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CJKB+JMB=AMB 1 child; Watertown, New York 2525 posts
25th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting SaucyPoppet:</b>" Sounds like a bunch of hippy bullshit. My mother spanked me and it never went beyond that. I on occasion ... [snip!] ... though is a little ridiculous. I doubt spanking a baby or toddler does anything constructive to their rearing and behavior."</blockquote>




exactly, i dont think spanking is a "gateway" to abuse. its not addictive... im pretty sure. honestly id like to get someone who is an abusers opinion, cause.idk what goes on in their head

Japan 388 posts
25th Apr '13
Quoting Wildflower
Wildflower 🌈 1 child; Oregon 7065 posts
25th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Peyton♪:</b>" That makes me never want to spank again. That's terrible :("</blockquote>



What is terrible? That it scares kids into complying? Yea I agree it is sad, but I don't think parents who spank are horrible people, and I don't think it is going to ruin a kids future or anything, but I like the way my daughters therapist explained it. It made a TON of sense. That's exactly what spanking does. It tells a kid "if you don't do what I say I am going to hurt you" even if you don't spank hard, the kid knows that is what hitting (spanking/slapping) whatever you want to call it, the kid knows it is meant to hurt/ scare them, they k ow it is not nice, ect.
In the long run, they DO work by scaring the kid into complying, but it will never teach them anything useful.

CJKB+JMB=AMB 1 child; Watertown, New York 2525 posts
25th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Wildflower

Wildflower 🌈 1 child; Oregon 7065 posts
25th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Carissa Biron:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Wildflower

CJKB+JMB=AMB 1 child; Watertown, New York 2525 posts
25th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Wildflower

user banned California 36390 posts
25th Apr '13
Quoting Wildflower
Wildflower 🌈 1 child; Oregon 7065 posts
25th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Teenage Girl:</b>" Can you explain the time out method you're using? I swore I would NEVER spank and have done it a few times and I pretty much hate myself for it but the time outs weren't really working."</blockquote>



Edit: so people stop trying to put words in my mouth- I NEVER said she would have to sit in her peed pants. IF she did end up actually peeing, we would clean her up and put her back in time out.
I did not include that in my original post because for one, she didn't even pee. She was just saying that to get out of time out.
And I didn't know people
We're going to try to find any little loophole to make it seem like abuse.



It is hard to explain but I'll try-
It is the basic "rules" of a traditional time out, her therapist just showed us how to do it the correct way.
You just have to be VERY persistent and NEVER give in. If you give in even a tiny bit, it will not work.



The first time she was put in time out, she was wry stubborn ad stayed in time out for almost an hour! We alloyed her to come out after 2 minutes if she was ready to listen, and she refused for almost an hour. She knew the entire time she was free to get out of the time out chair as soon as she was ready, but she really put up a fight.
She tried EVERY trick in the book to get out of time out. "I'm cold mommy! I'm hungry! I'm tired! I'm going to throw up! I'm going to pee my pants! I'm going to poop my pants! Ect. We had to ignore that, and as soon as she would be quiet enough for us to calmly talk to her, we would say "you are being nice and quiet in time out, are your ready to _____ (fill in the blank) if she said no then we would say "ok then you can sit in time out until you are ready to _____."
And then she would start crying again, as soon as she would calm down and be quiet for 5 seconds, we would repeat "you are bein nice and quiet in time out, are you ready to _____?"
And repeat the process until they decide on their own that they are ready to listen.
Once they are ready to comply, you give them the opportunity to do what ou asked, if they do it, then you give lots of praise. If they still refuse, back in time out.
Repeat the process.
The therapist said when she was saying she was going to pee her pants, she might be lying, or she might really need to pee. But it didn't matter. Let her pee her pants. She knows if she just did what we were asking her to do, then we would immodestly take her potty. She was choosing to sit in time out and pee her pants.



That's pretty much everything, but you just have to stay calm, dot beg them to do anything, let it be their choice if they want to do what they were told, or if they want to sit in time out. Don't argue with them, dot answer questions when they are screaming in time out, ect.
There is more to it but it almost impossible to explain, you really have to har someone show you.



It is hard but after that first time, we have only had to put her in time out a couple times, and she is happier, less tantrums, and now she only chides to sit in time out for the 2 minutes. We let her out after she sas she is ready to listen to mommy and daddy.

mamaluvsher4babies 36 kids; California 4230 posts
25th Apr '13

I spank, I am not abusive.

The Blissful Six 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Massachusetts 10260 posts
26th Apr '13
Quoting Wildflower
Mama Rice 34 kids; North Las Vegas, Nevada 11980 posts
26th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Blissful Six:</b>" Her therapist told you to let her pee her pants and sit in it while she's in time out. That is abuse."</blockquote>



That is what I got out of it too. :/

The Blissful Six 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Massachusetts 10260 posts
26th Apr '13
Quoting Mama Rice:" <blockquote><b>Quoting The Blissful Six:</b>" Her therapist told you to let her pee ... [snip!] ... pee her pants and sit in it while she's in time out. That is abuse."</blockquote> That is what I got out of it too. :/"


How hard is it to take them to the pot at least once. If she doesn't go and does end up wetting herself, changer her and then put her back in time out. I would never let my child sit in their own urine. That's disgusting and cruel.

Minion Due September 30; 2 kids; Toccoa, GA, United States 19970 posts
26th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Blissful Six:</b>" Her therapist told you to let her pee her pants and sit in it while she's in time out. That is abuse."</blockquote>




Right?

Minion Due September 30; 2 kids; Toccoa, GA, United States 19970 posts
26th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Blissful Six:</b>" Her therapist told you to let her pee her pants and sit in it while she's in time out. That is abuse."</blockquote>




Right?
I'd rather just spank than make my child sit in pee in time out.

user banned Lesbos, Greece 95211 posts
26th Apr '13

It's a gateway to abuse when spanking is your primary discipline action.



If it's used as a last resort, then it's unlikely.