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help with 16 month old blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
26th Apr '13

My 16 month old is throwing tantrums now after being with a new sitter who has a 2.5 year old. She gets angry and slings things around. The sitter doesn't spank like me and Idk if her kid throws fits. Maybe mine is just going through terrible twos. I try to talk to her and get her to say words or use signs but she gets frustrated. I've tried sitting her down which normally works but she kicks around wildly now and throws herself down. Mainly this happens when she is really tired, wants a bottle or paci. I'm trying to get rid of the pacific and bottle but she has meltdowns. This happens over me not giving her milk or food fast enough either. Also she knows words but won't say them I guess bc she knows I know what she wants and expects me to do it. How do I teach her patience and communication or how do I deal with this gently?



If she us too rough now I say be sweet and rub her cheek or arm so when I say it now she rubs my face or arm but it doesn't work when she throws the fit.

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
26th Apr '13

Okay. First things first, IMO, if she's having these tantrums, it's not the time, quite yet, to try to get her off of a bottle/paci/whatever. One step at a time. But that's just my opinion, you know what's best.



She's probably seeing the 2 1/2 year old (terrible twos and all) do these things occasionally, and imitating it. OR she's jealous to share the attention. OR she could just be going through a phase herself, and it may be completely unrelated to your sitter and her child.



I'd ask the sitter if her child throws fits sometimes. Not in an accusatory way, just tell her you're trying to get to the bottom of what's going on with DD.



And as for her not using words to tell you what she wants, encourage her. When she asks for something, ask "what do you want? Can you show me?" Try to encourage her by pointing to things and saying the names a lot. When you get her a drink, point to the fridge, and say "I'm getting milk." Then when you pour it into her bottle, talk about that, too. It may encourage her to use more words/pointing for things. She's still kind of young, though, she may just still be trying to master those words before using them?



Good luck!

Blessed Mama of Two (: Due May 1 (girl); 1 child; St Paul, Minnesota 325 posts
26th Apr '13

My son went through a phase like that, & I think all LO's do. There isn't much you can do other than try & comfort her & if that doesn't work just ignore her. Cuz you don't wanna give into it or pay negative attention, any attention ya know? As for the bottle font rush to take her off of it bcuz of other ppl making you possibly feel you need to just slowly wean off it. With my son I actually started putting ONLY water in his bottles & if he wanted any apple juice or milk etc it was in a dippy cup or regular cup & literally after about maybe 2 weeks he was officially done with the bottle :) so maybe try that approach.

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
26th Apr '13
Quoting Blessed Mama of Two (::" My son went through a phase like that, & I think all LO's do. There isn't much you can do other than ... [snip!] ... cup or regular cup & literally after about maybe 2 weeks he was officially done with the bottle :) so maybe try that approach."


:!: Works really well. Once they realize that they're not getting anything "good" in the bottle anymore :lol:

GrumpsMama 1 child; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 16132 posts
26th Apr '13

I'm going through this with my 2 year old. I feel like a push over, sometimes. He won't talk for me.. But he will repeat words off his toddler shows, like, watermelon, or raspberry... But he can't say milk! It's frustrating. He also goes out of his way, to walk in front of the coffee table and bang his head and throw a screaming fit.



I'm just going to listen to the advice you get. Clearly what I am doing, is not right.

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
26th Apr '13
Quoting Sc.:" I'm going through this with my 2 year old. I feel like a push over, sometimes. He won't talk for me.. ... [snip!] ... his head and throw a screaming fit. I'm just going to listen to the advice you get. Clearly what I am doing, is not right."


That's not true at all! Toddlers are just difficult. They're a pain in the ass.

Blessed Mama of Two (: Due May 1 (girl); 1 child; St Paul, Minnesota 325 posts
26th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting drunk mayhem.:</b>" :!: Works really well. Once they realize that they're not getting anything "good" in the bottle anymore :lol:"</blockquote>




It definitely does! And I feel it makes them more willing & wanting to also get off the bottle!

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
26th Apr '13
Quoting Blessed Mama of Two (::" <blockquote><b>Quoting drunk mayhem.:</b>" :!: Works really well. Once they realize ... [snip!] ... :lol:"</blockquote> It definitely does! And I feel it makes them more willing & wanting to also get off the bottle!"


Definitely!

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
26th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting drunk mayhem.:</b>" Okay. First things first, IMO, if she's having these tantrums, it's not the time, quite yet, to try to ... [snip!] ... things. She's still kind of young, though, she may just still be trying to master those words before using them? Good luck! "</blockquote>




Yea I don't want to accuse or assume really. Shes been looking down my shirt too and the sitter has big boobs and bf which I don't care bc I bf her. Idk if its just a new age or new environment or what. The sitter says she talks more there saying words I haven't heard. She gets her to eat better too.



