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Anyone have a high-needs baby? Kimmy Gibbler 2 kids; Grapevine, Texas 8039 posts
28th Apr '13

Dd is 2 months old and very high-needs. Yes, I know all babies are needy, but my son wasn't like this at all. He was cool as long as he had a fresh diaper and was fed. Happy to be in his swing while I attended to other things. My daughter is different. She is very fussy and wants to be held ALL the time. Not only does she want to be held, but she's picky about HOW she is held. You can't cradle her like a typical baby, you can't set her on your lap. She wants to be held with her head on your shoulder or held standing up and looking at you. Lol. She will fall asleep on me, but if I put her down, she wakes up. Sometimes, I'll put her down and she'll stay asleep, but then wake up just wanting me to stand in there and pat her back. And if I stop, she cries. Lol. She just craves closeness, which I love most of the time. She's a little snuggle bug. BUT I have things I need to get done and it's so hard! I wear her when I need to do the dishes or laundry, but sometimes I need to shower or clean (like, with cleaning supplies) and I can't physically be there for her. Is this something she will grow out of, or do high-needs babies typically stay high-needs. Sometimes I wonder if there is something else going on... like reflux or something that makes her uncomfortable when she's put down?

Hy'ska 2 kids; Washington 50791 posts
status 28th Apr '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Asher and Haddie's Mommy:</b>" Dd is 2 months old and very high-needs. Yes, I know all babies are needy, but my son wasn't like this ... [snip!] ... I wonder if there is something else going on... like reflux or something that makes her uncomfortable when she's put down?"</blockquote>




My oldest was very high needs. Dr sears fussy baby book helped a lot. It's all about high needs babies.

user banned (boy); 2 kids; Fucking, Austria 36337 posts
28th Apr '13

My youngest was and still is very high needs. No reflux, just a big momma's boy.



Here is a good article.
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fussy-baby/high-need-baby/12-features-high-need-baby

Belle De Jour Due October 8 (boy); 2 kids; Kentucky 17892 posts
28th Apr '13

I don't anymore but my youngest was high needs. She had REALLY bad refulx when she was born due to being a preemie.
I would ask the pedi what they think.
Otherwise the best I can suggest is letting her cry a little bit. If you need to take a shower then put her in her crib on her back and take your shower. It wont hurt her to cry a little bit.

1inpink2inblue Switzerland 11961 posts
28th Apr '13

You just described my youngest to a t. He had ar but even after treating it he was very high needs. Once he hit 5 months it got better. Its way better now at 6 months even. He is still kind of needy but he will play by himself for long periods too.

Kimmy Gibbler 2 kids; Grapevine, Texas 8039 posts
28th Apr '13

It's hard, too, because the older generation doesn't subscribe to the whole "high-needs" thing, so my mom and grandma are always telling me that she's "spoiled" or joke about her having "back problems" so she can't be put down. I mean, they say it in a loving and joking manner, but they really think it's MY fault. Like, because I hold her, she needs to be held, not that I hold her BECAUSE she needs it. They are always telling me to let her cry and stuff, but I just can't. I get so worried that she's going to stop trusting that I will be there for her.

♥♥KristaAnne♥♥ 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ, .., United States 20434 posts
status 28th Apr '13

my youngest was like that. He cried whenever he wasn't held and they checked his ears at 5 months and discovered fluid build up. Maybe this could be the case?

Kimmy Gibbler 2 kids; Grapevine, Texas 8039 posts
28th Apr '13
Quoting KristaAnne:" my youngest was like that. He cried whenever he wasn't held and they checked his ears at 5 months and discovered fluid build up. Maybe this could be the case? "


Oh I'll ask my doctor about that! She does pull on her ears, but it seems like it's her way of soothing. She won't take a pacifier, but when I hold her, she rubs the back of her hair, ears, and cheeks?

