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Cast Your Vote:

    • Wait to TTC and possibly have more than 2 -- Votes: 7
    • TTC now and be done at 2 -- Votes: 4
    • TTC now and hope to maybe have more kids in the future -- Votes: 15
    • Give up and bury your head in the sand -- Votes: 4
to TTC... or not to TTC... that is the question buddhababy 1 child; Spain 378 posts
25th Apr '13

Sorry in advance for a post-and-run but I'm about to go to the gym and I'd like some opinions to read when I come back.



My DH and I are young(ish) parents at 24 and have a 17 month old son. Our first son was a surprise baby but we've actually made it work really well while I've been finishing my master's and he's been working. I'm graduating now and applying for jobs and we've been planning on waiting until our son was in school (at least 5) to have more kids but suddenly out of the blue my DH suggested maybe TTC now so that we can be done and then I can focus on career after and buy a house and traveling when they're older, rather than waiting and sort of missing those opportunities both in our twenties and also later in life. Either way I'm sure we would travel and buy a house eventually, but I sort of like the idea of getting all the baby stuff out of the way. On the other hand I'm not sure I want to be done with kids so young.



Any experience, opinions, advice?

user banned Due November 7 (boy); 1 child; Dayton, Ohio 26853 posts
25th Apr '13

Well personally I am glad I will have the nearly 5 year age difference between my kids. It really allowed me to spend time with my son and build my career up. I feel like if I had been juggling my career and 2 children this whole time I would not have been able to enjoy them both as much.




With the age difference my son is independent enough that he has his own hobbies and things he enjoys and I will be able to focus on the baby.



Also since I focused on my career and received promotions I can afford the 20k a year I pay for daycare.

White Chocolate Milk 1 child; Chelsea, Alabama 12303 posts
25th Apr '13

Do you feel like not doing anything for the next few years? Or would you rather go ahead and get your career started?
For us, I am finishing up school and then plan on working for at least a year and then having more kids. DS will probably be 3-4 by the time we have another one.

Back to Noob Status Ohio 14048 posts
25th Apr '13
Quoting buddhababy:" Sorry in advance for a post-and-run but I'm about to go to the gym and I'd like some opinions to read ... [snip!] ... stuff out of the way. On the other hand I'm not sure I want to be done with kids so young. Any experience, opinions, advice?"


Well if you have to ask, chances are that you should wait TTC.

3 little monsters 3 kids; Olathe, Colorado 50990 posts
25th Apr '13

My older two were 3 1/2 years apart, it was SUCH an easy transition. My youngest came 13 months after her brother. The first year I wanted to shoot myself and I will never ever again have a baby. Having two close together was the WORST thing I ever did. I didn't get to enjoy my pregnancies, I didn't get to enjoy them both being babies and it made my life about 2x million times harder. I would never ever do it again, seriously you couldn't PAY me to have two babies under 3 years old. Wait, enjoy your child now, enjoy your husband and the freedom that only one child gives you.

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 4598 posts
25th Apr '13

This is a situation we dealt with. We decided to wait and DS is now 6 years old and I've decided to go back to College and completely change Career. By the time I finish all that and establish myself in a new Career DS will be 10/11/12 years old and I'm certainly not going to have a new baby then and I'm certainly in no position to do it now with such a big change and for me personally I already feel that 6/7 years is too big a gap anyway already..... I really wish we would have just had another baby when DS was 12/18 months old and been done because now it's too late and we'll never have another one and that really, really gets to me :(

buddhababy 1 child; Spain 378 posts
25th Apr '13
Quoting Iggy Azalea:" This is a situation we dealt with. We decided to wait and DS is now 6 years old and I've decided to go ... [snip!] ... 12/18 months old and been done because now it's too late and we'll never have another one and that really, really gets to me :("


Aw I'm sorry, missed opportunities are the worst. But I bet your DS will like not having to share and enjoying all the attention. :)

buddhababy 1 child; Spain 378 posts
25th Apr '13
Quoting Back to Noob Status:" Well if you have to ask, chances are that you should wait TTC. "


I was just asking for other people's experiences. Sorry, I don't think I made that very clear. :)

Back to Noob Status Ohio 14048 posts
25th Apr '13
Quoting buddhababy:" I was just asking for other people's experiences. Sorry, I don't think I made that very clear. :)"


Personally, if I were in your shoes, I would go ahead and have another one now and just be done so that way, you won't have to go back and forth with maternity leave (which can be such a headache at times).



Best of luck!

buddhababy 1 child; Spain 378 posts
25th Apr '13
Quoting Back to Noob Status:" Personally, if I were in your shoes, I would go ahead and have another one now and just be done so that ... [snip!] ... so that way, you won't have to go back and forth with maternity leave (which can be such a headache at times). Best of luck!"


Good point, and thanks!

whoknowsx New York, 1185 posts
25th Apr '13

I'd wait and TTC a few years down the line. This way you can fully enjoy baby/toddlerhood with DS, and get started in your career. Also, maybe your future job will have great maternity leave and you can get paid while having a baby.



I know for me I wanted 2 under 3 but now that I think about it, I probably won't have another one until DS is in school and I am more settled in my career so 1) I can take advantage of the 4 month paid maternity leave 2) I won't have two in day care and 3) I will already have left a positive imprint on my employer.



But honestly, it's all very personal. Do whats best for you!

mmmc15 4 kids; 2 angel babies; Wyoming 708 posts
25th Apr '13

I have done both the five year age gap (between one and two) and a 19 mo gap (between two and three). I really liked having my 2nd two close together. They absolutely love each other. We also never really got out of "baby mode" so when #3 came along it was not a huge adjustment. It was however tough to go back to being up all night with a new born after five years of not doing it. We are currently trying to conceive #4 and have had two m/c. I never had issues before and we are not sure what is going now. My point being that you never know what the future may hold and if you really want another one and are in a good place to do it now good ahead. Remember though you are young and have the rest of your life to work. You can only have babies for so long. Good luck and I am sure that whatever decision you make will be the best for you and your family!

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 4598 posts
26th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting buddhababy:</b>" Aw I'm sorry, missed opportunities are the worst. But I bet your DS will like not having to share and enjoying all the attention. :)"</blockquote>




Lol unfortunately not, he's been asking for a little brother or sister since he could talk :?