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Thr3e Little Birds 35 kids; Marysville, Washington 2720 posts
1st May '13
Quoting Supafly★:" We gave you advice. Stop being selfish and put his needs before yours. He was uprooted from what seems ... [snip!] ... That's the part everyone has a problem with. That makes you seem like you're not really mother material, to put it nicely. "

Yes. This is what I had a problem with. We are supposed to love our children unconditionally, not only when they are being good. What a horrible message you are sending to your son. "Oh you are annoying me with your habbits. Off to grannys you go." :roll:

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14109 posts
1st May '13
Quoting Teenage Girl:" To be fair, it's probably easier on her LO to transition away from his grandparents slowly."


This is true. I didn't think of that. But neither did she - she's more concerned about "not dealing with his habits" more than getting him used to her. From what it sounds like in that paragraph I quoted.

MamaCass{+JOE} 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Pennsylvania 42355 posts
1st May '13

As for the TV thing....Just turn it off! You want him to play outside and be a kid, then turn the TV off and take him to the park. I guarantee he won't be crying about the TV if he's outside playing.



As for the bed thing...you just have to be persistent. Set a bedtime routine and put him to sleep in his bed. Every time he gets out of bed, you return him to bed. You firmly, yet gently explain to him that everybody sleeps in their bed.



Same with the sippy cup - just don't give it to him. Let him have a drink before he goes to bed, and then have him tell his sippy cup night night. It might take a few nights for him to adjust, but he will eventually.

Kimber-lily Due September 27; 4 kids; Nova Scotia 28962 posts
1st May '13
Quoting Thr3e Little Birds:" Yes. This is what I had a problem with. We are supposed to love our children unconditionally, not only ... [snip!] ... What a horrible message you are sending to your son. "Oh you are annoying me with your habbits. Off to grannys you go." :roll:"


And not everyone is capable of that. Not everyone is meant to be a mother. Congratulations that you fit into the high percentage of women who have those capabilities. But shame on you for talking down on someone who may not be able to live up to societies expectations of 'mom'.
People need to have some f**king compassion, give the judgemental shit a break.

user banned California 36390 posts
1st May '13
Quoting Supafly★:" This is true. I didn't think of that. But neither did she - she's more concerned about "not dealing ... [snip!] ... about "not dealing with his habits" more than getting him used to her. From what it sounds like in that paragraph I quoted. "


Honestly, I feel for the OP. If it wasn't for my in-laws, I don't know what I would do. They help with LO all the time because my MIL is an AMAZING woman, mother, person, grandmother and I am just not. I can't always handle being a parent and DH is gone a lot for work. I am very grateful for the people in my life who help me.

Sofia's Mummy♥ 1 child; United Kingdom 7331 posts
1st May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kimber-lily:</b>" And not everyone is capable of that. Not everyone is meant to be a mother. Congratulations that you ... [snip!] ... to live up to societies expectations of 'mom'. People need to have some f**king compassion, give the judgemental shit a break."</blockquote>




But she's having another child..

Kimber-lily Due September 27; 4 kids; Nova Scotia 28962 posts
1st May '13
Quoting Sofia's Mummy♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Kimber-lily:</b>" And not everyone is capable of that. Not ... [snip!] ... to have some f**king compassion, give the judgemental shit a break."</blockquote> But she's having another child.."


So what? Some people need help with raising kids, and obviously she didn't have that from her ex husband. Reaching out for help is not wrong.

Thr3e Little Birds 35 kids; Marysville, Washington 2720 posts
1st May '13
Quoting Kimber-lily:" And not everyone is capable of that. Not everyone is meant to be a mother. Congratulations that you ... [snip!] ... to live up to societies expectations of 'mom'. People need to have some f**king compassion, give the judgemental shit a break."

Meh. I am judgmental about this because I was raised by someone who did the same thing to me. I have been to years of counciling to deal with all of the emotional trauma it caused. Sometimes someone needs someone to point out something as serious as this so that they can nip it in the butt before it is too late. Honestly because I have been through it, I can say that I feel it is a form of abuse. I do not think that OP is to that point, or doing it intentionally, but it still will wear emotionally on the baby. I would speak up if I felt a child was being abused or neglected, why not speak up if I feel a child is being traumatized emotionally?

Thr3e Little Birds 35 kids; Marysville, Washington 2720 posts
1st May '13
Quoting Kimber-lily:" So what? Some people need help with raising kids, and obviously she didn't have that from her ex husband. Reaching out for help is not wrong. "


There is a difference between reaching out for help and ditching your kids because you don't want to deal with their habbits.

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14109 posts
1st May '13
Quoting Teenage Girl:" Honestly, I feel for the OP. If it wasn't for my in-laws, I don't know what I would do. They help with ... [snip!] ... I can't always handle being a parent and DH is gone a lot for work. I am very grateful for the people in my life who help me."


I'm not putting down family help. But she doesn't seem grateful at all. Not many parents would take a child in for that long, and she's on here saying it's not "her" way, when in reality her way is no way because she wasn't with him.



And now, she is continuing to have her parents take him because she can't break his habits. She is only looking out for herself.

Sofia's Mummy♥ 1 child; United Kingdom 7331 posts
1st May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kimber-lily:</b>" So what? Some people need help with raising kids, and obviously she didn't have that from her ex husband. Reaching out for help is not wrong. "</blockquote>




Idk, if I were finding it that difficult to deal with the child I already have, I would go and have another until I felt far more secure in my relationship with said child.

I Stab People 3 kids; Zambia 6604 posts
1st May '13
Quoting Supafly★:" I'm not putting down family help. But she doesn't seem grateful at all. Not many parents would take ... [snip!] ... now, she is continuing to have her parents take him because she can't break his habits. She is only looking out for herself. "


yep.

user banned California 36390 posts
1st May '13
Quoting Supafly★:" I'm not putting down family help. But she doesn't seem grateful at all. Not many parents would take ... [snip!] ... now, she is continuing to have her parents take him because she can't break his habits. She is only looking out for herself. "


I just can't judge her for it. Not when I struggle so much myself.

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14109 posts
1st May '13
Quoting Kimber-lily:" So what? Some people need help with raising kids, and obviously she didn't have that from her ex husband. Reaching out for help is not wrong. "


Her parents weren't "helping," they were doing all of the work for her. If she can't raise her child, she shouldn't have him. Sign over your rights and be done with him, instead of this "I'll only take you when you're good" shit. f**k that, I have no sympathy for her. And she's about to have another, like someone else pointed out.

Thr3e Little Birds 35 kids; Marysville, Washington 2720 posts
1st May '13
Quoting Supafly★:" Her parents weren't "helping," they were doing all of the work for her. If she can't raise her child, ... [snip!] ... when you're good" shit. f**k that, I have no sympathy for her. And she's about to have another, like someone else pointed out. "

Exactly!!!