. I don't want more than two kids period, no matter how many men are involved.



I used to judge, I'll admit. I was in a long term relationship with my son's father (almost 9yrs) and I was young and just couldn't wrap my head around it. When I got pregnant with my daughter, I realized I was "one of them" that I used to look so harshly at and it really opened my eyes to the fact that sometimes life just happens. No you don't trip fall and land on someone's p***s to get pregnant but relationships rise and fall, and the like.



Now I'm of the mind that, as long as your kids aren't going without and you're not a baby factory on purpose just to get benefits or trap men I really don't care. I'll do me, and you can do you, and we can all co-exist peacefully.

mamaluvsher4babies 36 kids; California 4230 posts
27th Apr '13
Quoting Ꭶwan♥Nem
Ladee+Grant+Lilly 2 kids; Tallahassee, FL, United States 20526 posts
27th Apr '13

I really want to ask something of the "birds of a feather" chick but I feel like I will get shit for it. But oh well.



This is completely "innocent" as far as those things go, meaning I'm not judging or condemning you for your beliefs at ALL I am just honestly curious. This is about your one nite stand (since that's how you referred to it, so will I). You said you were basically knocked out, meaning when you found out you were pregnant you had no idea who the father was. Also meaning, it could have been a black man and you never would have known until delivery. I'm honestly curious...did you keep that child? And if so, would you have kept it if upon delivery you found out it was a mixed baby?



Also, I find a lot of people that say "black with blacks and whites with whites" often have no views about Asians, Hispanics, etc. Do you extend your views to those as well? Honestly curious.
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I came from a family like that as well. My dad has basically cut us from the family and my "inheritance" from my grndparents because of my mixed race child. To me it's NFG honestly because I'm better off. But he has no problem with dating Asians and etc, which is why I asked (which, makes no sense to me. To me, if you're that hardcore about it, it should extend to ALL races)

penispenispenisVAGINA 4 kids; Idaho 7110 posts
27th Apr '13

Ladee+Grant+Lilly 2 kids; Tallahassee, FL, United States 20526 posts
27th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting nothinuneed2no:</b>" I kept my child. I had a c-section and he's beautiful. If he would have been mixed I would have loved ... [snip!] ... others. Maybe if it's explained that way I won't be called raciest and be treated like the biggest p***e o* s**t in the world. "</blockquote>




Thank you for answering! I was honestly just curious.