I talk to her all the time. I explain momma us making the milk. I sign and say milk and more. I explain explain. She is so not patient but I'm not either. I ask her to hold this while I do this like the diaper bc when I lay her down she gets mad. I say open it or help momma change it. She uses to sign but won't now. She can say milk, more, eat but just wants what she wants. She threw a major fit for 20 min today. I ignored it at first she walked away and started slinging toys. I sat her in her chair and told her we don't kick or throw toys and she threw herself on the floor. She has been swinging on me too. Ugh




You're right about the bottle and paci but I want them gone by 18 months.

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
26th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Blessed Mama of Two (::</b>" My son went through a phase like that, & I think all LO's do. There isn't much you can do other than ... [snip!] ... cup or regular cup & literally after about maybe 2 weeks he was officially done with the bottle :) so maybe try that approach."</blockquote>




Good idea. I've tried before but the tantrums come. Nobody is pressuring me but 12 months was my limit but she wouldn't take a sippy. Plus I give in lol

Sofie+#2 Due March 18; TTC since Jun 2014; 1 child; Sheffield, So, United Kingdom 7768 posts
status 26th Apr '13

It's a really tough age for them. They know what they want but can't communicate it so get really frustrated. DD was having similar episodes at that age.
Sometimes you have to let them get through their emotions and give them space, but sometimes they let you hold them. It's totally situation dependent and you just have to follow her cues.
It's really hard, they don't understand yet that their request physically cannot be carried out milliseconds after they decide they want it, that's something that comes with time.
Just keep being considerate of her feelings and needs :)

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
26th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Sofia's Mummy♥:</b>" It's a really tough age for them. They know what they want but can't communicate it so get really frustrated. ... [snip!] ... they decide they want it, that's something that comes with time. Just keep being considerate of her feelings and needs :)"</blockquote>




She will be held sometimes but anything I hold she snatches and tries to sling it. She arches and kicks. I go t think she us trying to kick me but just wildly and she kind of hits but not really. Idk



How do you deal with them throwing or hitting? I don't want to tolerate that.

Mrs.Mud 6 kids; 2 angel babies; North Dakota 3314 posts
26th Apr '13

As far as bottles are concerned, I would just take them away. Throw them out, be done with them. Period. End of story. Do not look back. This is why you're supposed to phase out of bottles before the child starts realizing that mommy/daddy will give in if I throw a fit for one... She will drink when she's gets good and thirsty enough and she won't die until then, I promise. If she won't drink, just offer fruits and veggies that are high in water content and yogurt, cheese, etc. so she gets dairy in another form.
Pacis I wouldn't be too concerned about yet... I let my children have them until 2.
As far as the fits, ignore them. Put her in a safe place and remove yourself from her sight. Once she realizes that tantrums are getting her nowhere, she'll stop. Voila.
I'm a no-nonsense kind of parent. I don't believe in taking a "gentle" approach to everything. Kids are a hell of a lot smarter than we give them credit for and sometimes they just need to be called on their bs. lol But I also don't believe in spanking a 16-mo. In her eyes, you're just hitting her and that's a contradiction to the way you want her to behave.
Of course it's not going to be easy, but parenting isn't. You can't give in or you're just escalating the problem. At this age, they need consistency more than anything and tons of praise when they do something RIGHT.

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
26th Apr '13
Quoting naturally crunchy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting drunk mayhem.:</b>" Okay. First things first, IMO, if she's ... [snip!] ... on the floor. She has been swinging on me too. Ugh You're right about the bottle and paci but I want them gone by 18 months."


That's pretty normal. DD recently went through that. She's gotten better now but still has tantrums sometimes. (she'll be 2 next month) DS did, too, at around that age.
Just gotta ride it out. Just move her so if she's freaking out, she doesn't hurt herself. And then walk away if you need to. Sometimes even looking at DD will make a tantrum so much worse.

Sofie+#2 Due March 18; TTC since Jun 2014; 1 child; Sheffield, So, United Kingdom 7768 posts
status 26th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting naturally crunchy:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Sofia's Mummy♥:</b>" It's a really tough age for them. ... [snip!] ... wildly and she kind of hits but not really. Idk How do you deal with them throwing or hitting? I don't want to tolerate that."</blockquote>




Just ensure that she's in a safe environment, you could put cushions down around her so she can't hurt herself.
And hitting during a tantrum means you're too close, so just keep your distance. I usually say 'ill move back a little, and I'm here if you need me, I'm here when you're ready to cuddle or play and I understand that you're angry/sad/frustrated'.



Throwing during playing or tantrums?