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Mourning death TheyCallMeMOMMY♥ 3 kids; Albuquerque, New Mexico 6820 posts
29th Apr '13

SO's little brother died on April 21st. He od'd, vomited in his sleep and swallowed. But the time his gf found him he was already dying. He was on life support until April 24th since he was an organ donor, they had to get the recipients here to take his organs. We were finally able to lay him to rest on Saturday. Since this all happened, SO has been talking to his little brothers gf daily. Text, calls, seeing each other. I understand she is alone now, and not to mention pregnant as well and so SO feels the need to step in for her. Nice of him, right? Well problem this chic is shady as hell! She's made it very clear months ago that she is attracted to SO. She even told his little brother, "if I would have meet your brother first, I wouldnt have even give you a second look. Hes sexy" :roll: SO was the cause of many fights between them two over the year. She is one of those girls that needs the attention. Well a few months ago I was using SO's phone cause mine was dead. I was texting my sister on it. While I noticed he had a text from a number that wasnt programed into his phone. It was HER! Flirting with him. I asked him what the hell was going on? He is so oblivious to what was going on and just said 'oh she just wanted to see how I was'.....um why? Ask your BROTHER?



Anyways, thats just a few things. I understand BOTH, well all of us are mourning the death of someone was all LOVE. And I understand she is now alone, pregnant and sad. But when does this cross the line? When do I tell SO NO MORE? He is talking about being there with her when she has the baby? Im NOT ok with this at all. He even told me that they were at his moms the other day and him and her went into the little brothers room together and just chilled on his bed.............SO would flip shit if the tables were turned. But I know I need to let him mourn....



Someone help??

I♥RYLEIGH 49 kids; Windsor, Ontario 10434 posts
29th Apr '13

Seems like she's falling into the arms of the brother.... I wouldn't be OK with this personally but I may just be the jealous type.

A&J. ♥ 1 child; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 5613 posts
29th Apr '13

They can grieve separately, and when they grieve together it does not need to be all the time, or flirtatious in any way :-/

[JadeLee] 1 child; Minnesota 12190 posts
29th Apr '13

I would be so torn also. I wouldn't know weather to be angry or let it be.
I am sorry you are going through that it is a tough situation, but your SO needs to realize he has his own family to take care of. Yeah he can help her out some but not as much as he is doing.

Regina George ♡ 1 child; New York, New York 20750 posts
29th Apr '13

Line was crossed when she was texting SO flirting. I personally wouldn't be ok with it.



How often does he see her now?

TheyCallMeMOMMY♥ 3 kids; Albuquerque, New Mexico 6820 posts
29th Apr '13
Quoting I♥RYLEIGH:" Seems like she's falling into the arms of the brother.... I wouldn't be OK with this personally but I may just be the jealous type. "

Im far from the jealous type. But I know what this girls intentions are. I know where its headed. And SO is soooo blind. He keeps saying "she has no one now and I feel bad" wtf about how I feel?

Vindictive 50 kids; Switzerland 30558 posts
29th Apr '13

I would put my foot down. She may be grieving, but she needs to know that the way she is handling it is NOT okay. Your SO is not going to take the place of his brother. And you need to let your SO know that this behavior is bothering you. Let him know that he can be there for her, but he needs to know what is appropriate and what is not. Don't lead the poor girl on by laying in a bed with her when he's vulnerable.

TheyCallMeMOMMY♥ 3 kids; Albuquerque, New Mexico 6820 posts
29th Apr '13
Quoting Regina George ♡:" Line was crossed when she was texting SO flirting. I personally wouldn't be ok with it. How often does he see her now? "

Well he was with her every single day last week. From Friday April 19th (when it happened) till Saturday. They were at the hospital together, or making funeral arrangements etc. See the whole family was together, my boss is a douche and wouldn't let me off so I couldn't go with him. But she is only attaching herself to SO. Not his mom, dad, sisters, no one but SO.

mommy to C, B and F 19 kids; 1 angel baby; Escondido, California 1175 posts
29th Apr '13

Mourning and tryig to step in on your SO are two different things and shes stepping in something needs to be said to her in mt opion

Regina George ♡ 1 child; New York, New York 20750 posts
29th Apr '13
Quoting TheyCallMeMOMMY♥:" Well he was with her every single day last week. From Friday April 19th (when it happened) till Saturday. ... [snip!] ... let me off so I couldn't go with him. But she is only attaching herself to SO. Not his mom, dad, sisters, no one but SO."



You need to set boundaries, they do NOT need to be together everyday texting/calling.
Let SO know this is bothering you, I think your feelings are justified 100%

Regina George ♡ 1 child; New York, New York 20750 posts
29th Apr '13
Quoting Vindictive:" I would put my foot down. She may be grieving, but she needs to know that the way she is handling it ... [snip!] ... to know what is appropriate and what is not. Don't lead the poor girl on by laying in a bed with her when he's vulnerable."

:!::!::!::!:

☮Hippie Jesus☮ 2 kids; West Virginia 10560 posts
29th Apr '13

Maybe you need to talk to both of them face to face when you're all three together and tell them that this isn't how it's going to be. No more laying on the bed together to grieve and no more of her texting him to flirt. Make sure they both know that you think it's okay for them to grieve, but they are crossing the line.

TheyCallMeMOMMY♥ 3 kids; Albuquerque, New Mexico 6820 posts
29th Apr '13
Quoting Vindictive:" I would put my foot down. She may be grieving, but she needs to know that the way she is handling it ... [snip!] ... to know what is appropriate and what is not. Don't lead the poor girl on by laying in a bed with her when he's vulnerable."

Ive tried talking to him, and he thinks Im being redic.
But ya I totally agree. I know SO, he would never intentionally lead her on. But he also does not realize that she DOES have a thing for him. Neither of them are little kids that doent see whats happening. Last night he was laying on the bed, and I layed next to him. His phone beeped and he picked it up, it was her. He opened it real fast, had a quick smirk and when I looked closed it. I got pissed and told him that was enough. He seriously thinks Im making it bigger then it has to be and now I know for sure he is going to hide it form her.

I♥RYLEIGH 49 kids; Windsor, Ontario 10434 posts
29th Apr '13
Quoting TheyCallMeMOMMY♥:" Im far from the jealous type. But I know what this girls intentions are. I know where its headed. And SO is soooo blind. He keeps saying "she has no one now and I feel bad" wtf about how I feel?"


I'd put my foot down.... or I'd go to the girlfriend and tell her that the communication needs to be limited and you don't appreciate her acting the way she is.

TheyCallMeMOMMY♥ 3 kids; Albuquerque, New Mexico 6820 posts
29th Apr '13
Quoting [Hippie Jesus]:" Maybe you need to talk to both of them face to face when you're all three together and tell them that ... [snip!] ... her texting him to flirt. Make sure they both know that you think it's okay for them to grieve, but they are crossing the line."

Next time I see her I will. I hoping now that everything is said and done there will be no more her until the baby comes. So i dont have to see her. I did tell her yesterday that if she needed to talk to call ME, text ME, not SO since he is a truck driver and cant use his phone on the road. She just looked at me fake as hell and said 'ok'.....