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Cast Your Vote:

    • It might help. -- Votes: 59
    • Nah, i don't think it'd help. -- Votes: 26
long-term relationship, rough spot -POLL- KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59255 posts
1st May '13

Now, before i start, i'm not asking if you've done this (though share if you have) or if you'd do it-(not always practical) but just if you've thought about it & your thoughts on it.




And i'm talking about distance by CHOICE, not military or etc. So if that's your situation, so you wouldn't want more space- this doesn't apply.



Okay, now that that's out of the way.



For long term relationships, where there's kids involved and life is more than sunshines and smiles all the time- have you ever thought of a vacation?
From each other?
From your partner i mean.



In my head, a vacation away with my partner, no kids, etc- is stressful.
I miss my kids, and especially now with the newb, it's not even possible.



But a "vacation" away from each other- that i could go for.
A chance to MISS each other again, i feel like would be good for us.



BEFORE YOU GO INTO THE WHOLE KID BUSINESS
(who'd have the kids, "you'd keep him away from the kids for your own little relationship experiment?!" etc, don't go there- i've gone through custody stuff, this is just a hypothetical idea)



Even like, a weekend- or SOMETHING.
to remember what it's like to miss each other and WANT to see each other.



Anyone else?
And if you're just here to say, "no. i love my man. i always look forward to seeing him." woo hoo, but, anyone else wanna share?

user banned 3 kids; Portland, Michigan 15675 posts
1st May '13

Yup, I think about it all of the time. I think it might would help but then again I don't know?

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
1st May '13

I'm kind of on the fence, so I thought I'd answer anyway. Generally, I DON'T want that little break from DH, BUT I do occasionally go somewhere without him for a bit, like a few days, or overnight. It's nice to focus on myself and other people, and it makes it that much nicer to get to see him again the next day (or a few days later)



I'm going to the beach for like, 4 days in July, it'll be the longest I've gone without seeing him, like, ever :lol: And I'm super excited! I can't wait to come home to him, after we've both had time to focus more on ourselves. We'll have new things to talk about, since we'll have had different experiences in those few days, etc.

Captain Obvious 2 kids; Havana, Cuba 25634 posts
1st May '13

I've taken the kids and gone to disney world with my mom for a few days and we leave the men behind. it's refreshing.

user banned 3 kids; Washington 15083 posts
1st May '13

We did that is 2006 before kids and it was the worst decision ever. Can you get away the two of you and the NB and leave the other kids with a relative/babysitter so you can reconnect as a couple and have an enjoyable date together? Rather than just missing the person, I think it would do more good to actually make an effort and have a nice day or few solo. Hold hands, talk, eat, explore a little.

user banned 1 child; :), :), United States 5380 posts
1st May '13

I get what you're saying. It's worth a shot!

Naturally Alternative 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Lafayette, Louisiana 6672 posts
status 1st May '13

Hubby and I were going through things for a while. I went to my mom's for a few weeks with our daughter (we were living in NC at the time and my Mom was in PA).



It really gave us a chance to think about things without being around each other. Made us realize we DID want to safe the relationship. So we started going to counseling and it made a world of difference. A year off and on and things were like a 180... I thought I wanted to divorce him, but after we worked on things, we were in love again and things were going great for months... so we decided to have another child together.



It may not save your relationship to have a "vacation" but it could help you realize if it IS worth saving.

Vivian [♥] 2 kids; Balls Deep, in, Georgia 13935 posts
1st May '13

It won't fix the issues. You might miss the good qualities in each other. But a couple days being back in each others faces you'll forget about them and only see the bad again.
What would really work would be a weekend getaway together, no kids. Time to actually work on the issues instead of ignoring them and hoping they will go away after a few days apart.

izzy+Ethan 2 kids; Edmonton, Alberta 4056 posts
1st May '13

Some days I want too just to feel that feeling where u miss them and want them !!! Kinda like when u first started to fall fall in love with them but it still wasn't that serious. I mean I see him everyday and I love him but I do miss that feeling. I also feel like feeling that would bring u even closer maybe stupid tought but that's how I feel

KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59255 posts
1st May '13
Quoting chass
tonys_mama(army wife) 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Fort Irwin, California 15542 posts
1st May '13

I know you said this doesn't apply to militray couples but I'm going to give you my opinion anyway lol. DH is gone at least once a month in the field for 1-2 weeks at a time. I really think that it's good for our relationship. Like you said it gives us a chance to miss eachother and see how our life would be without the other. I think it's good to spend some time apart sometimes so you can cherish the time that you are together.

ILOVEWINE Due April 24; 2 kids; Sweden 10814 posts
1st May '13

A few years ago I thought about it. But I think for us it would have made things worse. I know you can't, but we went away for two nights and it honestly saved us. Now we go away once a year together usually just for a few nights.



Maybe just take a weekend from each other and regain your sanity, but I don't think making each other "miss" each other will really work

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
1st May '13
Quoting Vivian [♥]:" It won't fix the issues. You might miss the good qualities in each other. But a couple days being back ... [snip!] ... no kids. Time to actually work on the issues instead of ignoring them and hoping they will go away after a few days apart."


That's true. If there are issues that clearly need resolving, leaving the problems behind for a few days won't fix things. It'll just give a break from those things.

Naturally Alternative 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Lafayette, Louisiana 6672 posts
status 1st May '13
Quoting drunk mayhem.:" I'm kind of on the fence, so I thought I'd answer anyway. Generally, I DON'T want that little break from ... [snip!] ... more on ourselves. We'll have new things to talk about, since we'll have had different experiences in those few days, etc."


I'm going to the beach with his female family (it's a girls only trip lol) for 5 days. I'm excited for the trip. We're not really having serious problems right now, but a break away from things is always refreshing... especially since I'll be having a newbie soon. Last vacation for awhile haha.

Akeema 18 kids; 1 angel baby; Altus AFB (AFB), Oklahoma 6213 posts
1st May '13

Been there done that and all it did was make me angry and bitter because I had the kids and he got to go have fun. If it had been reversed it would have been the same for him. I mean it would have worked if the kids weren't in the mix, but with them it made it hard.