Vivian [♥] 2 kids; Balls Deep, in, Georgia 13909 posts
28th Apr '13

My daughter wasn't a high needs baby but she's a high needs toddler now :x:x

Jeeper 1 child; Orlando, Florida 2287 posts
28th Apr '13

You described DD to a T. She is 9 months old now and still wants to be held all the time. She will follow me around and grab my legs while I am trying to cook and clean. This morning she had a screaming fit because I wouldn't pick her up while I was cutting up her breakfast with a sharp knife. I had to co-sleep and learn how to do things 1 handed because a sling or baby carrier was not good enough for her. She wanted to be in your arms all the time. Once she learns how to crawl it will get a little easier. I had to use modified CIO to get her to sleep at night though because once she hit about 6 months old she wouldn't rock to sleep anymore she wanted to be held and see everything and was afraid if she went to sleep she might miss something.

Mrs.Mud 6 kids; 2 angel babies; North Dakota 3279 posts
28th Apr '13

My 10-mo is extremely high needs. I can't walk around a corner without him freaking out. He sleeps with us (not on purpose) just won't stay in his own bed anymore. He's breastfed but my first 2 were too, so I don't think that's the reason for his over-attachment to me. Even if my husband tries to hold or entertain him, I can't leave his sight. It really sucks and I feel bad for hubby. We also just found out I'm pregnant so Idk wtf he's going to do when a newborn gets here. I can't even think about it, it stresses me out.

Baby_Majick 52 kids; Sullivan, Missouri 4031 posts
28th Apr '13
Quoting Asher and Haddie's Mommy:" Dd is 2 months old and very high-needs. Yes, I know all babies are needy, but my son wasn't like this ... [snip!] ... I wonder if there is something else going on... like reflux or something that makes her uncomfortable when she's put down?"


This sounds like my son, he's 7 weeks... and he's so needy!! The only one that can calm him when he's really upset is me... does she co sleep with you?

Kimmy Gibbler 2 kids; Grapevine, Texas 8039 posts
28th Apr '13
Quoting Baby_Majick:" This sounds like my son, he's 7 weeks... and he's so needy!! The only one that can calm him when he's really upset is me... does she co sleep with you?"


She just started. I will get her to FINALLY pass out, then she's okay in her bassinet for a while. But when she wakes up the first time for a feeding, there is no going back. I was able to work at it to get her to go back to her bassinet when I wasn't working, but now that I'm back at work, it's so much easier to just put a b**b in her mouth and go to sleep with her. Lol. Her going to sleep in her bassinet first is a must, though. I have to be able to stretch at least a little. Haha. I woke up the other day and my ass was so sore because I hadn't moved an inch in my sleep.

Baby_Majick 52 kids; Sullivan, Missouri 4031 posts
28th Apr '13
Quoting Asher and Haddie's Mommy:" It's hard, too, because the older generation doesn't subscribe to the whole "high-needs" thing, so my ... [snip!] ... to let her cry and stuff, but I just can't. I get so worried that she's going to stop trusting that I will be there for her. "


I know how you feel there, everyone says I spoiled him but you can't spoil an infant, they aren't old enough to manipulate you to get their way. My son can just grunt or move around for a bottle and i'll get it... I don't let him cry and if someone is holding him and he's crying my instinct is to take him away asap lol...

Baby_Majick 52 kids; Sullivan, Missouri 4031 posts
28th Apr '13
Quoting Asher and Haddie's Mommy:" She just started. I will get her to FINALLY pass out, then she's okay in her bassinet for a while. But ... [snip!] ... to stretch at least a little. Haha. I woke up the other day and my ass was so sore because I hadn't moved an inch in my sleep. "


My son is the same way, he has to be in bed with me... I have to also hold him with his head on my shoulder, or hold him tightly rocking him... my arms hurt all the time, because he's always on me. I went out last night to have one drink with some friends... the whole time I was gone he screamed, my husband was going to go insane.. Sadly I hadn't drove myself otherwise I would been home the minute my husband texted me... but the minute I got home, he was fine. I held him.. he went right to sleep.... it is irritating sometimes, I love that he wants me... but I need some time away too.