Reply
Aspergers/ASD and friends lilsoph 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Kokomo, Indiana 4368 posts
30th Apr '13

Until very recently my 5yo has been very uninterested in friendship/social situations. Slowly he has started coming out of his shell some but he is definitely very different and often gets ignored or the other kids are mean to him. He never realizes this, the other day i heard a neighbor kid tell him 'You are getting on my nerves, you are so stupid' and he continued seeking said kid nonstop (of course i brought him inside).
When this happens and i remove him from the situation while explaining to him that sometimes kids don't want to play he gets very upset at me and has a meltdown... How would you handle this? it is so upsetting to watch, i am terrified of him starting kindergarten

Turd Ferguson Bangkok, Thailand 4583 posts
30th Apr '13

My son is on the spectrum as well.



I think some kids are assholes in general. You just have to teach your son about personal space ( my son gets in everyone's) and politely remind him if he is persistent. I know it can be heartbreaking but redirecting sometimes helps too.



Try not to put too much emphasis on the diagnosis being a link to the way he is treated though. It very well could be, as I said, some kids are assholes, period. You just have to remind him that not everybody will want to play all the time, but that you love him, and you know the rest. :)

Baby ♥3♥ OTW Due January 11; 2 kids; West Virginia 11874 posts
30th Apr '13

My 6 year old was just diagnosed Aspergers a couple months ago. But around 5 I noticed him doing this too. I would always try and distract him away from the other kids if I noticed the kids getting annoyed with him. Luckily the kids he regularly plays with has explained to her kids Andrews condition and are all ways finding ways to involve him.

Elena Gilbert 4 kids; La Center, KY, United States 2730 posts
30th Apr '13

im watching because my nephew has aspergers. and does this.. except if they make fun of him or dont want to play. he gets violent toward them (choking, hitting, shoving, hold them down,) and hes as gotten to the point that he is very rude to everyone even us, if we dont do what he wants or if any of my kids dont do what he wants, he tells us we are the devil and we are going to die, or he hope our house catches on fire. im am at a loss for what to do, and his mom just brushes it and doesnt care that he says and does those things. all of his cousin play with him just fine but if they tell him no they dont want play that game he gets down right mad.

Baby ♥3♥ OTW Due January 11; 2 kids; West Virginia 11874 posts
30th Apr '13

Their mother explained that he is different.

lilsoph 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Kokomo, Indiana 4368 posts
30th Apr '13

Thank you everyone for the replies :)
In a way I am glad that he isn't the only one doing this as at least I can ask for advice lol
I definitely dont put emphasis on the diagnosis, he doesnt know about it or anything, but I know that because of it my approach will have to be slightly different (if that makes any sense).
I will continue to explain to him that sometimes kids just don't want to play just like he doesnt want to sometimes (this is super hard for him to understand, but we will keep working on it) and to redirect him.
Are your kiddos in school? how do they do there? do they have friends?

lilsoph 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Kokomo, Indiana 4368 posts
30th Apr '13
Quoting Elena Gilbert:" im watching because my nephew has aspergers. and does this.. except if they make fun of him or dont want ... [snip!] ... things. all of his cousin play with him just fine but if they tell him no they dont want play that game he gets down right mad."


How old is he? My son doesn't have the understanding for this kind of talk but he does get physical sometimes (mostly with me) when he can't express something... I hope something helps your nephew

Turd Ferguson Bangkok, Thailand 4583 posts
30th Apr '13

I just noticed you are from Indiana, so am I. :)



My son just started preschool. He does okay with the other kids. Sometimes he is resistant to their routines.



He also is not entirely potty trained which is really stressful. Luckily the preschool director is amazing. She has taken it upon herself to be in 'charge' of helping him potty train while I am at work.

Baby ♥3♥ OTW Due January 11; 2 kids; West Virginia 11874 posts
30th Apr '13

He is not in school. I kept him out a year so i could work with him since we had just gotten the diagnosis.

Baby ♥3♥ OTW Due January 11; 2 kids; West Virginia 11874 posts
30th Apr '13

He does have friends. My neighbor has 6 year old twin boys and a 4 year old girl. They always have a great time. Their mother is a great women who has taught them very well. My son has come out and learned so much just from playing with them.

lilsoph 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Kokomo, Indiana 4368 posts
30th Apr '13
Quoting Turd Ferguson:" I just noticed you are from Indiana, so am I. :) My son just started preschool. He does okay with the ... [snip!] ... preschool director is amazing. She has taken it upon herself to be in 'charge' of helping him potty train while I am at work."


Awesome :D we just moved here 3 years ago and are supposed to move out sometime this year, but i have enjoyed it. Thankfully i like corn :P



that is great that they are so helpful! we had a great preschool year when he was 3 and this past one was so awful i pulled him out 3 months in.

lilsoph 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Kokomo, Indiana 4368 posts
30th Apr '13
Quoting Andrew&Riley'sMom:" He does have friends. My neighbor has 6 year old twin boys and a 4 year old girl. They always have a ... [snip!] ... mother is a great women who has taught them very well. My son has come out and learned so much just from playing with them."


awwwe thats great! my son plays with the neighbor kids but they are the ones we are having a little trouble with... Will your little boy start K or 1st grade? i so understand keeping him home, I am considering homeschooling more and more

Elena Gilbert 4 kids; La Center, KY, United States 2730 posts
30th Apr '13
Quoting lilsoph:" How old is he? My son doesn't have the understanding for this kind of talk but he does get physical sometimes (mostly with me) when he can't express something... I hope something helps your nephew"


he is 7 almost 8. I dont know where he has heard the things he says, and they are pretty bad at times. he gets in trouble at school almost everyday for doing or saying something to a kid, Like this year a little girl that rode his bus,they had to sit together, her parents shaved her head, and he got on the bus and threw a fit, called her boy and told he was ugly and she girls dont do that crap, all kinds of mean things, he got suspended off the bus, and everyone thought it was FUNNY! really, so i set him down and told that it was really mean of him to treat her that way and he doesnt like it when kids make fun of him, so why would he make fun of her. he yelled at me of course because i didnt think it was ok, luckly DS is his BFF as of now and he is quick to tell him when hes treating someone wrong for no reason, and talking to him when he says mean things.
that has helped some,

Baby ♥3♥ OTW Due January 11; 2 kids; West Virginia 11874 posts
30th Apr '13

He will be starting K. We will see how it goes. If he has trouble, we'll homeschool. My neighbor home schools so she will be a lot of help if we decide to do that.

Baby ♥3♥ OTW Due January 11; 2 kids; West Virginia 11874 posts
30th Apr '13

Have you tried talking to these kids parents? Maybe try and get them to explain to them about him?