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Phallus Cranium clusterfuck, LA, Sri Lanka 107891 posts
1st May '13
Quoting Sofia's Mummy♥:" You're only talking about how it's hard for YOU to readjust. What about him? He's so young, he doesn't ... [snip!] ... think you need to be more considerate of his feelings rather than just try to mold him into the child that you want him to be."

exactly

I Stab People 3 kids; Zambia 6604 posts
1st May '13
Quoting [Hippie Jesus]:" I'm not doing everything at once and I'm not ungrateful. It isn't just lately that he's been with me. ... [snip!] ... trying to get him into a good routine again. We used to be very good about our routine. It's just sometimes discouraging."

there is still absolutely no reason why he couldnt live with you. theres no excuse. i dont buy the whole messy divorce thing, you had time to meet someone else and get pregnant, but you didnt have time to raise your son? im sorry but just no.

☮Hippie Jesus☮ 2 kids; West Virginia 10560 posts
1st May '13

We didn't just make this big change last night, folks. We've been working at it for a bit. And we're both doing a lot better than before. Like I said, I know it's my fault. This is why I'm really trying to get everything straightened out for him. I just get discouraged sometimes and wanted to spill about it. Thanks.



The small successes like him falling asleep just now with no cup are actually huge successes for us and I realize that it's possible to get back to where we were. I was just hoping to get some reassurance. Boy am I ever already aware that this is all my fault.

Sofie+#2 Due March 18; TTC since Jun 2014; 1 child; Sheffield, So, United Kingdom 7402 posts
1st May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting [Hippie Jesus]:</b>" I'm not doing everything at once and I'm not ungrateful. It isn't just lately that he's been with me. ... [snip!] ... trying to get him into a good routine again. We used to be very good about our routine. It's just sometimes discouraging."</blockquote>




Could you put his bed next to yours? Then there's more room and you can roll him back onto his when he sleeps.



Can you get out of the house with him more so that there will rarely be the option of having cartoons on? Go to the park etc. if he was with you so much, how did he get used to having them on all day?



The sippy is just something you have to ease him off. You sound like you're on the right track with it.

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14109 posts
1st May '13
Quoting [Hippie Jesus]:" I'm not doing everything at once and I'm not ungrateful. It isn't just lately that he's been with me. ... [snip!] ... trying to get him into a good routine again. We used to be very good about our routine. It's just sometimes discouraging."


If you were taking care of him during the day, how did he get used to napping with a sippy and watching cartoons, since you don't allow that? On that note, how do you even know what you'd allow since you pretty much had a year and half break from having a kid? :?



It sounds to me like you got knocked up, ran off with your boyfriend, and left your kid in the dust. I'm glad you're finally taking responsibility but stop making excuses and take it slow. He is much more vulnerable than you are.

Sassyscorpio Due November 4; Minnesota 145 posts
1st May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting I Stab People:</b>" there is still absolutely no reason why he couldnt live with you. theres no excuse. i dont buy the whole ... [snip!] ... thing, you had time to meet someone else and get pregnant, but you didnt have time to raise your son? im sorry but just no."</blockquote>




This!!!!! :)

☮Hippie Jesus☮ 2 kids; West Virginia 10560 posts
1st May '13
Quoting I Stab People:" there is still absolutely no reason why he couldnt live with you. theres no excuse. i dont buy the whole ... [snip!] ... thing, you had time to meet someone else and get pregnant, but you didnt have time to raise your son? im sorry but just no."


He has been with my since early in SO and mine's relationship... and was with me at the time I got pregnant as well. I am not saying that he started staying with me again last night.

Thr3e Little Birds 35 kids; Marysville, Washington 2720 posts
1st May '13
Quoting .Colleen.:" I know this is not the type of response you are looking for but you sound terribly ungrateful and condescending ... [snip!] ... and picking apart and being nasty about every habit that does not agree with your 'so called' parenting is really disgusting"

I have to agree with this. I honestly don't get how you were able to meet someone new and get pregnant with their child, but you couldn't raise your own? O.o. Give the kid a little grace, his whole world was just turned upside down. I have been in his shoes and it is very confusing.

Kimber-lily Due September 27 (girl); 4 kids; Nova Scotia 28962 posts
1st May '13

How long have you had him back for?
It will just take some time for him to adjust, you will both get there.

Thr3e Little Birds 35 kids; Marysville, Washington 2720 posts
1st May '13
Quoting Supafly★:" If you were taking care of him during the day, how did he get used to napping with a sippy and watching ... [snip!] ... glad you're finally taking responsibility but stop making excuses and take it slow. He is much more vulnerable than you are. "

:!:



☮Hippie Jesus☮ 2 kids; West Virginia 10560 posts
1st May '13

Thanks everyone. Nowhere did I say that we just began making this transition last night. It has been awhile in the making and the slow progress was just discouraging for me. I certainly didn't run off with a boyfriend and get pregnant while my son was in my mom's care. He's here now and has been here. What mainly got me thinking about posting this was sitting here thinking about his bedtime situation still being difficult. I'm not sure what to do. I thought I could get some advice. The sippy cup issue is actually coming along better and the cartoons could be much worse, I suppose.



I'm about 7 months pregnant. Kaden had been staying with me for probably about 3 1/2 months before that... So whatever the math is. We haven't just started this process last night and I didn't even realize how big the sippy problem was until too late, but I'm glad we're getting that straightened out first.



I love my son and miss every second that I ever missed with him. It was definitely my fault, I know. I'm still trying to make it right and thought I could get some good advice at least about bedtime. Thanks anyway.

Phallus Cranium clusterfuck, LA, Sri Lanka 107891 posts
1st May '13
Quoting [Hippie Jesus]:" Thanks everyone. Nowhere did I say that we just began making this transition last night. It has been ... [snip!] ... I know. I'm still trying to make it right and thought I could get some good advice at least about bedtime. Thanks anyway."


noone said that you did, idk why you feel the need to keep pointing this out.

I hope you are up to the task when #2 comes, because it is a whole different ballpark from part time parenting of 1.

☮Hippie Jesus☮ 2 kids; West Virginia 10560 posts
1st May '13
Quoting .Colleen.:" noone said that you did, idk why you feel the need to keep pointing this out. I hope you are up to the task when #2 comes, because it is a whole different ballpark from part time parenting of 1."


Actually, it was said that I "ran off and got knocked up". That's not even a fair accusation to make. Clearly I've not been a great mother the entire time, but I definitely didn't ditch my son to go run around with a man. What I am guilty of is letting my mom and them keep him in hopes that I could help his father... or fix things with him... make it work, blah blah. A huge waste of time and that was the mistake of the century. And of course I'm up to it. No one is punching holes in the walls of my house and threatening to kill themselves every other day now. SO takes care of my son like his own and this is the way the household should have been when I was married. I was just too dumb to get out of it for awhile and that was my own fault.

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14109 posts
1st May '13
Quoting [Hippie Jesus]:" Thanks everyone. Nowhere did I say that we just began making this transition last night. It has been ... [snip!] ... I know. I'm still trying to make it right and thought I could get some good advice at least about bedtime. Thanks anyway."


We gave you advice. Stop being selfish and put his needs before yours. He was uprooted from what seems like the only stable environment he's ever had.



From your OP:
"I haven't exactly gotten Kaden to stay here ALL the time as he should, but he is with me so much more than he used to be. Honestly, if I could get a few of the bad habits that he picked up at my mom's straightened out, it would be easier for me to make sure he was here all the time."



So you still don't have him full-time and now your only reason is because you can't break him of his habits. That's the part everyone has a problem with. That makes you seem like you're not really mother material, to put it nicely.

user banned California 36390 posts
1st May '13
Quoting Supafly★:" We gave you advice. Stop being selfish and put his needs before yours. He was uprooted from what seems ... [snip!] ... That's the part everyone has a problem with. That makes you seem like you're not really mother material, to put it nicely. "


To be fair, it's probably easier on her LO to transition away from his grandparents slowly.